SESSION ONE

Setting the Tone

This first session helps participants get to know one another. Establishment of group norms is an important part of this session. There is an initial round of "getting to know you" conversation, followed by explanation of the program, norm setting, and naming of expectations. Then there is a second, deeper round of "getting to know you" conversation. In this initial session, participants should begin to articulate why they decided to participate in this group, what they want other group members to know about them, and what questions they bring about God and faith as they begin this exploration.

The timer numbers at the beginning of each transition are there to help you stay on track through a ninety-minute session. Leader guidelines are offered throughout the session with questions listed below the conversation topic. Don't expect that you will get through all these suggested questions. They are there to help you guide the conversation in the best possible way for your group.

Materials Needed:

[] Blank paper and markers

[] Handout A: "Circles of Faith" diagram

[] Handout B: "River of Life" exercise to take home

[] Flip chart if you like, to record group norms

Opening Prayer :00

(5 minutes)

Invite participants to sit comfortably, feet on the floor. Take a deep breath. Then another. Say, "We are going to sit in silence, sit in the presence of God, and pray that God's Spirit will move within and among us over these next five weeks." Hold the silence for at least five minutes. End by saying, "Now as you slowly return to the room, thank God for this time of silence and prayer." Take a pause, then say, "Amen."

Introductions 00:05

(15 minutes)

Introduce yourself first, saying a little bit about yourself, why you ended up as a leader for this group, and what you hope to gain out of leading this group. Continue with questions like these to the group:

• Who are you? What is going on in your life right now?

• Why did you decide to participate in this group? What do you hope to gain?

• What do you wonder about? Why are you here?

Creating a Safe Space 00:20

(10 minutes)

Introduce the ideas of norms by saying something like this:

• Vulnerability is an important part of speaking about your faith. This is not just about your head, what you believe in your mind. It is also about your heart, how you know and love and encounter God. In order for us to work at the level of faith, with all its questions, doubts, convictions, and joys, this should be a safe space for all of us to share freely.

• This five-week journey is designed to help you listen to God and to each other, in order to help you grow in your faith, to talk about what you know and don't know, what you believe and don't believe, what you hope for and what you fear. It will help you develop your own authentic language of faith. It will help build your confidence in talking about your faith with others. It may lead to a natural evangelism, where you are less ashamed or intimidated to talk about your relationship with God and understanding of God. But it can also lead to a deepened spiritual life, to better connections among your brothers and sisters in Christ in this church.

• There will be homework exercises between the sessions. Don't be afraid of the exercises. You may or may not like the exercise presented, but at least attempt it in faith and with a willing heart and see what comes out of it. If you have a strong resistance to the exercise, perhaps the goal for that exercise is then to explore what is your resistance? What bothers you about it? What are you afraid it might touch? Your willingness to engage with the exercises and to share what comes out of them for you will enhance this experience for you and the other members of the group.

• To talk about faith like this with other people touches three main themes: vulnerability, an acceptance of not having all the answers, and the ability to speak one's own truth. The way to honor these themes and help them develop is through open-ended questions, non-judgmental listening, and open, respectful conversation.

As a leader, you might talk some about your experiences in groups like this, what you have learned about how a group can be a safe space for everyone, and about your own experiences being vulnerable in front of others. How you model these themes — your own vulnerability, your own willingness to not have all the answers, and your own ability to speak your truth — will help participants do the same.

Developing Ground Rules 00:30

(10 minutes)

Help the group to develop norms for how they are to be together. Sample norms include:

• Listen as well as you can.

• Don't jump to judgment.

• Disagree respectfully.

• It's OK to share disagreement, but not to disagree in a personal way.

• Own and articulate your own feelings.

• You can talk outside the group without identifying who said what. Strip out identifying information.

• Revisit these norms if necessary.

• No interrupting. Let each person finish his or her thought.

• Don't assume; be inquiring.

• In general, keep your phones off the table and out of your hands.

If the group has a hard time getting started, offer one or two norms off the list as a starting point. Ways to surface norms are to ask questions like: What do you need to feel comfortable in this group? What norms could help us do that? What do you need to happen to be heard? How can we help everyone be respected and heard?

The group should develop its own norms. The sample is just a sample. If the group doesn't own its own boundaries for how to be together, then people won't feel safe. After this session, prepare a list of the group's norms that you can easily refer to in future sessions — either as a handout for members, or on a sheet of flip chart paper that you post each week.

Another Round of Getting to Know You, Only Deeper 00:40

(20 minutes)

Distribute the diagram with the circles of different kinds of faith (Handout A on page 49).

• Explain how this is based on the work of John Westerhoff, who developed a model of faith formation back in the 1970s. He writes that the beginning of faith is an experienced faith, much like we feel as children. It's based on feelings of trust, love, and acceptance. It is basically passive, and experienced through the love of other community members.

• The next stage is affiliative faith. This also is based in a feeling of belonging, especially to a community with a clear identity. "In my church, we always do ..." "Episcopalians never do ..." People in this style of faith need to...