The (False) Truth

From the perspective of the present, I would describe the environment I grew up in as a miniature society, in which the only thing that mattered was to be a Catholic. In those days, there was some segregation in the Netherlands. It is undeniable that in the 1940's and 50's there was not much to do in the Catholic south of the country. North of the big rivers, everything was different. Those regions were inhabited by people who thought differently – by Calvinists or other strict reformists. The churches there always expected people to wear black stockings, which was the symbol of a very strict way of life. That is how we described those people and when we talked about them, it seemed so far away, as if we were speaking of a foreign country. During the war and all it entailed we attached a lot of importance to whatever the pastor preached to us on Sunday. Most people did not have much money to spend and there was an atmosphere of threat and insecurity. Their daily existence was the thing that kept people occupied.

In this world, I grew up in a traditional Catholic family. Sundays, High Mass and Praise were obligatory. The same went for some other days also. We had to attend Praise on Wednesday evening and were obliged to go to church every first Friday of the month. In May and October (the months devoted to Mother Mary), we visited church every night for the rosary prayer. I grew up with themes like the Ten Commandments, and getting indulgence, which we could earn by lighting a candle and reciting, six times, the prayers of Our Father and Hail Mary. After that, we would leave the church for a moment and all would start over again. Every time we followed this routine, we deserved an indulgence on behalf of a deceased person. All devout Catholic persons followed this scheme, because they followed their leaders and believed what the Church taught them. One can compare this to a sect, for the members were brainwashed by their leaders and had their minds turned around. People accepted delusions and fabrications without further investigation. I can still hear my father say, "The pope is infallible in his declarations." It is clear to me that this morbid comedy has been playing for ages. It was most successful during times when common people did not know how to read or write.

In September 1942, my mother took me to school for the first time and I was not exactly eager to go. I was an early pupil, only six years old. With the war raging, there was no such thing as nursery school. During that first year in school, I experienced my First Holy Communion. It was common practice to place the word "holy" before other words, whether it was justified or not. Did this really add any value? Now I know that the Catholic Church wanted this word to convey some sort of elevation, but apart from this woolly, unrealistic theological thinking, the basic meaning of the word holy is simply: "complete."

When I grew up it was common practice for the entire first class of a Roman Catholic primary school to be prepared for First Communion. It was not a matter of choice and we simply went with it. Nowadays, parents and child together make the decision whether or not to take First Communion. That is why few children take their First Communion these days. The question arises: who ever came up with this? However, in those days the Church was still the dominant center of society, where people adored the pastor or chaplain of their religious community. It was what people were used to and they were, in a manner of speaking, blind, because nobody noticed the degree of manipulation of this institution called "the Church."

Part of the preparation for First Communion consisted of learning several songs. One of them stuck in my mind. It clearly made a big impression. The first part of the song was, "My Jesus, Beloved Lord, lives behind the golden door of the altar." I remember while I was singing this, it filled me with loathing, but I did not understand why. During visits to the church, the atmosphere of candle light, incense, song and music, was very soothing for me and I would usually drift away into daydreams. Looking at it from my current viewpoint, I think I would have revolted if I had had the capacity to reflect on it, at that time. Utter nonsense of course, Jesus living behind the golden altar door. In my mind, I see the famous Dutch comedian Toon Hermans, telling the public he was knocking on the little door, but nobody ever answered. This is a playful remark, but in fact, it is appalling that even adults did not question this nonsense!

Another example is the Catechism, from which it is clear to what degree we were brainwashed. When I go back in my memory, I still feel anger surging inside me. Looking at it objectively, it is a stupid game of question and answer, which may be appropriate for children, but certainly not for adults. I even wonder if the authors were perhaps children themselves, or if they were simply senile? How many people are still aware of the Catechism? Not many, I presume. This is why I decided to look more closely at this paradigm of the Catholic theological teachings. Quoting some questions and answers:

To which purpose are we here on earth? We are here on earth in order to serve God and go to heaven.

Who has taught us how to serve God? Jesus Christ taught us how to serve God.

How should we obey the teachings of Jesus Christ? We should obey the teachings of Jesus Christ with deep faith and reverence.

Who is God? God is our Father, who lives in heaven.

Nowadays we can laugh about a simple game of question and answer like this. Is it not completely ridiculous that they used it to manipulate and brainwash people? Most tragic is that even the teachers believed in this invented nonsense.

The teacher taught us also biblical history and about the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Ghost) and the confession of faith, which is the Creed of the Catholic Church. Looking back, I now realize the genius of these lessons. The friar knew, acting from his personal religious experience, how to open the hearts of children, in an emotional and almost theatrical way, and then spread the seeds of the Catholic faith. He must have felt great satisfaction, knowing he had fulfilled his task in a splendid manner. The entire class was mesmerized listening to his story and the children looked at the beautiful illustrations of biblical stories that the teacher showed. These friars must have been trained to present their story in a very lively manner. Another example of acting were the preachers, mostly Franciscans or Augustinians, who would often shamelessly conduct the meditations of suffering from the pulpit. They were complete little plays, theatrical to the core.

The friar...