FIRED AF!

Scene 58: AJ Gets Canned

EXT. VIETNAMESE NOODLE SHOP – DAY

The sun shines down on the pavement of the noodle shop parking lot. The lot is small and empty except for the single employee who steps out of the rear entrance from time to time, taking trash to the dumpster.

Steaming under the sun's rays is a Black Audi Q5, sitting alone in the middle of the quiet lot.

Two figures sit inside the car.

We ZOOM in on the car.

INT. BLACK AUDI Q5-DAY

A hand reaches for an iPhone 6, resting on the center console. The slender fingers are shaking as they reach to answer the now ringing phone.

We PAN up the arm to meet AJ, 35. A charismatic man; a man whose good looks can only be matched by his quick wit. Passionate and outspoken, his thirst for life is unmatched; although in this moment, with tears pressing to the surface of his eyes, his confidence and thirst for life have disappeared.

Beside AJ sits EMILE, AJ's boyfriend. Emile reaches a hand out to AJ and places it tenderly on his knee.

AJ answers the phone.

"Hey, what's up, boss?"

My executive producer was on the other end of the call. He'd been trying to reach me for three days, but I'd avoided him like the plague.

"Hey, AJ. How are you?"

I knew he was calling to fire me from Hollywood Today Live, so my emotions were all over the map.

"I'm fine, what's up?"

I WAS NOT FINE.

"Well, I'd like to meet up for coffee if you have time today," he said.

I didn't want to meet for coffee. Who the fuck wants to meet for coffee with the guy who's about to fire them from the biggest opportunity they'd ever had? I was the host of a nationally syndicated talk show on Fox, but I knew that would change the moment I met him for coffee and accepted my fate.

"Listen, we can just do this over the phone, I'm fine."

Still not fine. Not even close.

"I'd rather not, AJ, if that's okay with you."

Aaaaaaahhhhh ... why was he making this so hard. Couldn't he just text "YOU'RE FIRED" or something so we could both move on with our lives? I've never been a huge fan of confrontation, and even though I'm not technically a millennial anymore, ever since they created that oddly accurate Xennial subcategory for all of us born between 1977–1983, I still would've preferred to communicate like a millennial in this situation. I was okay getting fired via text!

"Well, boss, if YOU need to do this in person for YOUR conscience, then I guess I can meet up with you in a bit."

"I do, AJ. Thank you."

I was being kind of a dick to him, but I was scared and hurting, and I did not want to hear the words I knew were about to come out of his mouth. I placed my phone back on the console, took a deep breath, and looked over at Emile. Without a word spoken, he knew.

Shaking, I started up my car. I'd spent much of my adult life driving a broke-down Chevrolet Equinox well past its prime, but I had decided to treat myself to a brand-new Audi Q5 just a few months prior to this moment in the parking lot of Absolutely Phobulous. (Such a cute name for a Vietnamese noodle shop.)

Lacking even the most basic features, the Equinox was not the vehicle of a man on his way to the top of the entertainment industry. Two of the power windows no longer worked, the air conditioning had gone out years before, and the sunroof had been permanently ajar for about three years before I got rid of it. I was too broke to fix any of its issues, but once that Fox money started rolling in, I was ready to live in luxury. I was ready for windows that would go up AND down whenever I felt like it. I'd made it!

That Q5 was my pride and joy, and as I looked in my rearview mirror before backing out of that tiny parking lot, I hit the gas and prepared to guide my baby out into the alley. Instead, I guided her right into the wall in front of me!

I got out, checked the front bumper, and slouched back into the driver's seat, completely deflated. I was trying to keep it together but began to unravel quickly. Emile did his best to calm me, but in my mind, all I kept thinking about was the fact that I was about to be fired. Then, of course, I started to worry about how I would continue to pay for my car. Oh yeah, and how would I pay to fix the big scratch I'd just added to the front of it? How would I ever show my face in public again? What would I tell the parents who'd invested in my dream financially and emotionally all these years because I had convinced them that it would all be worth it? If I showed up for coffee, would this be the last time I ever met with an executive producer again?

I was spiraling.

Scratching my bumper on any other day would not have sent me on such a downward spiral, but piled on top of the gravity of the situation I was already up against, it was just too much. Wouldn't it be nice if we could pick and choose what fires to put out and when?

That's just not how life works, though, and at that very moment, the universe was teaching me a master class in rock bottom survival. Luckily, I was not alone.

"Boo, you are going to be just fine. This show does not define you. You are talented, and there will be other opportunities."

I have the best boyfriend ever. His name is Emile; you'll learn more about him later.

"I know. It's just that I don't actually know for sure that I'll ever work again, but I do believe in my heart that this is only the beginning. I just can't believe this is happening."

The strangest thing is that although I hadn't been happy on the show since returning to Fox only three months before, that didn't mean I was ready to walk away. Hollywood Today Live had started a couple of years prior as a two-minute internet segment that my soon-to-be-former co-host Kristen Brockman and I used to do called, "Hot Off the Net: LA Edition." I don't know that there was ever another edition in some other city, but I do know that literally no one ever watched our edition. Through lots of creative maneuvering spanning about two years, and more smoke and mirrors than I'd ever witnessed, that little segment was fleshed out, developed into an hour-long talk show, and eventually picked up for a six-week test run the previous summer.

Basically, this means we were given an opportunity to air our show in a handful of cities for a six-week period, and if our ratings were good enough, Fox would...