INTRODUCTION

What is most personal is most universal.

— Carl R. Rogers

I'm sharing my heart healing story at the beginning of this book, not because it is unique, rather because I know the power of stories. As you read mine, I imagine you will be reminded of similar feelings you have had or are having in the midst of a broken heart. You will see that while our circumstances are different, we share some or all of the emotions and thoughts activated by heartbreak — and in this, I pray that you will know that you are not alone.

You will also see that healing a broken heart is not a linear process. For instance, if your heart initially closes as a way of protecting you from the devastating onrush of pain, and then over time opens, this doesn't mean that your heart may never close again. It is through waking up to our beliefs — thoughts charged with emotional energy, thoughts that have been thought over and over again — that we learn what triggers our physical sensations and emotions and that we uncover the programming (the operating system) that informs our life. It is through this awareness that we can choose to accept the invitation to upgrade the software of our mind and heal our heart.

I have had the gift of working with and guiding thousands of women and men as they navigated the pain of heartbreak to heal their hearts and find the courage to boldly Love again with audacity. I share my journey with you so you will know that Love is your birthright and see that ultimately a broken heart is an open heart — allowing the light of Love to flow in and out.

You didn't just break my heart; you broke our future.

— Steve Maraboli

On May 2, 2017, I eagerly awaited the return of Beau, the man I loved. He'd been in China for three weeks. We had dreamt about Asia and were planning to live and travel there beginning in January 2018 for at least a year. China and tea had captured his heart.

I was delightfully imagining the sexy lingerie I'd wear to greet him upon his return and the food I would have ready for him. I knew what made his mouth water.

May 3, 2017

I hadn't heard from Beau during the previous two days. When we had last spoken on Sunday, he'd said he'd be up in the mountains for a few days and didn't expect to have Wi-Fi or cell service.

I had called Beau as soon as I had gotten home on Sunday after leading a two-day workshop in New York City, where I had listened intently to thirty interfaith seminary students, then taken a four-hour trip back to Massachusetts.

He was distressed as he told me that while the people he loved lived in the United States — his three kids, four grandkids, and ME — the country he loved and that was calling to him was China — 7,000 miles away. After about fifteen minutes of listening, I lovingly said, "Beau, I know this is important to you, and I want to listen, but I've been listening to thirty people for two full days — I have to go to sleep." I'd sensed annoyance in his voice as he said, "Okay, go to sleep."

I hung up the phone, but a few minutes later, I called him back. I so wanted to be there for him. Isn't this what we do for those we Love? He spoke more about his internal struggle. After about twenty minutes, I was shocked to hear myself blurt out, "Are you breaking up with me?" Without missing a beat, he said, "No, our relationship is good." But during the two days since, while I hadn't heard from him, I had wondered why I had asked that question out of the blue. I'd wished I could take it back. While I didn't obsess about it, sporadically throughout the day, it had popped into my mind. Then I remembered, he had reassured me that our relationship was good.

May 4, 2017

I woke up very excited that Beau would soon be home. It was a beautiful sunny May day. Watching the sunlight dancing on the pond from the bed that Beau had bought just for us, I envisioned our bodies entangled like spaghetti — delighting in the view we were so blessed to wake to each morning. A delicious morning of lovemaking had taken hold of my imagination. He would be home in just five days.

An hour later, as the morning sun filled the living room with the glorious light of a new day, I was sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap, not expecting my world to change when I opened my email. This is what I read:

I am back on my path. The path I was on when we met. Our love filled my life with joy. I thought it was my new path to be with you ... but over here I have seen my way again. And I have realized it is my way, not our way.

There is not much else to say except I have been blessed by your presence for the time you were with me.

But now I must set out again on the road that I was on.

I wish you all the best — bestselling books, novels, special friends, full happiness, bliss.

I will be back on May 9. I have things to wrap up and to prepare for an extended time in Asia. I do not think it will be a good time for us to be sharing my house as I will be in the process of wrapping up my time on the pond. Getting ready for my water to be the Mekong, the Yangtze, the South China Sea, Lake Lugu ...

All my love and best wishes, Beau

In the thirty-five seconds it took for me to read the email, my life changed. I stood up, clutching my laptop. As I looked around the room, nothing seemed real to me. There it was, that...