Give the Wallflower a Voice

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Introverts tend to possess the ability for intense concentration and a sense of calm and compassion, as well as being perceptive, observant, and good listeners, according to the Myers Briggs personality type definitions and studies by psychologist Marti Olsen Laney, PsyD, MFT, author of The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World.

However, when you think about your own introverted personality, you're likely to focus on the negative aspects of your reserved nature, such as not speaking up or taking action. Like a wallflower, you may feel invisible and ignored as the laughter and fun of the party swirl around you.

Being quiet and thoughtful can have a calming effect on your friends and colleagues, but those personality traits won't propel your job search or win you that promotion. However, if you take advantage of your ability to concentrate and think problems through, you can become as successful as any extrovert. After all, even wallflowers can blossom! It all begins with focusing on your positive personal attributes and having a clear and deep understanding of what you bring to the table.

I found that one of the big challenges for many introverts is expressing what makes them unique, especially in situations when there's no time to think through possible answers. Questions such as, "How would you describe yourself?" or "What are your strengths?" are examples of what you'll be asked when exploring a new career, looking for a job, talking to an acquaintance who may have a lead, or sitting in an interview. As introverts, we share information about ourselves as if we are peeling away the layers of an onion, gradually opening up as we get to know someone better. However, employers and professional contacts may expect answers they can sink their teeth into immediately — a full-fledged "meal" of information, complete with details and insights into what makes you tick and how you might add value to the industry or field.

Self-Assessment: Who Are You, Really?

If you want to succeed in your career now and in the future, it's essential to understand how to clearly articulate who you are and the scope of your experience. Most introverts know deep down what makes them special, but finding the right words to express their uniqueness can prove to be challenging. Even when you embrace the words, it's not your nature to boast, so understanding how to come across as talented and competent without sounding egotistical can be equally tricky.

Going through a self-assessment process is like unwrapping a gift of self-awareness that offers you both insight into your strengths and the language to sell yourself to the professional world. I designed the series of exercises in this chapter to help you identify and evaluate your achievements, values, skills, interests, and personality, providing a keen awareness of what you bring to the table and the confidence to express these attributes to a contact or prospective employer.

Maybe you don't trust that completing a series of exercises will help you overcome your panic about what to say when a prospective employer or networking contact asks those big questions. Stay tuned, because I am about to show how a full inventory of you will offset your fear or self-doubt. The self-assessment process takes advantage of your natural, introverted penchant for "digging deep" or seeking within. You'll uncover unique strengths and capabilities, and discover what's important to you. These insights can be used to create an engaging story that you'll be eager to tell about yourself at a networking event, in an informational meeting, on a LinkedIn profile, or during an interview or performance evaluation.

Achievements Exercise

Throughout your life, you can no doubt list a variety of achievements of which you deserve to be proud. They might be personal accomplishments like learning to fix a flat tire, running a 5K, cooking a gourmet meal, and organizing a family event; or career-related successes like writing a proposal, training staff, introducing a new program, or creating a database. Whether simple or complex, achievements can instill a sense of pride and boost confidence. They also offer clues into your overall interests, skills, and values, and will generate words and phrases you can use to describe who you are and what your goals are. After you complete these exercises, you'll know exactly what to say about your achievements and how these reflect your added value to people who can support your job search or as you promote your career to potential employers.

Shining a bright light on your achievements is one of the most positive ways to understand what has been most meaningful to you in your life. Completing the following achievement exercise is also a great way to get out of your introverted modesty zone and give your ego an overdue massage as you take pride in your many accomplishments.

When I taught a career evaluation course at the University of Pennsylvania, I used myself to model the Achievement Exercise by listing three of my favorite achievements, and then asking my students for feedback on what they learned about me based upon these accomplishments.

My Three Accomplishments

1. Creating my first flower garden.

2. Getting selected by my high school English department to recite the Gettysburg Address before a large audience at the end of the town Memorial Parade. I managed to do it in spite of my fear of being in the spotlight.

3. Designing, planning, and presenting the first career discovery seminar for college students at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business.

I asked the class to help me identify any interests and skills related to my three accomplishments as well as corresponding values (standards or ideals important to a person, such as using one's creativity or obtaining recognition — the two values demonstrated in the following Gettysburg Address example). What they came up with for each of my achievements expanded on what I knew about myself.

My Three Accomplishments' Skills and Values

1. Planting my first flower garden

[??] Skills: visual design, creative thinking, planning, problem-solving

[??] Values: aesthetics, creativity, learning

2. Gettysburg Address

[??] Skills: public speaking, performing

[??] Values: recognition, creativity

3. Career Discovery Seminar

[??] Skills: research, writing, interviewing, teaching, advising, organizing, problem-solving, creative thinking

[??] Values: creativity, knowledge, recognition, helping others

My Essential Skills and...