The God Pestilence

by Johann Most

Among all mental diseases which man has systematically inoculated into his cranium, the religious pest is the most abominable.

Like all things else, this disease has a history; it only regrettable that in this case nothing will be found of the development from nonsense to reason, which is generally assumed to be the course of history.

Old Zeus and his double Jupiter were still quite decent, jolly, we might even say, somewhat enlightened fellows, if compared with the last triplet on the pedigree of gods who, on examination, can safely rival with Vitzliputzli as to brutality and cruelty.

We won't argue at all with the pensioned or dethroned gods, for they no longer do any harm. But the more modern, still officiating cloud lollers and terrorists of hell we shall criticize, expose, and vanquish the more disrespectfully.

The Christians have a threefold God; their ancestors, the Jews, were content with a single simpleton. Otherwise both species are quite a humorous crowd. "Old and New Testament" are to them the sources of all knowledge; therefore, willing or not, one must read the "holy writ" if one wants to fathom their shallowness and learn to deride them.

If we only take the "history" of these deities, we find an ample sufficiency for the characterization of the whole. In a short sketch the case stands thus: in the beginning God "created" heaven and earth — consequently he found himself next of all in a complete void, where it surely may have been dreary enough to bore even a deity. And it being but a trifle for a god to conjure worlds out of nothing by magic, like a juggler shaking eggs or silver dollars out of his coat sleeves, he (God)"created" heaven and earth. Somewhat later he molded the sun, moon, and stars to suit himself.

It is true, certain heretics, called astronomers, have established long since that the earth neither is nor could have been the center of the universe, nor could its existence have antedated that of the sun, around which it revolves. These people have proved it to be sheer lunacy to speak of sun, moon, and stars and with the same breath of the earth as being, compared with the former, something special and of great preponderance. It has been taught to every schoolboy that the sun is only a star, the earth one of its satellites, and the moon an under-satellite of the earth; and, furthermore, that the earth, compared with the universe, far from acting a conspicuous part, is only an atom, looking like a rain of dust.

But why should a God concern himself about astronomy? He does what he pleases and poohoos science and logic. For this reason, he made, after manufacturing the earth, first the light and afterwards the sun. Today even a Hottentot can understand there can be no light on earth without the stuff, but God — well, he is no Hottentot.

But let us continue to investigate. Thus far the "creation" was quite a success, but there was still something lacking — things were not lively enough. The creator wanted some pastime, therefore he finally made man. Curiously enough, he now deviated entirely from the method previously applied. Instead of accomplishing this creation by a simple and imperative "Let it be!" he made it exceedingly troublesome. He took a prosaic lump of common clay in his hand, modelled it into the figure of a man "after his own image" and "breathed into his nostrils the breath of life." God being of infinite wisdom, benign, just, in short — amability itself — it occurred to him that this Adam, as he had named his last article, being alone, would find life exceedingly tedious (perhaps he remembered his own former lonely existence to "Nothing"), and so he made him quite a nice, enticing little Eve. But, in the meantime, experience had evidently taught him that the handling of a lump of clay was a rather unclean business, especially for a god, therefore he applied another new method of manufacture. He tore (dexterity is no witchcraft, least of all for a god) a rib out of Adam's body and changed it into a charming female. Whether this rib, extracted from Adam was restored at a later period or whether, after the performed operation, Adam had to run about in the world as a "one-sided" individual is a matter upon which the polite historian says nothing.

Modern natural science has established that animals and plants have, through the most manifold ramifications, developed during the course of millions of years from simple molluscous matter to their present forms. Man is nothing but the most perfect form of this development, and that he not only had, some thousands of years ago, a very brutish appearance, without language, but also that he — every other supposition excludes itself — must have developed from inferior animal species.

Consequently, natural science stamps God with his self-proclaimed creation of man as a preposterous braggart. But of what avail is all this? — God won't have any tomfoolery. Whether his tales have a scientific ring, or whether they sound like foolish babble, he commands belief in them, otherwise he will let it come to pass that his competitor, the "devil," will get you into his clutches, which is supposed to be quite uncomfortable. For in hell there is not only moaning and the gnashing of teeth but an eternal fire burns, an indefatigable worm is gnawing your soul, and a dreadful stench of burning pitch and sulfur fills the air. To all these discomforts the bodiless man is supposed to be exposed. His flesh, of which he is void, is stewed; his decayed and fallen-out teeth clatter; he howls without a throat or lungs; he smells without a nose — and all this eternally. A devil of a god! Taking all in all, God is, as he candidly informs us in his autobiographical chronicle — the Bible — extremely whimsical and revengeful; actually, an ideal model of a despot.

Hardly were Adam and Eve in existence, before God took it as a matter of course that this rabble must be governed. He decreed a penal code, which said categorically, "Thou shalt not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!" Since that time no tyrant has existed anywhere who did not lay down the same decree for the people.

Adam and Eve did not respect this prohibition, therefore, they were exiled and sentenced to hard labor for life — they and their descendants for all time to come. Beyond this, "civil rights" were taken away from Eve, she being declared to be a bond servant to Adam, whom she was to obey. Besides, both of them were to be under eternal divine police...