Medea

hiiiiiiii

hi who is this

it's Glauce right?? that is such a pretty name I am so crazy about how pretty your name is "Jason and Glauce" sounds so good together

thank you who is this?

when is the WEDDING I hope you guys have the Argonauts as groomsmen and they do the sword thing you know where they make the little roof with their swords and you run down underneath it it's so cute oh my god what am I saying you probably already have a million plans, it's your wedding it was just my favorite part of my wedding (except for the part where I married Jason!!!) (he is so fun to be married to) (tell him I say hi!!!)

sorry who is this

So I know we got off on the wrong foot it's Medea!! save my number okay

oh Hello

but I wanted you to know I do not have any of even the littlest hard feelings all of my feelings about you are just so soft and so normal just normal soft feelings that you're going to love

okay

anyhow so to SHOW YOU how soft my feelings are I got you guys a wedding present!!! I know it's not really "traditional" for the old wife to buy the new wife a gift (especially when she is still technically married to Jason) (who tell him I say hi!!!) buuuut I couldn't help myself

oh! you must mean the box that came on Thursday

yessss I TOTALLY MEAN THAT

it's a dress

it's a wedding dress

thank you I mean, I already have a wedding dress picked out but this is very sweet

do you know what you should do though you should put it on you should put it on your skin and wear it just for a minute (be sure to put it on your skin)

Gilgamesh

come along Gilgamesh be you my husband to me grant your lusciousness I will harness for you a chariot of lapis lazuli with wheels of gold be my husband and I will be your wife

oh wow Ishtar that's so flattering I'm so flattered

the Lullubu people will bring you produce of the mountains as tribute your she-goats will bear triplets

that's such a tempting offer

your ewes twins your donkey will overtake the mule

i would just love to but super quick question how is your boyfriend Tammuz these days is he still trapped in the Underworld?

I don't know what you mean

how about all your other boyfriends still horribly dead or turned into wolves?

you know what never mind

i'm just super curious since you've murdered exactly all of them if maybe you were planning on doing that to me too

i hope you get eaten by dogs

there it is