Inhaltsangabe
For a Better Life, Close the Gaps!
We all want to make a difference. But just as you need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping other passengers on an airplane, getting your own life together is the first step to making a positive impact in the world. Franklin Covey cofounder Hyrum Smith shows that what stops us are gaps between where we are and where we want to be. The first is the Beliefs Gap, between what we believe to be true and what is actually true. The second is the Values Gap, between what we value most in life and what we actually spend our life doing. The third is the Time Gap, between what we plan to do each day and what we actually get done.
Smith offers a practical blueprint that we all can use to recognize and close each of these three gaps and illustrates how it can be done through inspiring true stories. The 3 Gaps provides the concepts and the tools needed to establish a solid foundation from which you can help make the world a better place.
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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor
Hyrum W. Smith is the cofounder and former Chairman and CEO of Franklin Covey and the cofounder of 3Gaps, a personal and organizational training company. He is also the author of several nationally acclaimed books, including The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management, What Matters Most, and You Are What You Believe.
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CHAPTER 1
The Beliefs Gap
Closing the Beliefs Gap
The Power of the Belief Window
Because beliefs are such a powerful determining factor in our lives, the first gap I want to discuss is the gap between what you believe to be true and what is actually true: your Beliefs Gap.
There was a time when the vast majority of the people on this earth believed that the sun revolved around the earth. When Copernicus suggested and Galileo insisted that it was the other way around, people considered them heretics. The fact that they were right was irrelevant; and, at the time, believing the wrong thing about the sun’s relationship to the earth had no serious consequences (other than personal ostracism). Had we not corrected that erroneous belief we certainly would never have had the power to achieve the tremendous scientific advances spurred on by the space program. The correct belief allowed us to make a difference.
Consider the following story.
John walks into the yard of a friend, and is surprised to see a Doberman pinscher that has never been there before. At first he freezes in terror; then he runs out of the yard as fast as his legs can carry him without pausing to wonder how the dog got there or to notice if it is on a chain.
Later, Susan walks into the same yard. She is just as surprised as John to be greeted by a Doberman. Her reaction, however, is to squeal with delight, “Oh! How cute!” She runs toward the dog so she can pet it and scratch it behind its ears.
Why such different reactions to the same dog? It’s all about what I call the Belief Window.
Everyone has a Belief Window. I like to picture it as a small, clear window hanging in front of your face. I imagine it hooked in place so that every time you move, the Belief Window moves with you: you look out into the world through that window and you draw in information from the world through the same window.
On this Belief Window you have placed thousands of beliefs or principles that you assume to be correct. They have accumulated over your entire life and they are not all equal in value. Some are good, some aren’t. Some are rational, some are irrational. Some are productive and some are counterproductive. The number of beliefs on your Belief Window tends to be a function of your age and experience. We put beliefs on our windows because we believe that they are true and that by following them we will meet our needs over time.
John has a belief on his Belief Window that says that all Doberman pinschers are vicious; he has accepted that as a correct principle. So when he is confronted by a Doberman pinscher, his behavior is to run, to evade, to leap tall buildings with a single bound—whatever it takes to distance himself from that Doberman. He doesn’t go through an analysis of the situation. Reactions based on one’s underlying beliefs are automatic.
Susan, on the other hand, has a belief that says that all dogs are cute and sweet. Her behavior around a Doberman is drastically different from John’s because of what she believes to be true about dogs.
Your Belief Window is covered with beliefs, and that window governs your behavior. The issue is,
Do you have correct or incorrect beliefs on your Belief Window?
Everyone has correct, incorrect, and debatable beliefs that influence behavior. Keep in mind that in using the terms correct and incorrect, I am not attempting to make moral judgments about whether beliefs are “good” or “bad”; I use the terms only to simplify this discussion, and to indicate how those beliefs affect our lives.
If a belief reflects natural law or reality—such as “vegetables are good for people,” “gravity keeps me on the ground,” or “the world revolves around the sun”—it may be considered as generally correct. Beliefs contrary to such natural laws could be considered incorrect.
In addition to being based on natural laws, the things we believe can be reflections of personal values, such as “financial independence is important” or “I should treat others the way I want to be treated.”
Beliefs can also simply be a subjective judgment or matter of opinion, such as “European cars are better than American cars,” “broccoli doesn’t taste good,” or “I can eat anything I want and it won’t affect me adversely.” Matters of opinion are not easily categorized as correct or incorrect. Whether your beliefs are backed by strong scientific evidence, grow out of your values, or are completely subjective doesn’t change the fact that because we believe them to be true, we will act as if they are true. The key is to identify the beliefs on our window and change those that are incorrect, inadequate, or counterproductive.
Because there is no way to print out a list of the beliefs on anyone’s Belief Window, we need to find another way to determine what those beliefs might be. The only way to do this is to examine the behavior they produce. (It wouldn’t be too hard to figure out what John has on his Belief Window about Dobermans based on observing his behavior pattern whenever he runs into one.) If you analyze a pattern of behavior in your own life that has negative results, you are the victim of an incorrect or inadequate belief. In other words, you have a Belief Gap that needs closing.
In another book, You Are What You Believe, I discuss more fully a model of human behavior known as the Reality Model. I will not discuss it in detail here, but will suggest that you pick up that book for a complete explanation.
It suffices here to point out that incorrect beliefs on your Belief Window lead to patterns of behavior that produce negative results. You will experience stress, emotional pain, relationship disruptions, and/or employment disappointments (among other things) when this is the case.
Let me point out here that all of our beliefs and behaviors are designed to meet basic needs common to all of us. Those generally accepted needs include the need to live (survival), the need to love and be loved (relationship), the need to feel important (have value), and the need for variety. If we are not meeting those needs, we will feel pain in one way or another. (John was no doubt trying to meet his need to live when he ran from the Doberman, and Susan was meeting her need to love and be loved.)
What is important to understand is that even though we put beliefs on our Belief Window that we think will meet these needs, we are not always correct. Perhaps because of a bad experience early in life, or because someone taught us something at an early age, or because we might misinterpret events around us, all of us get beliefs on our Belief Window that fail to meet our needs.
This is a good time to point out that determining whether or not your behavior meets your needs takes time to measure. Something that may seem to meet your needs in a one-time situation takes on a whole different dimension when measured over time. An obvious example might be the use and abuse of alcohol. If you believe that drinking relaxes you and makes you more socially adept, you may try that a few times; it may even work the way you intend it to. But many people have found that, over time, the results from that belief do great damage to their relationships, employment, and mental health. Remember, results take time to measure.
You can choose to believe whatever you wish; just remember that your beliefs drive your behavior. A correct belief will lead to good results—results that are positive and beneficial to you. In other words, it will meet one or more of your four basic needs over time. An incorrect belief will lead to bad...
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