Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money or Muscle) - Hardcover

Malhotra, Deepak

 
9781626566972: Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money or Muscle)
Hardcover
ISBN 10: 1626566976 ISBN 13: 9781626566972
Verlag: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2016

Inhaltsangabe

Some negotiations are easy. Others are more difficult. And then there are situations that seem completely hopeless. Conflict is escalating, people are getting aggressive, and no one is willing to back down. And to top it off, you have little power or other resources to work with. Harvard professor and negotiation adviser Deepak Malhotra shows how to defuse even the most potentially explosive situations and to find success when things seem impossible.

Malhotra identifies three broad approaches for breaking deadlocks and resolving conflicts, and draws out scores of actionable lessons using behind-the-scenes stories of fascinating real-life negotiations, including drafting of the US Constitution, resolving the Cuban Missile Crisis, ending bitter disputes in the NFL and NHL, and beating the odds in complex business situations. But he also shows how these same principles and tactics can be applied in everyday life, whether you are making corporate deals, negotiating job offers, resolving business disputes, tackling obstacles in personal relationships, or even negotiating with children.

As Malhotra reminds us, regardless of the context or which issues are on the table, negotiation is always, fundamentally, about human interaction. No matter how high the stakes or how protracted the dispute, the object of negotiation is to engage with other human beings in a way that leads to better understandings and agreements. The principles and strategies in this book will help you do this more effectively in every situation.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Deepak Malhotra is the Eli Goldston Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School. He teaches negotiation in the MBA program and in a wide variety of executive education programs. He has been published in top journals in the fields of management, psychology, conflict resolution, and foreign policy, and he has won numerous awards for both his teaching and his research. He does training and consulting work for firms across the globe and advises governments that are seeking to end armed conflicts. He is the coauthor of Negotiation Genius and the author of I Moved Your Cheese.

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INTRODUCTION

The Most Ancient Lesson in Peacemaking
Among the oldest peace treaties in history is the Treaty of Kadesh, which was negotiated between the Egyptian and Hittite empires over three thousand years ago, in the middle of the 13th century BCE With neither party willing to continue incurring the costs of war, and with each side wary of looming conflict with its other neighbors, Pharaoh Ramesses II and King Hattusili III sought to negotiate an end to the conflict. Such attempts are difficult not only because the issues at stake may be contentious or complex, but because, often, neither side wants to make the first move. The side that comes asking for peace may look weak rather than wise or magnanimous, a signal that no leader can afford to send. And yet, a deal was reached. Despite having been drafted thousands of years ago, the treaty has many of the hallmarks of more recent agreements, including provisions proclaiming the end to conflict, the repatriation of refugees, an exchange of prisoners, and a mutual assistance pact if either side were to be attacked by others.1

One other characteristic makes this accord similar to what we often see today—in peace treaties, commercial agreements, and successful efforts at resolving conflicts ranging from international disputes to arguments between spouses. This feature is apparent in the Treaty of Kadesh only because it was recorded in two languages: hieroglyphics (the Egyptian translation) and Akkadian (the Hittite translation). A comparison of the translations reveals that the two versions are, as we ought to expect, very similar. But there is at least one important difference. The Egyptian translation states that it was the Hittites who came asking for peace terms. The Hittite version claims exactly the opposite.

When it comes to deal making, diplomacy, and resolving disputes, it does not matter which culture you examine or what kind of negotiation you investigate. It does not matter why people were fighting or why they chose to settle their differences. Some things never change: the need for all sides to declare victory is at least as old as recorded history itself.

The Treaty of Kadesh also exposes a more fundamental insight about negotiation and peacemaking—one that lays the foundation for this book:

Even seemingly impossible deadlocks and conflicts can be resolved if we shed the assumption that our only sources of leverage are money and muscle.

This is especially important to keep in mind when you are dealing with a situation that seems hopeless. When even your most generous offers are being rejected, when your well-intentioned attempts at addressing the issues are being thwarted, and when you have little power with which to impose a solution, you need a different approach and other sources of leverage. This book provides such an approach and reveals those sources of leverage.

THREE WAYS TO NEGOTIATE THE IMPOSSIBLE

Some negotiations are easy. Others are more difficult. And then there are situations that seem downright impossible. These are ones in which you have little power and limited options. These are times when conflict is escalating, deadlock is worsening, and no one is willing to back down. These are situations where people are behaving in ways that seem irrational—or worse, with clearly hostile intent. These are problems without precedent, where even vast experience offers limited guidance.

But these are also the cases that, when handled skillfully, will become the stuff of legend.
This book is about such negotiations: deadlocked deals and ugly disputes that seemed completely hopeless. Until, that is, someone found a way to beat the odds without money or muscle. What might we learn from these stories and from those who lived them?

As anyone who has dealt with deadlock or conflict will attest, some of the hardest situations to resolve are those where your attempts at negotiating in good faith have failed and where you don’t have the resources or power to bargain effectively. The reason people lose hope and begin to see the situation as impossible is that they have already tried their best to address the substance of the dispute—they simply have no more money or muscle left. But what if there were other levers you could use?

In this book, we will focus on three crucial levers that negotiators often ignore, underestimate, or mismanage, especially when they are accustomed to thinking of power in terms of money and muscle:

• The Power of Framing
• The Power of Process
• The Power of Empathy

In my teaching and advisory work with thousands of business executives and company owners, I have heard countless tales of deal makers who were negotiating against the odds. In my work for governments and policy makers who are trying to negotiate with terrorists and armed insurgents, I have many times encountered the feeling of despair that comes from tackling the seemingly impossible. And, in my observations of even ordinary conflicts of everyday life, I have seen people struggle with how to manage hostile people, difficult situations, and thorny issues. In all of these places, people sometimes make a bad situation worse—or a difficult problem seem impossible—by pinning their hopes on money and muscle and failing to appreciate the power of framing, process, and empathy.

What insights might we share with people who are dealing with nasty conflicts in business, policy, diplomacy, or everyday life? What lessons might they learn from the most harrowing case of nuclear brinkmanship in world history? How might they emulate a young man of little clout or stature who managed to dominate one of the most important meetings of the last millennium? What might they take from the text of the most ancient peace treaty known to be in existence? What principles might they glean from comparing multibillion-dollar sports conflicts that were handled masterfully with those that ended in disaster? And what strategies might they borrow from a wide variety of high-stakes business disputes and deadlocks that were overcome without flexing muscle or throwing money at the problem?

The premise of the book is simple: there is much to be learned from situations in which people negotiated the “impossible.” First, the stories themselves—from history, diplomacy, business, sports, and popular culture—are inherently interesting, and readers will learn about how people lived and fought and negotiated in times and places both near and distant from where we sit today. Second, the stories offer tangible lessons that can be applied by anyone who is dealing with his or her own conflict or deadlock, whether it is seemingly impossible or more ordinary. Throughout, I give examples of how the lessons could be applied in other domains—ranging from job offers, to business deals, to personal relationships, to negotiating with your children, to engaging with terrorists. Finally, if we were to strip this book of all its trappings, frameworks, and organizational structure, we would find that it is, at the core, a book about human beings trying their best to get along with each other in situations that are not always easy. My hope is that the book instills optimism and provides another lens through which the reader can begin to appreciate the sometimes puzzling, occasionally disappointing or even exasperating, yet often inspiring thing we call humanity.

RETHINKING “NEGOTIATION”

Before going any further, I will define negotiation as it is used in this book. In my experience, it is possible to think too narrowly about what negotiation is, what it entails, and when it is relevant—whereas I mean to use the word in its broadest possible sense. Too often, when people hear the word “negotiation,”...

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Verlag
Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Erscheinungsdatum
2016
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
1626566976
ISBN 13 
9781626566972
Einband
Gebundene Ausgabe
Auflage
1
Anzahl der Seiten
224
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Berrett-Koehler
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