Flip Your Script So You Won't Flop as a Boss

This book provides one overarching theme for new leaders to be the boss everyone wants to work for: Flip your script. I believe you can truly be the boss everyone wants to work for if you are willing to flip your script.

First, let's be clear on what a script is. Think about a play, musical, movie, or television show you've watched. It was scripted. It used written text to guide the performance. And you know those scripts; you can spot them a mile away in romantic comedies, Shakespearean plays, Greek tragedies, thrillers, or dramas. You could probably write the script about these people: the third wheel; the bridesmaid who is never the bride; the party-like-a-rock-star, wicked-funny, good-looking hero; the devious villain; the jock; the nerd who gets the girl in the end; the wallflower who was beautiful all along. These people do what they are supposed to do, act the way they are supposed to act, and live the way they are expected to because of the scripts that are written for them by writers.

But scripts aren't just for jocks, nerds, villains, heroes, and heroines on stage and screen. We all have scripts in our lives. In your own life, you write your own script and live your life based on what your script says about the various roles you have: parent, child, partner, spouse, sibling, community activist.

Your script helps you understand who you are and how to live. It's what is expected of you. When you write your own script, you provide details about how you are supposed to think; what you are supposed to do; how you should act, feel, relate with others; how you should view the world; and how you should view yourself. Scripts help us understand our roles and our purpose.

The Individual Contributor Script and a Breakup Line

At work, you definitely live by a script. Oddly enough, the script of a successful individual contributor reminds me a lot of that old breakup line many of us have used — or, like me, heard all too often — when someone's about to get dumped. You know the one: "It's not you; it's me."

So what does that breakup line have to do with the script of an individual contributor, you may ask? Well, have you ever noticed where the spotlight and center of attention is when someone uses that "It's not you; it's me" breakup line?

Not you. Me.

No doubt, many successful individual contributors and technical experts shine the spotlight, not on "you," but on "me, myself, and I" to get success. The script usually goes something like this:

Keep my head down. Work harder than everyone else. Push to get things accomplished. Rely on my technical skill, knowledge, resourcefulness, and unparalleled effort to get ahead. Do my job and do it well. That's how I will separate myself from everyone else and become a subject matter expert and well respected at work. That's how I get rewards and recognition. That's how I will get ahead.

The script is the reason individual contributors get promoted into their first managerial role:

I got promoted to my first managerial role because of my dedication, my drive, my initiative, my work ethic, my technical skills, and the accomplishments I made that directly contributed to the success of the team and organization.

It's all about "me, myself, and I" as an individual contributor. That "me" mentality is at the heart of the script of individual contributors, technical experts, and professionals everywhere. And we've been living this script ever since we can remember, even as kids, to get ahead, to get attention, to outshine everyone. Focusing on "me" and "my" talents, knowledge, efforts, and unique set of skills and abilities brought awards, accolades, recognition, and approval. It made us successful in our educational endeavors and in extracurricular activities. And at work, that's how we became valuable and successful individual contributors, subject matter experts, and well-known professionals in our organization, if not more broadly.

The script works, and there's nothing wrong with it for individual contributors and technical experts. And because the script worked for us before, we think it should work as new leaders. Why wouldn't it? Like the saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

But here's the problem. Many times in life, the situation changes, and we neglect to alter our scripts to be successful in that new situation. So we keep living that same script each and every day, not knowing that it just doesn't work. That's why I think many new leaders stumble from the start. What so many new leaders have come to know (oftentimes too late to do anything about it) is that success in that new boss role is no longer defined by "It's not you; it's me."

Yes, the script for an individual contributor ain't broke. But it won't work for a new leader. The script of a boss that everyone wants to work for is different.

So What Must You Do? Flip Your Script

The script for individual contributors is all about "me" and "my" own abilities, achievements, technical expertise, and personal desire to get ahead. That's not necessarily a bad thing; having ambition and seeking personal excellence are worthy traits. It's perfectly normal for us to be motivated to succeed and do well in life. It's the reason individual contributors were promoted into leadership in the first place.

But to be a successful leader, to transition from a technical expert to a leader of people, you must be willing to shed the "individual contributor" role that got you the promotion to leadership in the first place and stop shining the spotlight on "me, myself, and I." You must want to change, truly believe that you can change, and be 100 percent committed to change. Actually, strike the word change — -flip is a better word than change. You must want to flip, truly believe that you can flip, and be 100 percent committed to flip your script. I believe you can truly be the boss everyone wants to work for, if you are willing to do this.

So what does "flip your script" mean?

Well, you know the script of an individual contributor. It's like that old breakup line: "It's not you; it's me."

To be the boss everyone wants to work for, flip it:

"It's not about me anymore."

Flip your script from "me" to "we." Flip from a "me mentality" to putting attention on "we" and "us."

It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Maybe too simple. But you know as well as I do, it's so difficult to do. Just look around. So many of us see (and work with) leaders...