Behind the Butt Plate Living the GI Life

1st CivDiv

Mythical military formation Marines join when they leave the Corps and reenter civilian life: "1st Civilian Division."

A-Farts

Ad hoc acronym for American Forces Radio and Television Service, which broadcasts to U.S. armed forces — in camps, on ships, everywhere — worldwide.

Anymouse

On board U.S. Navy ships, the name for the lockbox in which sailors are welcome to drop anonymous suggestions.

Army Crimes

What GIs call Army Times, the official weekly periodical published by the army "for their benefit." Alternatively, the publication is known as Army Slimes.

Asshole buddy

One's best, most trusted friend, comrade, and confidant. There is no sexual connotation whatsoever. Asshole buddy is a prime example of a dysphemism, the polar opposite of euphemism. Whereas euphemism pretties up an ugly situation or concept with a mild word — "independent thinker" to describe an obstinate moron — dysphemism uglies up a desirable situation or concept with an unpleasant word. This is typical usage of language in the rank-and-file American military.

Attaboy

A reward given to an individual soldier, sailor, airman, or marine or to an entire unit for a job well done. The reward in question might be nothing more than a word of praise from the commanding officer, a weekend pass, or a special treat at mess. Cynical commanders often use the expression petting the animals as an alternative to attaboy.

Baboon ass

Rumor has it that the U.S. Navy serves the finest cuisine of any military in the world. Sailors who've eaten USN corned beef, a staple they call baboon ass in the service, will tell you otherwise.

Bag of smashed asshole

Used to describe (generally to his face) a soldier whose uniform is sloppy, dirty, wrinkled, or in some other way grossly unsatisfactory. "Private Pyle, you look like a bag of smashed asshole." By extension, the phrase is sometimes applied to anything — a building, a vehicle, a weapon, a piece of machinery — that is damaged or worn out.

Balls

Beyond the obvious, this is a term for midnight as it appears on a twenty-four-hour digital clock: 0000. "I'm on post from balls to ten."

Bare-ass

Universal GI pronunciation of barracks. "See you in the bareass, Sarge."

Barney Clark

In a U.S. Navy shipboard mess, a slider (small hamburger) topped with a fried egg. ("Gimme a couple of those Barney Clarks!") The etymology of the phrase is obscure in the extreme. Barney Clark (1921 — 1983) was a retired dentist who received a permanent pneumatic total artificial heart designed by Dr. Robert Jarvik and implanted on December 2, 1982, by cardiac surgeon Dr. William DeVries. When implanted, the most advanced and familiar version of the Jarvik heart — the Jarvik 7 — created a prominent circular bulge under the skin of the chest, apparently suggesting to the vivid imagination of hungry sailors the shape of the egg-topped slider.

Behind the butt plate

What a grunt just back from the front lines traditionally answered when asked where he'd been. The butt plate is a metal or rubber strip that reinforces the butt of a rifle stock. If you're behind it, the rifle is in front of you, with its business end pointed toward the enemy.

Bends and motherfuckers

Squat thrusts done by recruits during PT (physical training). The routine is this: stand, squat, place hands on ground, thrust feet back, do a push-up, return to squat, return to stand — and repeat until the DI (drill instructor) is exhausted (from yelling).

Bib

The rectangular piece of cloth that hangs from the back of the neck of the uniform of the U.S. Navy enlisted sailor is called a bib. This is not intended as a slur, but dates to the era of wood and sails, when ordinary seamen generally wore their hair long, braiding it and dipping it in tar (used to treat rigging and to seal planks on ship) to keep it from getting caught in block, tackle, and other rigging machinery. When given liberty ashore, a sailor would fashion a "bib" from sackcloth and tie it around his neck to keep the tar off his shirt. The practice became so universal that U.S. Navy command adopted the bib as an official feature of the regulation uniform.

Big PX in the Sky, the

Tongue-in-cheek evocation of heaven. "PX" stands for Post Exchange, an on-base store in which many of life's little luxuries can be bought more or less on the cheap. This phrase is related to, but must not be confused with, Land of the Big PX, a synonym for the United States, typically used by service members stationed far from home.

Blue Dick, the

Personification of the U.S. Navy. "Two weeks in port and no liberty! The Blue Dick strikes again."

BOHICA

U.S. Navy acronym signifying Bend Over, Here It Comes Again and used when a highly disagreeable order, assignment, outcome, or situation unsurprisingly recurs. Seaman Doe: "What? Another day of rust-scraping detail!" Seaman Joe:

"BOHICA!"

Brain housing group U.S. Air Force pilot's pseudo-technical term for the human skull.

Brown Shoe

Coined in World War II, when U.S. Navy aviators and submariners wore khaki uniforms with brown cordovan leather shoes, the term continues to be verbal shorthand for those personnel. In contrast, a Black Shoe is any U.S. Navy sailor or officer who does not serve on a sub or fly an airplane (and who, back in World War II, would therefore have worn a navy blue uniform with black oxfords).

Bucket of steam

Something seasoned sailors send raw U.S. Navy recruits (and sometimes brand-new ensigns) to fetch on their maiden voyage. This is similar to the order to "Fire a polka-dot flare!"

Bumfuck, Egypt

Generic name for any undesirable duty station in the U.S. Navy.

Bush hanky

Press the side of the nose with a finger, bend over, blow hard, and you have a bush hanky: a technique for expelling mucus without the use of a handkerchief (because you have none), your sleeve, or a bandana. The product of a bush hanky is known as a bush oyster.

Button chopper

GI laundry detergent, which, apparently, is scientifically formulated to dissolve clothing, buttons and all. "Throw some more of that button chopper in the wash, would you? I got inspection tomorrow...