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Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Cancer Diagnosis: 100 Practical Ideas for Coping, Surviving, and Thriving (100 Ideas Series) - Softcover

Buch 3 von 7: The 100 Ideas

Wolfelt, Alan D., Ph.D.; Duvall, Kirby J., M.d.

 
9781617222009: Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Cancer Diagnosis: 100 Practical Ideas for Coping, Surviving, and Thriving (100 Ideas Series)
Softcover
ISBN 10: 1617222003 ISBN 13: 9781617222009
Verlag: Companion Press,US, 2014

Inhaltsangabe

According to the American Cancer Society, more than one million people get cancer in the United States each year. The diagnosis is often a major physical, emotional, social, and spiritual blow, capable of shaking patients to their core. This empathetic guide coauthored by cancer survivor Dr. Alan Wolfelt helps individuals understand and cope with the many difficult thoughts and feelings to which a cancer diagnosis can give rise, assisting them as they find ways to experience peace and joy throughout their journey. Among the 100 ideas for surviving and thriving in this book are those that explain the basic principles of grief and mourning and how they apply to a life-altering, life-threatening, or terminal medical diagnosis. Others offer instantaneous, in-the-moment suggestions of things that cancer patients can do immediately in order to express their grief and live with meaning in each moment. This book is a calming companion for people battling cancer and their loved ones.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, is a speaker, a grief counselor, and the director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. He is the author of Healing a Parent's Grieving Heart, Understanding Your Grief, and many other bestselling books on healing in grief. Kirby J. Duvall, MD, is a physician board-certified in family practice and occupational medicine. Together with Dr. Wolfelt, he is coauthor of Healing After Job Loss, Healing Your Grieving Body, and Healing Your Grieving Heart When Someone You Care About Has Alzheimer's. They both live in Fort Collins, Colorado.

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Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Cancer Diagnosis

100 Practical Ideas for Coping, Surviving, and Thriving

By Alan D. Wolfelt, Kirby J. Duvall

Center for Loss and Life Transition

Copyright © 2014 Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. and Kirby J. Duvall, M.D.
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-61722-200-9

Contents

Introduction, 
100 Ideas, 
1. Understand the difference between grief and mourning, 
2. Allow for numbness, 
3. Take an inventory, 
4. Give yourself permission to grieve and mourn, 
5. Love yourself, 
6. Focus on first things first, 
7. Keep a journal, 
8. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #1. Acknowledge the reality of your diagnosis and prognosis, 
9. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #2. Embrace the pain of your losses, 
10. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #3. Remember your past, 
11. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #4. Incorporate cancer into your self-identity, 
12. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #5. Search for meaning, 
13. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need #6. Receive ongoing support from others, 
14. Practice patience, 
15. Understand what it means to be "traumatized", 
16. Nurture hope, 
17. Be kind to your body, 
18. Express your spirituality, 
19. Schedule something that gives you pleasure each and every day, 
20. Learn to check in with yourself, 
21. Make an inventory of survival strategies, 
22. Eat well to stay strong, 
23. Yield to silence and solitude ..., 
24. ... but do not withdraw altogether, 
25. Be on your own team, 
26. Be honest with the children, 
27. Lean to meditate, 
28. Sleep well, 
29. Enjoy green tea, 
30. Mourn hair loss, too, 
31. Visualize, 
32. Break the silence, 
33. Move, 
34. Keep down excess weight, 
35. Take a deep breath, 
36. Know that you are loved, 
37. Set your intention on optimism, 
38. Honor the Before and the After, 
39. Don't be alarmed by mood swings, 
40. Befriend your fear, 
41. If you feel helpless, talk about it, 
42. If you feel angry, talk about it, 
43. If you feel guilty, talk about it, 
44. If you feel stuck, talk about it, 
45. Eat dessert first ... and last, 
46. Make love a habit, 
47. Hold that hug for 20 seconds, 
48. Get familiar with online resources, 
49. Find new ways to be intimate, 
50. Know the signs of clinical depression, 
51. Find encouraging people, 
52. Connect with animals, 
53. Tell the story, over and over again if you feel the need, 
54. If you have questions, ask them, 
55. Take things one day at a time, 
56. Drink enough water, 
57. Find bits of beauty in each day, 
58. Try Vitamin C, 
59. Spend time in "thin places", 
60. Calm chronic inflammation, 
61. Say what you need to say, 
62. Consider complementary therapies, 
63. Simplify your life, 
64. Relieve muscle tension with massage, 
65. Laugh, 
66. Cry, 
67. Take a five-minute spirit break, 
68. Cultivate resilience, 
69. Write letters to be read on a future date, 
70. Tap into your intuition, 
71. Get enough vitamin D, 
72. Drink fresh-squeezed juice, 
73. Don't be alarmed by "griefbursts", 
74. Live in the Now, 
75. Seek out a spiritual advisor, 
76. Mend fences, 
77. Sigh, 
78. Beware the nocebo effect, 
79. Celebrate World Cancer Day, 
80. Be mindful of anniversaries, 
81. Plant a tree, 
82. Pray, 
83. Make time for music, 
84. Reassess your priorities, 
85. Wear prayer beads, 
86. Watch for warning signs, 
87. Go easy on people who say stupid things, 
88. Clear the clutter, 
89. Make a "bad news" plan, 
90. Wrangle worry, 
91. Catch the bounce, 
92. Live with gratitude and count your blessings, 
93. Hammer out your hopes, 
94. Make goals and plans that have nothing to do with cancer, 
95. Give yourself up to grief, 
96. Beware the snake oil salesman, 
97. If your cancer is recurring, chronic, or terminal, 
98. Unwrap the gifts of cancer, 
99. Understand that your grief will never end, 
100. Believe in your capacity to heal and grow through grief, 
Our Prayer for You, 
The Cancer Mourner's Bill of Rights,


CHAPTER 1

1.

UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEF AND MOURNING


"What happens when people open their hearts? They get better."

— Haruki Murakami

• Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we experience when we lose something or someone we care about. Grief is the weight in the chest, the churning in the gut, the unspeakable thoughts and feelings.

• Mourning is the outward expression of our grief. Mourning is crying, journaling, creating artwork, talking to others, telling the story, speaking the unspeakable.

• Here's a way to remember which is which: The "i" in grief stands for what I feel inside. The "u" in mourn reminds me to share my grief with you.

• Everyone grieves when they are affected by life's challenges, but if we are to heal emotionally and spiritually, we must also mourn. Over time, and with the support of others, to mourn is to heal.

• Many of the ideas in this book are intended to help you mourn the natural and necessary grief that has resulted from your cancer diagnosis and ongoing treatment.


CARPE DIEM

Ask yourself this question: Have I been mourning my cancer, or have I mostly been restricting myself to grieving?

2.

ALLOW FOR NUMBNESS


"There is a feeling of disbelief that comes over you, that takes over, and you kind of go through the motions. You do what you're supposed to do, but in fact you're not there at all."

— Frederick Barthelme

• Did you feel numb and in shock in the days and weeks right after your cancer diagnosis? I know I did and sometimes still do.

• Feelings of shock, numbness, and disbelief are nature's way of temporarily protecting us from the full force of a painful reality. Like anesthesia, these feelings help us survive the pain of our early grief. Be thankful for numbness.

• We often think, "I will wake up and this will not have happened." Early mourning can feel like being in a dream. Your emotions need time to catch up with what your mind has been told.

• Cancer typically requires many, many doctors' visits and tests and procedures. This means that at the same time you are feeling numb and not thinking well, you are being given lots of complex information and sometimes have to make difficult decisions based on your understanding of that information. Ask a friend or family member to accompany you to appointments, take notes, and help you decide.


CARPE DIEM

If you're feeling numb, cancel any optional commitments that require concentration and decision-making. Allow yourself time to regroup. Find a "safe haven" that you might be able to retreat to for a few days.

3.

TAKE AN INVENTORY


"The minute someone tells you you have cancer, it's kind of like you die. You really do die. It's like you get that you're mortal."

— Eve Ensler

• When you were diagnosed with cancer, you lost not only your health (at least somewhat and temporarily) but so much more.

• You may have lost your hold on your hopes and dreams...

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Verlag
Companion Press,US
Erscheinungsdatum
2014
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
1617222003
ISBN 13 
9781617222009
Einband
Taschenbuch
Anzahl der Seiten
110
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Verantwortliche Person
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