Smiling Again: Coming Back to Life and Faith After Brain Surgery - Softcover

Stap, Sally

 
9781614487968: Smiling Again: Coming Back to Life and Faith After Brain Surgery

Inhaltsangabe

“When I woke up. . .I quickly became aware that gliding through brain surgery recovery was not the big plan. Pain, paralysis, and single-sided deafness loomed ahead.”
Sally Stap was in the midst of a busy and successful 25-year career in Information Technology, juggling the usual concerns about job, daughters, and life, when the unthinkable happened: she was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma, a benign but large brain tumor.
Written with a poignant blend of honesty, dry humor, faith, and inquisitiveness, Smiling Again is a story of the persistence of life and beauty in spite of pain. Sally recounts the shock of diagnosis, a long and painful recovery from invasive brain surgery, her eventual retirement due to disability, and ultimately contentment and acceptance of a new life journey.
For caregivers and survivors, Sally shares practical lessons and tips that will help you find your own signposts of faith along a treacherous but ultimately exhilarating journey, including:
- Be optimistic, but don’t discount possible outcomes just because they don’t sound fun.
- Allow yourself to grieve because there is a new you.  
- A sense of humor will give you a better temperament than frustration.
Whether you are a brain tumor survivor or are facing another experience that has brought you to the end of yourself, Sally’s experience shows that even when the worst happens, God is present and visible in sometimes unexpected ways. The future you may not be the same as the old you, but it can lead you in new and rewarding directions.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Sally Stap is a writer living in Michigan. She began her writing career after brain surgery and a long, ongoing recovery brought her Information Technology career to a halt. During her years as an IT consultant, Sally published magazine articles on outsourcing and pharmaceutical regulatory issues and spent a considerable part of her career interpreting information technology jargon for business organizations through written documentation and oral presentations. Struggling with head pain, facial paralysis, and single-sided deafness, she turned to writing to capture her experience. Her right brain, subservient to her left brain throughout her career, now regularly finds a voice through writing, as Sally strives to interpret her emotions and experiences through words.
Sally is a member of the Kalamazoo Christian Writer's critique group and the Wordweavers and FaithWriters organizations near her home in Michigan.

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Smiling Again

Coming Back to Life and Faith after Brain Surgery

By Sally Stap

Morgan James Publishing

Copyright © 2014 Sally Stap
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-61448-796-8

Contents

Introduction: Waking to a Nightmare,
Chapter 1 A Diagnosis from Left Field,
Chapter 2 Delivering Big News,
Chapter 3 Waiting for Answers,
Chapter 4 Taking in Mayo Clinic,
Chapter 5 The Blog Begins,
Chapter 6 Final Prep,
Chapter 7 Heading into the Fire,
Chapter 8 Mayo Days: Monday,
Chapter 9 Mayo Days: Tuesday,
Chapter 10 Mayo Days: Wednesday,
Chapter 11 Mayo Days: Thursday,
Chapter 12 Mayo Days: Friday,
Chapter 13 Mayo Days: The Weekend,
Chapter 14 Mayo Days: Monday,
Chapter 15 Hello, World,
Chapter 16 Things to Be Thankful For,
Chapter 17 Two Steps Forward, One Step Back,
Chapter 18 The Philosopher Speaks,
Chapter 19 Michigan Winter,
Chapter 20 The New Year Arrives,
Chapter 21 Waiting for Healing,
Chapter 22 Return to Mayo at Three Months,
Chapter 23 A Typical Day with Headaches,
Chapter 24 Moving Forward and Rejoining Life,
Chapter 25 One Tiny Movement,
Chapter 26 An Eye-Opening Symposium,
Chapter 27 Addressing Facial Synkinesis,
Chapter 28 It's Only the Beginning,
Chapter 29 Return to the Woods 162,
Epilogue,
Appendix 1 Timeline,
Appendix 2 Caregiver Tips,
Acknowledgments,
About the Author,
Acknowledgments,
About the Author,


CHAPTER 1

A Diagnosis from Left Field


Let's back up a bit. I grew up in a little Michigan town with dreams of not much more than getting by in life. While bouncing around, trying to decide what to do with my life, I discovered computer programming at the community college. It was love at first sight and I dove in, never looking back. With a degree in computer science from Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, I accepted a job at The Upjohn Company, the place to work at the time. I loved technology and built my own computer, from motherboard to modem card, shortly after PCs came into the world. I was a geek.

I spent many years in corporate information technology (IT) as a programmer and advanced into management. When car phones came out, I immediately had one bolted to the console of my little Subaru. It was heavily used. As mobile phones advanced, I always acquired the latest technology as soon as possible. I talked on the phone almost daily as it allowed me extra work time while getting to or from work. I traveled a lot during my career and again depended on mobile technology in an attempt to "do it all."

Technology allowed me to squeeze more time out of each day. It was always my goal to be home for dinner and evening activities as my two daughters grew up. It was in the Kalamazoo area that I married, raised kids, divorced, and focused on my career. In late 2003, my job was phased out in a corporate merger. I went home and didn't know what to do. I couldn't do nothing — I didn't know how.

After a few restless months off, I moved to Princeton, New Jersey, for a job that eventually led to me joining a consulting firm, The W Group, based in Philadelphia. It was a wonderful opportunity, and I loved what I did. I traveled extensively to assist corporations in optimizing IT spending decisions. I spent most Mondays in airports heading somewhere and Thursday evenings returning home. If local, I spent hours in the car driving to clients in the Philadelphia area.

For a few years, I had been experiencing ringing in my ears. While driving from Princeton to Philadelphia daily, I began to notice I could hear my cell phone better if held to my left ear. Following an eighteen-month assignment for a Philadelphia area client, I commuted to southern California weekly for seven months for my next assignment. I invested in Bose noise-cancelling headphones to protect my ears from frequent air travel noise. I noticed when I got home at the end of each week after taking the redeye flight, listening to Jim Brickman and Jimmy Buffett on my Blackberry, my ears would be ringing louder for the weekend.

I meant to ask my doctor about it at my annual physical, but would forget. I assumed I would be told it was just due to my age and frequent travel. I tried a few over-the-counter remedies to no avail. Each year, I would make a mental note to ask again the following year.

In November 2007, I moved back to Michigan, to be closer to family. I started commuting weekly to Philadelphia for a long-term project assisting with vendor management. It was a busy but good routine, and I loved the work I was doing. I leased an apartment in the Philadelphia area to eliminate the need to carry luggage weekly. It was a great little apartment, and I settled in quickly. I loved my life. I was doing what I had dreamed of — consulting, traveling, adding value.

In early 2008, my right eye started watering. Sometimes both eyes watered. I started to have a strange sensation on my face. Even when my right eye wasn't watering, it felt like it was. I started to feel like the right corner of my mouth was drooling. It wasn't, but the sensation was always there. I blamed herbal facial products I was using, so I started switching products. It would improve for a while and then return. It had to be something I was doing in my routine!

I failed to gain any improvement in my hearing despite over-the-counter products, headphones, and even ear candling. I definitely had less hearing in the right ear. It wasn't just ringing, and it wasn't just road noise. I did research on the Internet and didn't find much, but I learned that sometimes the three little bones in the ear are messed up. I also heard sometimes calcium builds up in the ear. So I decided to get a hearing test to determine if there really was a difference and to have a baseline for later in life when I might need a hearing aid.

I went to a hearing center at the end of July to have my hearing tested. The audiologist asked me if I had any numbness on my face. I immediately said no because I hadn't connected my facial sensations to numbness. I sat in a grey soundproof booth, with wires coming from each ear. I saw the audiologist and clearly heard his prompts in each ear. I noticed I heard more sounds in my left ear than my right one. Afterward, as I looked at the audiology report showing a definite difference between the lines representing my two ears, the audiologist explained that travel and age should affect both ears equally. I had a marked difference in the right ear. He recommended I see an earnose-throat specialist (ENT) because it could be something treatable, or even something as serious as a brain tumor.

While I was confident I didn't have a brain tumor, I did take his advice to have it further checked out. In the car going home, it struck me that the weird sensations on my face could be described as numbness — a numbness I had dismissed as insignificant. A strange feeling in my gut started to develop.


Clues from the Past

I didn't allow myself to think it could be a brain tumor. In the past, I had let my imagination get the better of me when waiting for test results and didn't want to do that again. Slowly, over time, I started to remember things, seemingly insignificant at the time, from the past. In 2001, I had strange little bursts of pinging sounds in my brain and wondered. Around the same time, I went to the doctor with severe vertigo and was told I was suffering effects of flying. For several...

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