Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan: Do It Right and Be Polite! - Softcover

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Amy Chavez has lived in Japan for 25 years, and is proprietor of the Moooo! Bar & Cafe on Shiraishi Island in the Inland Sea, where she helps tourists with reservations, language support, and cultural guidance. She has lived in Japan for 25 years and writes about cultural differences between Japan and the West for the Japan Times, Huffpo, and RocketNews24.

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The genkan--Or, the holy entryway

Everyone knows to take off their shoes before entering a Japanese house. Yet, few people do it properly. What could be improper about taking your shoes off? Plenty. "I could write 200 pages on how to take your shoes off in the genkan," rails my friend who is a Kyoto tour guide. "The point is," she pants, "that your feet never touch the dirty genkan floor before stepping into the house." In other words, you step out of your shoes and into the house, rather than taking off your shoes, putting your unshod foot on the genkan floor, then stepping into the house. This can be a little tricky if you balance isn't very good, but in that case, just apologize and sit on the step to take your shoes off.

The Tipping Point

Japan is not a tipping country. Yet people do tip. Like everything else in Japan, there is a proper way to do it. But don't tell the waiter to keep the change. Don't leave money on the bar top for the bartender. And please don't tip the bellhop. So, who tips? Regular customers who are loyal to a particular establishment. Tipping comes from the geisha world and the less sophisticated "hostess bar" trade. Men bring gifts to their favorite geisha or bar hostesses. They may lavish them with fancy name-brand goods such as Louis Vuiton, Chanel or Prada. They take them on outings to high class restaurants. In turn, they are overcharged for their drinks by the establishment, in what is a cozy pre-determined arrangement. Men are happy to oblige. No need to leave a tip, you see. And nowadays, there are some host bars for women to frequent and lavish attention on the male hosts.

At my small bar on the beach, I've been a recipient of many tips, among them a brand new air conditioner. Another customer gifts us cases of local wine which he insists we sell. Make a profit! he demands. Yet another ex-company president comes for one drink once a month, and each time pays with a 10,000 yen note and insists I keep the change. This is tipping in Japan.

"It never hurts to ask" but, don't ask!

Omotenashi dictates that Japanese hosts must do everything possible to make their guests comfortable. Therefore, they will go out of their way, even jump tall buildings, to provide what you ask for. To keep your poor host sane, try to minimize petty grievances or requests. "I wish I'd brought my light pink nail polish" may seem like an insignificant observation said on the end of a exhalation, but your Japanese guest is hearing, "Would you mind going to the trouble to buy me, or find somewhere, maybe even ask your friends, if they have any light pink nail polish?" Suggestions that a room is hot or cold, will send them flying off their seats to adjust the air conditioner. Japanese people know not to let all of their feelings known, so that they can spare their poor hosts who will feel obliged to appease them. Refrain from any request that starts with, "If you don't have it that's fine, but..." or "You can say no if you want but... can I.....?" because Japanese protocol dictates that they cannot say no, so if they don't have "it" will feel obliged to go get "it" for you. I can't tell you how many Japanese people have driven down to the nearest convenience store to get "it" (toothpaste, bottled water, throat lozenges, etc because they didn't have what their guest requested).

Taking photos

The Japanese themselves are famous for taking photos of everything, so for the most part, you needn't worry about whether you can take photos or not. However, for photos that will be published somewhere, even on a blog, you'll need permission from any person who appears in the photo. As a result, you'll often see Japanese blog posts that mosaic people's faces so they can't be identified or so the blog won't be challenged legally. In addition, always ask before taking photos inside temples or shrines as some images are considered too sacred to be photographed. Public places usually have a "No photos" sign. If you're unsure, ask: Shashin o totte ii desuka?

When taking photos of people, please be aware of the status of individuals. The easiest way to do this is to leave the line up order to the Japanese, who will automatically line everyone up according to age and status. The main thing to remember is to put the highest status person in the middle. In most cases, since you are the guest, you will be given the highest status and someone will physically drag you into the middle of the photo. Think of wedding photos in your own country where the happy couple is always in the middle of the photo, with family or friends around them. In Japan, every photo is like a wedding photo.