Chapter One

What’s a Love System?

They come from miles—sometimes thousands of miles—away. They enter a hotel conference room unsure and nervous about what is going to happen for the next three days. They hope that their life is about to change for the better. They have come to find the answers to their dreams.

At a Love Systems bootcamp.

There’s an excellent chance that you never knew these bootcamps existed before you opened this book. You probably had no idea that on every weekend of the year, groups of men come together to learn your secrets from professional pick-up artists and dating coaches. Or that these men regularly spend thousands of dollars for three days and two nights of expert training on the art and science of meeting and attracting women—with a success rate of over 99 percent.

If you’re not shocked yet, don’t worry; it gets better. A large portion of each bootcamp is taught “live”—at bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, malls, and anywhere else where attractive women can be found. Instructors approach and pick up women to demonstrate how the system works. Clients watch and learn, and then they’re the ones approaching and picking up while instructors observe and coach them.

In other words, those guys who hit on you at the bar last night or who flirted with you at the mall last weekend—those might have been chance encounters. Or maybe these men were practicing Love Systems on you, while others watched and prepared to critique their every move. Now you know. Don’t you feel better?

Actually, you probably should. I’m not telling you any of this to make you paranoid. In fact, the reason why I’m letting you know about it is also one of the major reasons I decided to write this book. There is so much misinformation about how dating and attraction really works. As I’ll explain in the next few chapters, what people think they want and what they think they respond to in a romantic and/or sexual context is not always what they actually want and respond to. You’ll probably be shocked by some of what we tell men to do to succeed with women—not because I’m deliberately trying to shock you, but because a lot of what actually works can be quite counterintuitive. You won’t find the stuff we teach in most men’s magazines or mainstream books. But it is effective.

We didn’t deliberately set out to challenge conventional wisdom—it’s just where reality led us. Love Systems was developed through trial and error on a massive scale. We had no preconceived ideas. We’re not troubled by what “should” work or what would be “nice” or really anything other than what actually helps average guys to attract the women who interest them. I want to share some of these techniques with you, because I think if we can unravel how and why attraction works—without flinching and without political correctness—both men and women can make better decisions about how they approach dating and relationships. And I think that will improve everyone’s dating life.

GOING INSIDE

Bootcamps are three days long, usually Friday through Sunday. All three days begin in a hotel conference room with instructors teaching the Love Systems approach. During this seminar time, we run a lot of drills, like “Approaching and Transitioning,” “Teasing and Bantering,” and “Body Language.” These interactive exercises—which are all more or less what they sound like—allow clients to practice their skills and make corrections in a low-pressure classroom-type situation. But we need to get clients up to speed quickly, because they’ll be going out with us on both Friday and Saturday night for several hours of live infield training. This is the part of our bootcamp during which—if you happen to be at one of our infield locations—you might be approached by Love Systems clients and/or instructors, who will flirt with you and try to pick you up in order to practice or demonstrate Love Systems techniques.

These programs are held every weekend, in multiple cities around the world. They all follow the same structure, with slight variations. (For example, Day Game programs do their infield training at malls, coffee shops, and pedestrian areas.) A typical program has between six and twelve clients, a set of instructors—at least one for every three clients—and usually some instructors-in-training.

Now let’s break it down…

Seminar

We usually start bootcamps by asking clients what they’re looking for out of their dating life. As we’ll cover in more detail later in this chapter, most men express one of three broad goals. Some have never had much luck with women, so they’re looking for that initial breakthrough. Others are looking for more options and better options. And others still want to improve their sex life and be able to go out any night and take a beautiful woman home. On a typical program, there may be one or two clients from the first and/or last group, with the majority usually made up of the “more options and better options” set. These initial conversations let us personalize the training program.

Once we’ve established goals, we introduce the overall Love Systems framework, called the Love Systems Triad. The Triad is based on what works with women in the real world—not what works in movies, TV, or romance novels. Not what would work if the world was a nicer, fairer place and everyone gave everyone else a chance. Not what well-meaning people say should work. We teach what our observations of over 100,000 approaches, pickups, and attempted pickups (more on this later) have shown gives a man the best chances of success.

It’s called the Triad because it is set up according to the three fundamental building blocks of dating or pickup success: Emotional Connection, Physical Connection, and Logistics. Each of these can be further divided into subcomponents, sub-subcomponents, and so on (see figure on page 7). The Triad is a powerful teaching tool because it is flexible: it can be used at a very simple level to get a man started with Love Systems, or it can be used at a very detailed and advanced level to troubleshoot issues for even very successful men. You can read a quick overview of the whole system at www.LoveSystems.com/Triad.

Infield

Infield training is what makes Love Systems different from just about everything that came before. Not only do clients learn the system, but they also practice it live under the eyes of expert trainers and instructors. They watch and listen as instructors demonstrate, also live, how to use individual techniques. The infield component holds Love Systems...