NAMING CUSTOMS

The Lord said ... you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.

— EXODUS 33:17B (NEB)

Bestowing a name on a child is one of our most important acts as parents, and through a naming ritual we can celebrate and bless our children. A blessing is an acknowledgment of the child's essential nature, the affirmation itself being a gift from the parent to the child. Some rituals are traditional, harkening back thousands of years, while others may be newly created just for this child and this family. Celebrations can take place in the hospital after birth, at home, out of doors, or in a church, mosque, temple, shrine, or any sacred or special setting. They can be done shortly after birth or when the child is old enough to exhibit unique qualities of his or her personality. This section includes but a few examples of such rituals, which serve as a reminder to take every opportunity to celebrate these special milestones.

AMERICAN INDIAN CUSTOMS

According to Wilma Mankiller (1945–2010): "Native Americans regard their names not as mere labels, but as essential parts of their personalities. A native person's name is as vital to his or her identity as the eyes or teeth." American Indian names describe the bearer in some way or tell of an event or action in which she or he took part. Wilma means "determined protector, steadfast guardian." The surname Mankiller refers to a traditional Cherokee military rank. According to Mankiller: "Cherokee women didn't have titled positions. The men had those. But the women had the Women's Council. They had a lot of control.... With the Iroquois the chief was a man, but the women chose the chief, they nurtured him, they installed him. Women could take him out." As the first woman chief of the Cherokee tribe, Mankiller was indeed a warrior woman who protected and guided her people. I find it fascinating that Wilma Mankiller's name was so appropriate to her mission and service in life.

Ella Deloria, a Dakota Sioux anthropologist, has stated: "In Dakota, you do not say ... 'What is your name' but, 'In what manner do they say you?' That means 'According to what deed are you known?'" American Indian children often receive a number of names throughout their lifetimes, such as birth names, early childhood names, puberty names, names upon the accomplishment of a major feat, names revealed in a dream, or names that will trick evil spirits if one is critically ill. Ceremonial names are usually kept secret; they are often symbolic, with meanings known only to a chosen few.

Some naming rituals include ear piercing or spirit dancing. In more ancient times, ear piercing was done by the Sioux during the first sun dance held after the child was able to walk. It was done by a man of the tribe through personal invitation of the family, and the man became the child's second father. In his book The Mystic Warriors of the Plains, Thomas Mails explains:

He made a solemn vow taking the child under his protection until one or the other had died. In the mind of the Indian, ear piercing played, in fact, a role very similar to Jewish circumcision and Christian baptism. In all the great ceremonies of the Sioux there was not one which bound two men together so strongly as this. The tie was even stronger than natural brotherhood, because the invited man had assumed a responsibility not placed on him by nature.

Tom Ration shares the following Navajo blessing:

Today we are blessed with this beautiful baby. May his feet be to the east; his right hand to the south; his head to the west; his left hand to the north. May he walk and dwell on Mother Earth peacefully.

HAWAIIAN CUSTOMS

Traditional Native Hawaiians carefully craft a new name for each child that contains significant meaning and thought. Names are of great importance to Hawaiians. A child receives his or her name from a parent, grandparent, or other close relative, and the given name is believed to influence the child's spiritual development. Children might be named after relatives, but names are not copied from other families.

A naming ceremony called the ho'ola'a is adapted from ancient Hawaiian tradition. The Hawaiian word ho'ola'a means "to consecrate, dedicate, or make sacred." In ancient Hawaii, the birth of a child, especially the firstborn male, was celebrated with a consecration ritual that invoked the presence of the family aumakua, or primordial guardian spirit, and was then celebrated with a feast. This act of dedication is an important rite because it acknowledges that an ohana (family) is willing to commit to the responsibility of rearing the child in love and affirms the child's spiritual connection to Ke Akua He (God) and with the spirit of aina or the land. This rite helps to "clear the way" for the child to walk the path of life under the care, protection, and guidance of the ohana, designated spiritual guides, and godparents.

AFRICAN CUSTOMS

Naming customs vary a great deal among cultures in Africa, although naming is itself taken very seriously. A Yoruban proverb states that a child's name influences his or her behavior, and a proverb from Zaire states that the name is the Spirit. Many Africans see names as carrying a specific function and destiny for a child.

In some tribes, the baby "chooses" his or her own name. While a list of names is recited, adults watch for the infant to respond to one with a smile, cry, sneeze, or other body movement. In other cultures, the baby is offered sticks inscribed with names; whichever stick the child grasps is the name she or he "chooses." Some Africans regard a chronically crying child as communicating displeasure with his or her name. A new name is therefore chosen.

In Ethiopia, fathers might fast until the appropriate name for his child comes to him. In West Africa, the Ashanti name their children according to the day of the week on which the child was born. A child born on Monday, for example, would be considered quiet and peaceful, while a Wednesday birth would mean a quick-tempered child.

In the United States, some African families perform the following naming ceremony: around a ritual table laden with foods and objects, a hymn is sung. Then a spiritual leader explains the symbolism of the foods and objects, offering each one to the baby and to the participants to taste or touch. The baby's name is announced, and his or her foot is touched to the ground, symbolizing that the first steps will be guided in the right direction. Prayers, poems, and hymns are then offered to bless and protect the baby and the family's living space.

CHINESE CUSTOMS

A Chinese proverb states that the beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. A "milk" name is given in a ceremony a month after the baby is born. The parents usually do not use this name, however; they refer to the...