Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

GOD OF OUR UNDERSTANDING

Ktav Publishing House, Inc.

Contents

Acknowledgments..........................................................................................................................................................................................ixJews, Addiction, and Recovery............................................................................................................................................................................xiiiSpiritual or Religious?..................................................................................................................................................................................xviiAs We Understood Him.....................................................................................................................................................................................xxiiiChapter 1—What Addiction Is Not....................................................................................................................................................................3Chapter 2—What Addiction Actually Is...............................................................................................................................................................13Chapter 3—Self-Consciousness and God-Consciousness.................................................................................................................................................23Chapter 4—How It Works (Not Why)...................................................................................................................................................................33Chapter 5—The Steps We Took........................................................................................................................................................................43Chapter 6—What Religion Is Recovery?...............................................................................................................................................................53Chapter 7—Power....................................................................................................................................................................................59Chapter 8—Goodness.................................................................................................................................................................................67Chapter 9—Forbearance..............................................................................................................................................................................73Chapter 10—Will....................................................................................................................................................................................79Chapter 11—Sponsorship.............................................................................................................................................................................91Chapter 12—Fellowship..............................................................................................................................................................................99Chapter 13—Tolerance...............................................................................................................................................................................107Chapter 14—Naming the Disease......................................................................................................................................................................121Chapter 15—God and the Codependent.................................................................................................................................................................131Chapter 16—The Stubborn and Rebellious Son.........................................................................................................................................................139Chapter 17—Hitting Bottom..........................................................................................................................................................................151Chapter 18—Acceptance..............................................................................................................................................................................163Chapter 19—"Hello, My Name Is ...".................................................................................................................................................................171Appendix A—Some Twelve-Step Groups.................................................................................................................................................................179Appendix B—Glossary of Rabbinic Sources............................................................................................................................................................183

Chapter One

Knowing the Disease

There's an old Borsht Belt routine where a guy walks into a doctor's office complaining of a pain in his elbow.

Patient: Doc, what do I do? It hurts when I go like that (bends his elbow).

Doctor: Don't go like that!

Ba-dum-bump!

When it comes to responding to addiction, our first and most common response is not too different from the doctor in that corny old bit. After all of our best advice and most rational counsel have been exhausted, what else can we tell a person who still seems hell-bent on self-destruction? "Cut it out already." "Give it a rest." Or perhaps a little more emotionally, "Why must you do this to yourself?!"

The truth is that most people, including addicts themselves, have no idea what addiction really is. When being honest, the addict will tell you that he or she has no better an understanding of the problem than you have. Addiction confounds us; it frustrates us; it scares us. This has been the way it's been since time immemorial. That's why for millennia the only response to the town drunk was either to either lock him up for good or to allow him to run raving in the streets. How else should one deal with a problem that makes no sense?

There is an old Jewish saying—"Knowing the disease is half the cure." (Yes, the rabbis have been saying that for centuries already.)

So what is the disease of addiction?

Let's examine a few popular approaches and see where they fall short of offering a complete explanation.

The Biological Model

Ask the average man or woman to define addiction and they will tell you in so many words that it is a chemical dependence. A person becomes used to relying on a substance, and their bodies crave more and more of the same until they're hooked.

That is actually a nice nonprofessional's description of the physical phenomena of chemical tolerance and withdrawal. It has little, however, to do with addiction.

If addiction were chemical dependency, then the solution for addiction would be detox. Once you can get through the drying-out period, you're home free. However, if this were the case, rehabs wouldn't have so much return business, and...