The Performance Appraisal Meeting

This part of the book is intended to give you talking points as a framework for an actual performance appraisal meeting. This is when you look your employee in the whites of his eyes and tell him how well or how poorly he's been doing over the past year. Because this conversation is obviously fraught with all kinds of perils and pitfalls, I've provided you with some ready-made phrases to help jump-start the process.

One option is to dive right in and tell him how you feel he's been doing. Another and sometimes better option is to invite the employee to open up first: ask him how he feels he's been doing. You will be surprised at how frank people can be when you invite them to be open and honest with you. At the very least, you will be encouraging self-awareness on the part of your employee — something that will be sure to benefit him now or down the line.

It should go without saying that you yourself should be 100-percent honest throughout this meeting. But remember, honest doesn't always mean "brutally honest." As always, let context be your guide and use your best judgment.

How to Encourage Discussion

Informal

• I'm definitely not the only one with something to say here. What do you think?

• This isn't about me. I'm more interested in what you have to contribute.

• Okay, are you ready for our little coffee klatch? [joking]

• I know I have a habit of running on, so please feel free to interject whenever you like.

• This is a democracy, not a dictatorship. Your opinion matters, too!

• I want you to think of this as a friendly chat between friends, okay?

• Please feel free to speak your mind; I really mean that!

• I prefer to think of this review as something we are creating together.

• I am all ears — tell me everything that's on your mind.

• This isn't just about me. I'm excited to hear your input and feedback.

• I'm really interested to hear where you're coming from in all of this.

• Your thoughts are more important to me than anything, so feel free to speak up.

• There are no wrong answers here; please feel free to speak honestly and openly.

• Everything we discuss here stays here, okay?

Businesslike

• I think it's more important for me to listen than speak; please go ahead and start.

• This is the best place for this kind of discourse. Let's start now.

• I believe it is more than appropriate for you to have a say in this.

• Everyone here has a chance to speak their mind, and this includes you.

• You should feel quite comfortable speaking up in meetings like this.

• Whenever you feel like speaking up, you should.

• Our time will be well-spent if you take the lead and speak up.

• Maybe there are restrictions on speaking your mind at other companies, but not here.

• I'd like to encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas at any time.

• As an employee here, your input is very important to us.

• I would very much like to hear your professional opinion on these issues.

• I believe the best results will come from honest, to-the-point discourse.

How to Encourage Employees to Appraise Themselves

Informal

• I know what I think, but I am more interested in how you perceive your performance.

• If you had to guess, what do you think I would say your strengths and weaknesses are?

• If you could tell me three things about your work style, what would they be?

• So how do you think you've been doing lately?

• My opinion is secondary at best; it's what you think of you that counts!

• I know it's tough, but tell me how you think you're doing.

• You don't need a higher-up to tell you how you're doing, right?

• I think you know better than anyone else how you've been doing here.

• The best way for us to assess your performance is for you to do a self-check.

• The best way to impress higher-ups is to assess your own work.

• I believe we can be our own toughest critic. What do you think?

• Self-awareness is an important key to success, so tell me how you think you've been doing.

Businesslike

• I believe we all function best when we answer firstly and primarily to ourselves.

• We all need to take an unflinching and honest look at our own work.

• It's important to be able to assess one's self as objectively as possible.

How to Take Control

Casual

• I think it's best to take the bull by the horns — what do you think?

• Let me take the first shot here and then you can get your licks in, I promise. [joking]

• No time like the present — let's get started!

• Now you just sit back and let me do all the talking, okay? [joking]

• I need to know that you're comfortable being on the receiving end of my critiques today.

• I don't want to appear forceful, but I'd like to say a few things before we get into a discussion.

• When you are ready, I'd like to go through the following items on my agenda.

• I'm not really looking for your input; today it's all about how I feel about your work.

• The important thing here is that you listen carefully to this honest appraisal.

• The best way to accomplish this review is for me to talk and you to listen.

• I know you want to have your voice heard, but I am more comfortable running this review.

Formal

• I'd like to keep this meeting short and on-point, so here's what we'll be discussing.

• I'm sure you've got a lot to say, but first you'll need to internalize my feedback.

• The performance review is really about my view of your performance here, correct?

• This meeting will be a success if you simply listen and absorb what I have to say.

• The only thing that matters is how I think you're doing.

• The more you try to direct this meeting, the lower your review score will be.

• Just follow my lead here and we'll have no problems.

• I am not the one being reviewed here.

• Here is how this meeting is going to go.

• Just so we're clear, I'll be directing this meeting.

• I'd like to begin by going over the list of things I want to cover.

How to Avoid False Starts

Friendly to Businesslike

• Let's make this as quick and painless as possible, okay?

• Let's keep this meeting on track and moving right along,...