Watch the Cubs Win the World Series

At the risk of making the rest of this book seem unimportant (don't worry, it's not), let me clearly say up front that it can be broken down into one thing followed by 99 things.

If you're a true Cubs fan, there's winning the World Series and then there's everything else. And everything else doesn't even come close. Other fans dream about winning the World Series in the same way they dream about a nice vacation, getting into a good college, or finally being able to move away from St. Louis.

When Cubs fans dream about winning the World Series, they risk falling into a coma. It's that deep, that intense, and unless you've spent your life being told it can never happen, will never happen, and won't happen, you can't possibly know the depths of a Cubs fan's hopes and dreams.

This is why those who cheer for the Cubs are alone in the baseball universe and will be until that one day when the final out is recorded or the final run scores to clinch the first World Series title since — do I even have to say the year?

It's 1908. But of course you knew that. If you love the Cubs, you knew it because it's been drop-kicked into your skull from the moment you first realized there was something unique about your team. If you don't love the Cubs you knew it for the same reason you know what year the Civil War started and can name the presidents carved on Mt. Rushmore. It's part of Americana.

The Cubs' failure to win the World Series has been the butt of jokes for decades. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't made it there so often and lost, as they did five times between 1929 and 1945. The Philadelphia Phillies lost the only two World Series they were in between 1903 and 1979, but their failures never captured the imagination of the public like those of the Cubs.

It's such a part of the public zeitgeist now that Hollywood writers know they can get a reliable laugh out of the Cubs, like in Back to the Future II when the filmmakers suggested the Cubs had actually won the World Series. Have you ever seen the movie Taking Care of Business with Jim Belushi? He plays a Cubs fan who breaks out of prison with 48 hours left in his sentence just so he can watch the Cubs win the World Series. It's a perfectly awful movie, but Mark Grace makes a cameo appearance so it's not all bad.

At the end of the film, the Cubs end up winning and while sitting in a car in the stadium's parking lot, Belushi's character calmly turns off the radio. No cheering, no screams, no nothing. Just a contented smile. This is why it's called fiction.

When the Cubs win the World Series — and they will win it one day, though I'm not at liberty to tell you when — nobody will be calm. There will be crying and shaking and TV reporters will try to ruin much of it by sticking their microphones in the faces of crazed fans who will only want to hug their friends or call their mom or visit their grandpa at his grave to tell him what just happened.

And I can tell you this, as well: The Cubs players who eventually win the World Series will be remembered as gods. They will be gods because they will have the power to make Cubs fans, if not forget the past, at least change the way in which they remember it.

25 Things to Know About Wrigley Field

Wrigley Field isn't going anywhere, so while you need to see a game there before you die don't worry that it'll disappear before you do. The Cubs moving to another ballpark is as unthinkable as the first family moving out of the White House. It's just not going to happen. Without Wrigley Field, the Cubs wouldn't be the Cubs, they'd be the White Sox, and that's an alternate reality too sad to comprehend.

All you really need to enjoy Wrigley is a ticket to sit anywhere in the ballpark and at least one of your five senses. It might help just a little bit to know these 25 things:

1. The land Wrigley Field was built on was previously occupied by a seminary. The park was commissioned by Charles Weeghman for his Federal League team, the Chicago ChiFeds, also known as the Chicago Whales.

2. When you go, don't pay for parking. If you're driving to the game, park on the street near Irving Park Road and take the Red Line to the game. It's cheaper, faster, and is perfectly safe.

3. Wrigley Field was designed by architect Zachary T. Davis, who also designed the original Comiskey Park.

4. The Cubs offer several different types of tours of Wrigley Field, ranging from $25 per person tours that will take you to see the clubhouse, press box, and possibly a chance to step on the field to $50,000 per group mega-events that include the chance to take batting practice.

5. It took 50 days to build Wrigley Field. Ground was broken on March 4, 1914, in a public ceremony, and the first game was played on April 23, 1914. The ChiFeds beat Kansas City 9–1.

6. With the addition of Ron Santo's statue, there are four statues of important figures in Cubs history surrounding the park. Santo's is currently at the corner of Addison and Sheffield, as is Billy Williams' statue. Ernie Banks has a statue on Clark Street near the main ticket window, and Harry Caray's statue is now at Sheffield and Waveland after initially being a block south.

7. The ballpark was named Weeghman Park until 1920 when it was renamed Cubs Park following the sale of the club to William Wrigley. In 1926, it became known as Wrigley Field.

8. The original seating capacity was 14,000, although contemporary newspaper reports indicated more than 21,000 fans attended the first game.

9. The original dimensions were 310' to left field, 440' to center, and 345' to right.

10. Weeghman bought the Cubs in 1916 after the Whales folded and moved the team from the West Side Grounds to Weeghman Park. The Cubs played their first game at Wrigley Field on April 20, 1916, defeating Cincinnati 7–6 in 11 innings.

11. The first no-hitter at Wrigley Field was thrown on May 2, 1917, by Cincinnati's Fred Toney. This was the famous game where the Cubs' Hippo Vaughn also didn't allow a hit for nine innings before faltering in the 10.

12. Wrigley Field has hosted three All-Star games — 1947, 1962, and 1990. The American League won all three games. Andy Pafko and Ernie Banks are the only Cubs to get a hit in an All-Star Game played at Wrigley Field. Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson, and Shawon Dunston went a combined 0-for-7 in 1990. Milt Pappas saved the 1962 game, but he did it for the AL as a member of the Baltimore Orioles.

13. The Cubs have a record of 2–11 in World Series games played at Wrigley Field. They won Game 5 of the 1935 World Series and Game 6 of the 1945 Fall Classic.

14. Despite making it to the 1918 World Series, the Cubs didn't play their home games at Wrigley Field. The series was moved to Comiskey Park to take advantage of their larger seating capacity.

15. Wrigley Field was home to the Chicago Bears from 1921 until 1970. Only Giants Stadium, due to the New York Giants and New York Jets double occupancy, and Green Bay's Lambeau Field have hosted more NFL games.

16. The highest attendance ever was on June 27, 1930, when 51,556 fans packed Wrigley Field to see the Cubs play the Brooklyn Dodgers. At least 30,476 women entered free for Ladies Day.

17. 3,300,200 fans came out in 2008, the highest single-season attendance at Wrigley Field. They surpassed 2...