CHAPTER 1

CALLED

FIND YOUR UNIQUENES

When you live your life knowing the mission and calling andvoice of God in your soul and you know where that compassis driving you forward, you will become a rare commodity in aworld searching for direction.

—ERWIN MCMANUS, CATALYST WEST

LOOKING BACK IN OUR LIVES, WE CAN OFTEN IDENTIFY THEmoments when our gifts were beginning to bubble up andpoint us toward God's callings for us. I remember the daymy mother dropped me off at my first-grade class. Bristow,Oklahoma, is a small town of five thousand, not far fromTulsa. Since my dad was principal of the middle school andknew all the teachers in the school system, he informed meweeks earlier that Mrs. Weaver would be my first-gradeteacher. With a new pair of jeans, a Brady Bunch lunchbox,and a bowl haircut, I was ready to conquer the world. OrBristow Elementary School at least.

Mom was proud—reminding me at least a dozen timesto behave and play nicely with the other kids—but she wasalso emotional. I was filled with excitement. Even at thisyoung age, the thought of connecting with others energizedme. Walking into the classroom, I hung my backpack on thecoat hook, located my desk, and began memorizing my classmates'names. In hindsight, this was probably the first sign ofmy calling as a leader.

These passions continued to surface with each passingyear. I became one of the captains of the football team in thirdgrade and landed the lead role of Pecos Bill in the school playin sixth grade, the same year I was elected class president.

One memory of elementary school was a showdownregarding the lunch menu in the cafeteria. Our lunchroomonly served chocolate milkshakes, and I was convincedthat lunch would not be complete without both vanilla andstrawberry. I led the student council to victory in the milkshakeshowdown, and though some might say our win wasdue to my dad being the principal of the middle school, Iclaim it was my fearless and staunch stance in the face ofopposition!

Even in those elementary moments, I sensed a compellingurge to lead, like a rumble in my gut. Maybe you knowthe feeling. Something inside is pushing you to the edge, tothe front of the line, to make a difference, to leave a mark.From first grade in Mrs. Weaver's class trying to make sureeveryone knew each other, to eighth grade when I led thecharge for a new school dance. I again felt the rumble inmiddle school when I was elected student council president.I experienced it in high school when I became senior classpresident.

During my formative years, I attempted to lead in whateverI did, from school plays, to the classroom, to becomingone of the captains of the football and basketball teams. Idesired to be out in front.

My sophomore year of high school, two friends and Istarted a rap group. I dropped beats under the name Crème-L—aname I was actually proud of at the time—and our triocommitted to make a difference through our "music." Whenthe "Don't lay your trash on Oklahoma" anti-litter campaignlaunched, we wrote a song for it called, "Clean Up theStreets." We performed it in front of the governor and Houseof Representatives. I'm sure the tape of our performance istucked away somewhere, and I'm more certain that I'll neverlet anyone find it.

Approaching my senior year of high school, I beganto ponder career paths. My friends and I dreamed aboutthe great accomplishments waiting for us. Some wanted tobecome teachers and football coaches. Others desired tobecome doctors or business managers or cattle ranchers.When it came time to share the dream for my life, a clearanswer evaded me. I knew I loved connecting with othersand convening people and investing in leaders, but thatwasn't a job description. Could I do that in politics or educationor business? Perhaps. All I knew was that I felt calledto lead.

Graduation day finally arrived, and since I served assenior class president, I had to announce 130 graduates'names—first, middle, and last—as they walked across thestage. The music played and procession began. I stepped upto the microphone without any notes and called out eachname from memory. To many who were there, reciting allthe names by memory seemed like quite an accomplishment.But for me, it was normal, since I felt a connection to all ofmy classmates. When the final name was called, my mindflashed back to first grade and I recognized a pattern thathad been emerging all along. Looking back, the most importanttreasure I received that day wasn't a diploma, but rathera glimpse of my calling.

Though I didn't realize it at the time, God had beenplotting my path. He opened up doors in college to developnetworks of future leaders. I convened members of rival fraternitiesand sororities for a regular Bible study. I was giftedas a connector, someone who brings people together andequips them to work toward a common purpose. I'd go onto exercise these gifts and my calling through my work inmagazines, media, web content, hospitality, and conferences.

KNOW YOUR CALLING

Every Christian has two callings in life: a spiritual one to salvationand also a vocational calling. Life is too short to misseither one. Your two callings are separate but inseparable.The first informs the way you'll live out your second calling.The realization of what Christ has done for us produces acompulsion to live for Him. When we talk about one's "calling,"we're speaking about the vocational kind that answersthis question: "I've decided to follow God, but how does Hewant me to use my gifts and passions?"

In the years since my high school graduation, I've cometo realize that living one's...