Conflict happens everywhere: at work, with friends and family, among strangers, and certainly in violence. Why did your boss ignore a suggestion that could save millions of dollars? Why do you have the same argument again and again with your spouse? When someone insults you, why do you get angry? Why do bad guys beat up the weak?
You have three brains. Each “brain” has a different priority and evolved to deal with different kinds of conflict. They work using different scripts and have a very clear seniority system.
Conflict Communication(ConCom) presents a functional taxonomy to see, understand, and manipulate the roots of life’s conflicts. You will have the background, the principles, and a collection of tricks to manage and ideally avoid dangerous conflicts.
No going back. After reading this book, you can never go back. Even if you reject everything in the program, even if you refuse to admit how often your monkey brain has controlled your life, escalations toward conflict will never again be invisible to you.
As the fortune cookie says, “Your life is about to change.”
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Rory Miller is a writer and teacher living peacefully in the Pacific Northwest.
He has served for seventeen years in corrections as an officer and sergeant working maximum security, booking and mental health; leading a tactical team; and teaching subjects ranging from Defensive Tactics and Use of Force to First Aid and Crisis Communications with the Mentally Ill. For fourteen months he was an advisor to the Iraqi Corrections System working in Baghdad and Kurdish Sulaymaniyah. Somewhere in the midst of that he received a BS degree in Psychology; served in the National Guard as a Combat Medic (91A/B); earned college varsities in judo and fencing and received a mokuroku in jujutsu. He has drunk chichu with reformed cannibals and 18-year-old scotch with generals...and loves long sword fights on the beach.
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