Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done - Hardcover

Acuff, Jon

 
9781591847625: Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done
Hardcover
ISBN 10: 1591847621 ISBN 13: 9781591847625
Verlag: Portfolio, 2017

Inhaltsangabe

Year after year, readers pulled me aside at events and said, “I’ve never had a problem starting. I’ve started a million things, but I never finish them. Why can’t I finish?

According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals.

For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly.

Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off.

Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underper­form our aspirations.

The strategies in this book are counterintuitive and might feel like cheating. But they’re based on studies conducted by a university researcher with hundreds of participants. You might not guess that having more fun, eliminating your secret rules, and choosing something to bomb intentionally works. But the data says otherwise. People who have fun are 43 percent more successful! Imagine if your diet, guitar playing, or small business was 43 percent more suc­cessful just by following a few simple principles.

If you’re tired of being a chronic starter and want to become a consistent finisher, you have two options: You can continue to beat yourself up and try harder, since this time that will work. Or you can give yourself the gift of done.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Jon Acuff is the New York Times-bestselling author of Start, Quitter, and Do Over, among other books. He is a popular public speaker, blogger, Tweeter, and the creator of the “30 Days of Hustle” online challenge. He lives in Nashville with his wife, Jenny, and their two daughters.

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Chapter 1

The Day After Perfect

"Well begun is half done" is one of my favorite false motivational statements. The other is "Sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and grow your wings on the way down." I saw that one on a photo of a wolf, which was puzzling because in my limited understanding of the animal kingdom, no wolf has ever grown wings. Thank goodness they haven't. If wolves ever figure out the mechanics of flight, it's game over.

We tend to put too much emphasis on beginnings. In doing so, we miss the single day that wrecks more goals than any other. For the first forty-one years of my life I didn't even hear anyone mention this day. I was as clueless as the fictitious people who still live at the beach where Jaws was filmed. There shouldn't have been a Jaws 2. That movie should have just been called A Bunch of Seaside Residents Move to Ohio, Where There Are No Sharks. That's probably not going to fit on a marquee, but at least they would have avoided another shark-related disaster.

Despite all the work we put into planning our goals, despite the new sneakers and diets and business plans, we miss the day that matters most, the day that is why I'm not allowed to buy black beans at Costco anymore.

The store will let me, it's not a management decision, although I do abuse those free samples. One day they were giving out Oreos, for the seven Americans who have never experienced that cookie. The conversation with the employee handing them out was awkward because I felt like I had to pretend I'd never heard of them. "What do you call this? A chocolate cookie sandwich? No? The name is 'Oreo'? Am I saying that correctly? How whimsical!"

The reason I can't buy black beans is that they only sell them in pallet quantity. You can't just buy one, you have to buy a thousand cans.

That's a lot of beans, but at least once a year I believe I need this amount.

While exercising, I decide to "get serious." I remember that in Timothy Ferriss's book The 4-Hour Body, he recommends a simple breakfast of eggs, black beans, spinach, cumin, and salsa. When my family sees me rooting around the cupboard for black beans, they all groan. "Oh no, here we go again."

They know that for the next twelve days in a row I am going to eat black beans.

Why only twelve? Because on Day 13 I'm going to get too busy, have a meeting, or be on a business trip without my traveling beans. Upon missing one day, I will quit the whole endeavor.

Once the streak is broken, I can't pick it back up. My record is no longer perfect so I quit altogether. This is a surprisingly common reaction to mistakes.

If you interview people about why they quit their goals, they all use similar language.

"I fell behind and couldn't get back on track."

"Life got in the way and my plans got derailed."

"The project jumped the tracks and got too messy to fix."

The words might be different, but they're all saying the redundant same thing: "When it stopped being perfect, I stopped, too."

You missed one day of your diet and then decided the whole thing was dumb.

You were too busy to write one morning and so you put your unfinished book back on the shelf.

You lost one receipt and then gave up on your entire budget for the month.

I'm not picking on you for giving in to perfectionism. I've fallen to it many times as well. One February, I ran seventy-five miles. Then I ran seventy-one in March and seventy-three in April. Know how much I ran in May? Eight miles. Can you guess June's total? Three.

Why? Because when my perfect exercise streak hit a roadblock I stopped.

This is the first lie that perfectionism tells you about goals: Quit if it isn't perfect.

The genius in this first lie is subtle. It's not "when" it isn't perfect, because that hints at the reality that it won't be. No, perfectionism tells you "if" it isn't perfect, as if you have the chance to run the whole rack and go to the grave with a 100 percent on your tombstone.

This is troubling to us, because we don't want B's and C's when we've got a goal. We want straight A's, especially if it's a goal we've thought about for any amount of time. We will gladly give up the whole thing when we discover some error or imperfection in our performance. More than that, we will even prequit, before we've even begun.

That's why a lot of people won't start a new goal. They'd rather get a zero than a fifty. They believe perfect is the only standard, and if they can't hit it they won't even take the first step. A dreary sense of "What's the use?" settles about them like a thick fog. I can't fail if I don't try.

While researching this book, I asked a thousand people in an online poll if they had ever refused to even write down an idea because they judged it as not good enough. I thought maybe I was the only one who had a perfectionism filter that sorted ideas before they were allowed to hit a piece of paper. More than 97 percent of the participants said they had done that.

I don't know how to tell you this, but your goal will not be perfect. It crushes me to break this to you, but you will fail. Maybe a lot. Maybe right out of the gate. You might even trip over the starting line.

That's OK.

Why? Why would I encourage you to embrace imperfection? Well, for one thing, doing something imperfectly won't kill you. We think it will, which is why we compare our lack of progress to a train crash. "I couldn't get back on track, my plans got derailed." A train derailment is a significant, serious accident. In many cases, people die, hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage occurs, and fixing it takes days if not weeks.

Do you know what doesn't happen when you miss a day of your goal? Any of those things.

No one dies. It doesn't require $400,000 to get back on track. Righting things doesn't take four weeks.

Second, developing tolerance for imperfection is the key factor in turning chronic starters into consistent finishers. Chronic starters quit the day after perfect. What's the use? The streak is over. Better to wallow in the mistake. I ate a crazy dinner last night, might as well eat a crazy breakfast, lunch, and dinner today, too.

"Might as well" is one of the most dangerous phrases in the English language. Or Polish, since for some reason my books tend to get translated into that language before Spanish. I am killing it in Krakow.

"Might as well" is never applied to good things. It's never, "Might as well help all these orphans," or "Might as well plant something healthy in this community garden." It's usually the white flag of surrender. "I've had a single French fry, might as well eat a thousand."

These are the kinds of things we say on the day after perfect, and that day is sticky.

Do you know the biggest day for people to drop out of the 30 Days of Hustle goal-setting course? Most people guess Day 23 or Day 15, but that's not even close.

Day 2 is when I see the largest drop-off. That's right, the biggest day for the most people to stop opening the e-mails that constitute the exercises is Day 2. Why that day? Because imperfection doesn't take long to show up. You've sat at your desk on a Monday morning before and thought, "It's nine a.m. How am I already this far behind? How is this entire week already ruined?"

Imperfection is fast, and when it arrives we usually quit.

That's why the day after perfect is so important.

This is the make-or-break day for every goal. This is the day after you skipped the jog. This is the day after you failed to get up early. This is the day after you decided the serving size for a whole box of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts is one.

The day after perfect is what separates finishers from starters.

Accomplishing a goal is a lot less like taking a train across country...

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Verlag
Portfolio
Erscheinungsdatum
2017
Sprache
Englisch
ISBN 10 
1591847621
ISBN 13 
9781591847625
Einband
Gebundene Ausgabe
Anzahl der Seiten
208
Kontakt zum Hersteller
Portfolio
https://www.wetones.co.uk/

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