Courage under Pressure

Our family loved sports, especially cheering for our son Matt's basketball team. It was all guts and glory until the day Matt made a life-altering dive for a loose ball and broke his neck. But from that first day, we clearly saw the hand of God at work. As Sharon wept beside our son's body strapped to the hospital stretcher, Matt looked into his mother's eyes and said, "Mom, pull yourself together. Remember, God is in control!"

We prayed for healing, but God chose to show His glory through human weakness. Withholding one miracle became an opportunity for performing many miracles! Today Matt is a quadriplegic, but he navigates his power wheelchair, drives his adapted van, plays video games, and has never suffered from depression.

I'm so proud of my son. If our goal as believers is to communicate the gospel message of faith, I must admit we have done a far better job with a quadriplegic son than we did when he walked. Matt is walking tall by faith, and God is walking with our family.

DR. A. CHARLES WARE — FATHER OF MATT AND BIBLE COLLEGE PRESIDENT

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Have you ever received a phone call that rocked your world?

Michael Hoggatt and his wife, Mandy, have. Their daughter Summer, who has intellectual and developmental disabilities, started bleeding a few days after her fifth birthday. After she underwent three months of testing, ultrasounds, and hospital visits, Michael and Mandy received a shocking call. The doctor told them to bring Summer to the hospital immediately, where a bed was waiting for her on the oncology floor. Following another series of tests, a surgeon confirmed that Summer had stage IV cancer. One of her kidneys would have to be removed the next morning or the cancer could prove fatal. Two years later — after undergoing 1 ife-threatening surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, CT scans, blood tests, IVs, and more surgery — Summer was cancer-free. She's a daily reminder of God's good gift of life!

Dr. A. Charles Ware also received a world-shaking phone call. He was away from his family on a speaking engagement when he was told that his athlete son, Matt, had been injured. "Your son has suffered a C4 fracture," said the calm, compassionate voice on the phone. "This means he broke his neck." Charles's wife, Sharon, called moments later with news that Matt was being transferred to another hospital, and she would be going with him. After Charles hung up, a rush of emotion rose within him. His legs barely held him up as he fought back the weakness and confusion of being so far from his family when they needed him.

Maybe you can relate to these men's stories — the shock, the uncertainty, the fear. If so, you're not alone.

Few things shake a man to the core of his being like hearing that his son or daughter has been diagnosed with a disability or severe illness. Some men receive this news in a delivery room or doctor's office, others in the chaos of an emergency room. Still others hear words such as "your child is not typical" during a parent-teacher conference at school and walk back to the car in shock, clutching pamphlets on special education services.

No matter where it's received, such news hits hard. Even men of strong conviction and integrity can easily lose their way and become plagued by anger, fear, and depression. These fathers may question what they thought to be true about life. And men of faith may wonder how a loving God could allow such a circumstance into their lives.

In the face of these realities, special-needs dads require a special kind of courage, which comes from knowing they are not alone. Many men have been raising children with disabilities for some time; they can show you how to climb the steep path ahead. These "travel guides" are able to point out where the loose rocks wait and help struggling fathers tie another knot at the end of their frayed rope. Even more important, God is climbing alongside you, continually working His good purposes amid seemingly impossible challenges.

Tempered Steel, Strengthened Lives

When hardships enter our lives, we can be sure that while we may be surprised by these things, God is not. He is always preparing us for challenges along the way. Like steel that has been subjected to intense heat until it becomes hard enough to sustain a tremendous amount of pressure and tension, so He has been tempering our spirits to be able to withstand the trials we now face.

Raising a child with a disability can be stressful on an average day. Then there are days when nothing works right, and we're bent under the weight of the situation. On those days in particular, we need to know that God is the Master Operator of our lives. He knows the right degree of heat required to temper our spirits, preparing us to be able to handle the pressure. God wants to lovingly mold us through life's high-temperature demands.

Are you leaning on God as your Father when pressures rise? If so, you'll experience the joy and peace of relying on Him and find yourself able to stand up under the weight of the struggle. As the writer of Hebrews puts it, "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening — it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way" (12:11).

Softened Hearts, Strengthened Spirits

When we face challenging times, it's easy to think, This just isn't fair! We too easily buy into the lie that Christians shouldn't have to go through hurtful struggles. If God is really in control, we would escape pain and suffering, right? No, God wants to teach us that difficult times can also be good. It is through pain and suffering that we can truly come to know Christ.

Paul reminds us that knowing God must be our highest priority. In Philippians 3:10-11 he says, "I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the...