CHAPTER 1

Beginning Deep Happy

When a fool hears the Tao, he laughs ... the utter simplicity!

—Dao De Jing

Happiness is your nature, It is not wrong to desire it What's wrong is seekingit outside, When it is inside.

—Ramana Marharshi

Just like the great seas and oceans that are unaffected by huge and ragingstorms on the surface just a few feet above, we can experience the ebb and flowof conflicting and difficult events of the world outside of us, yet stillconnect to the stillness, peace, and happiness in the deep and essential partsof us. In other words, once you get used to it, you can exist in the crazy worldand still remain calm, connected, and aware inside. This is the essentialmessage of Deep Happy.

Everyone wants to be happy. It's what drives the good and the craziness of theworld. The quest for happiness is the basis in some way for everything we do.All forms of life want to be happy, even the tiniest of us. I remember in highschool looking at amoebas under a microscope. I put a very tiny particle of meaton the slide. All the amoebas rushed to get to it, like a big pre-holiday saleat Macy's. It was very clear that the particular amoeba that got the proteinexperienced something quite different than the other amoebas. The one who got itseemed happy, if you can say that about an amoeba. Its body expanded, while theothers seemed frustrated, their little bodies contracting and bumping into eachother as they moved away. Their patterns and movements were very different thanthey were before they went after and lost the food. All forms of life, evenmicroscopic organisms, experience transient happiness—if not on the emotionallevel, then at least on the chemical, neuronal, and survival level. Aspotentially conscious beings, we have the opportunity to experience the placeinside of us that is safe and connected: that is Deep Happy.

It might seem easy to be happy, but happiness can be elusive and paradoxical.Reading, driving a car, and even walking seem easy, but we had to learn how todo them by letting their processes become imprinted into our nervous systems anddaily patterns. If we want to excel, we can take advanced training to readfaster, drive better, and walk and exercise more efficiently. Learning toexperience Deep Happy is very similar.

You might be wondering, "Why do I need to learn to be happy? Shouldn't I justfix my problems? Wouldn't that make me happy?" That's a fair question, but youare reading this book, I assume, for a reason. Either you haven't been able tofix your problems or think you have already done so and you still feel likesomething is missing.

The odd thing is, it often happens that at just the moment when we finally feelhappy—when we get our new car, find the tax documents we have been looking forall day, or even just get a moment of peace—something else comes up and takes abite out of our happiness. This kind of happiness, although certainly welcomewhenever it comes, is transient. It is a kind of happiness that depends onsomething happening or not happening. It is not a happiness that we can counton; most of the time, we can't even predict what will bring it or how long itwill last.

So let's re-examine what happiness really is. On a superficial level we can sayit is a generalized experience of feeling and sensations caused by many thingsthat we usually lump together: satisfaction, resolution, safety, and reward. Weeat a good meal when we are hungry; buy a new espresso maker when our old onebreaks; feel the morning sun after a cold night; appreciate a good listener; winan argument; fall in love; end a bad relationship; start and finish a greatbook. This list could go on to fill a whole library. All of these things andprobably most that you can imagine involve some kind of change—some thing orsituation becoming better.

Much of our time involves seeking or refuting something to attain happiness.This is a never-ending process. As we grow and develop, it becomes more and moresubtle. For instance, feeling good about ourselves because we didn't want orneed something seems more developed than succumbing to the desire, but it isstill part of the process of cause and effect. We remain in this mode until wecome upon another way. For most of us, ending the cycle of "searching andgetting" usually means we have left our bodies.

The deeper happiness inside of us is a happiness that does not change. It has adifferent quality than the outer experiences of satisfaction and safety. It islike a wonderful tone that vibrates subtly and pervasively throughout our bodiesand within each cell, thought, and perception. As outer challenges and problemsabsorb our attention, a part of us always remains unchanged. Our core essence isalways in resonance with a deep and profound happiness. We just have to rememberthat it is there waiting for us.

Most of us have had at least some happiness in our lives. For many people thesemomentary peaks of happiness are what hold us together through the tedium androutine of everyday life. But I ask you: What happens to the experience of beinghappy all the rest of the time? It may surprise you to know that many of usresist deeper happiness without knowing it. We get very used to being andstaying just the way we are, often with great limits to our ability to feelpleasure, ease, joy, and especially personal satisfaction and even simple fun.These limitations are learned restrictions that either match with the patternsand tone of our birth families or are the result of overwhelming physical oremotional trauma, which then anchor themselves in the structures of our physicaland energetic body. These blockages can stay with us until we find a way to healand release them. As you read this book, you will be able to uncover and healthese blockages.

We grew up believing that certain basic attitudes and ways of being create innerhappiness: kindness, stillness, generosity, forgiveness, and being in the now.We are encouraged to be peaceful, still, and calm. However, when we do drop intothat moment of quiet and clarity, what often arises is everything inside us thatis not quiet and not clear: our worries, fears, memories, feelings, withheldexpressions, and doubts. These inner voices can have a wide polarity. Part ofDeep Happy is learning what to do when we notice this happening. On the goodside, they can range from easy thoughts that...