The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse

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9781573440790: The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse

Based on the author's extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor's Guide to Sex offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is alright to say "no" to unwanted sex, this one encourages women to learn how to say "yes" to their own desires and on their own terms.

Points of discussion include problems common to women survivors. Haines teaches survivors to embrace their own sexual choices and preferences, learn about their own sexual response cycles, and heal through masturbation, sexual fantasy, and play. The Survivor's Guide to Sex includes resources, bibliography, and an index.

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Review:

Sex-positive and daring, The Survivor's Guide to Sex will support any woman's pursuit of pleasure and confidence. In fact, its cheery outlook may startle those who have been addressing these issues in guarded terms with a therapist, or who haven't put their fears and desires into words. Haines ably discusses common negative reactions among survivors, such as withdrawal and dissociation, and suggests ways to move on. Her chapters on "Sexual Response and Anatomy" and "Masturbation and Self-Healing" may come as a revelation to women who have repressed their sexual feelings, and partners, too, will find much of interest. Some survivors of abuse may not be ready, perhaps, for the advanced course in radical sex that Haines eventually launches into, but it is still good to learn that "a suede whip will give more of a thud that spreads sensation at first; it will give more sting as it collects body oils." --Regina Marler

From the Back Cover:

"What a terrific book! Every survivor needs this encouraging, down-to-earth guide-and the joy of freely-chosen, healthy sexual pleasure."-Ellen Bass, co-author, The Courage to Heal: Move over abuse, and move in pleasure! The Survivor's Guide to Sex is for all women-heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, partnered and single-who want to delight in their own sexuality. Based on the author's extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivors Guide to Sex offers a complete guide to sexual recovery: Pleasure and Desire- How to discover and fully own your desires on your own terms. Nonjudgmental support for all sexual styles and interests.Dissociation- Discover how you "checked out" to survive and how you can "check in" now for healing and your own sexual expression. Embodied Sex- No more grocery lists and wrestling matches with relics of the past! Learn how to be in your body during sex, present for yourself and your partners.Consent and Boundaries- The "yes," "no," and "maybe" of sex. How to say "yes" to your desires and develop boundaries to take care of yourself. Triggers- A sex life built around triggers becomes no sex life at all. Practical tools for healing through triggers while enjoying all the delights and complexities of a fully-embodied sex life. Sex Information- Chock full of sex-positive information on all aspects of sexual response, masturbation, and partner sex, tailored to the needs of survivors.

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