Addie Johnson grew up in Minnesota and San Francisco, went east to go to Vassar College, and stayed put in New York. She's an actor and helps run Rising Phoenix Rep, a small developmental theatre company. She's also an editor and writer, and this is her second book. She lives in Brooklyn with her family, who help her remember every day that life is sweet.

CHAPTER 1

Giving, Gratitude,and Grace:A Way of Life

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned,earned, worn, or consumed. Happinessis the spiritual experience of living everyminute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

I CATCH MYSELF SOMETIMES thinking thatthese three g's—giving, gratitude, and grace are—arelike credit in life. Meaning they're a wonderfulbonus once I get through the other stuff: obligations,stress, difficulty, trying to find some way tobe happy as the skies seems to be darkening aroundme. It can be easy to forget, particularly if I'm havinga tough time, that those three g's are the pitchand center of life, not things to shove to the outskirtsof my attention. Giving is always possible, no matterhow scarce my resources. Gratitude isn't just anafterthought, it's a forethought (as well as a duringthought!) and once that enriches the good times andsustains me through the bad. Grace is a goal and aninspiration, and can be found in everything from themost mundane to the most exciting moments andeverywhere in between. There are so many wonderfulsmall ways to put these into practice: as weexpress our thanks for the gifts we receive, as wedream up the wonderful gifts we can give to others,as we practice the spirit of graceful living in everyway we can. More of these three g's will bring thekind of life I want to grab hold of and never let go.

We make a living by what we get, wemake a life by what we give.

Sir Winston Churchill

We're all trying to make a life in the best we way weknow. It isn't easy, and in the process we may welllose sight of what we really want and need. Or wemay lose track of other people's wants and needs inthe relentless pursuit of our own. We try our best tomake a living, getting more whenever and howeverwe can, and making sacrifices and difficult choicesalong the way. Sometimes we delay the giving wemight be inclined to do, whether it's to charity, ormore time to spend with out kids, or putting timeand energy toward our own passions. We put off givinguntil we feel we have made enough of a living, asthough crossing the threshold of some magic numberor career milestone will suddenly make us feelinclined to generosity. Are we waiting until we havesomething to spare before we give anything? Thereis a way to make a life by giving, giving, giving, andit may not be any easier but it will most certainly bemore fulfilling.

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.

Jean Anouilh

Gratitude is love. Love is gratitude. An expression oflove is an expression of gratitude. I love you means, inpart, I am grateful that you are in my life. I am gratefulthat I get the gift of getting to share my love withyou. And any thank you is an expression of love.

If we have the opportunity to begenerous with our hearts, ourselves,we have no idea of the depthand breath of love's reach.

Margaret Cho

Thank you for appreciating me.

This is a thank you for a thank you, and is often overlooked.When you get to the end of your rope, doingand doing everyone else in your life, hearing athank you can break the dam pent-up emotions.Knowing that someone appreciates what you're doingcan lift a terrific burden and is a gift in and ofitself. One good turn deserves another. Sending athank you in the form of a note or an email, or just aphone call, can mean the world.

Thank you for being who you are.

It takes courage to be who you really are, especiallyif you are not quite like everyone else around. Thatcourage can be contagious in a wonderful way. I havea friend who was a complete outcast in high school.She didn't even really understand why, except thatshe's firecracker and someone who doesn't see anypoint in changing her looks, mannerisms, or beliefsto fit the status quo. A lot of high schoolers devotethemselves to changing their looks, mannerism, orbeliefs in order to fit in, and no one knew what tomake of my friend, so they ridiculed and excludedher. She got a letter years later from one of her classmates,and part of it was about thanking her forhaving the strength and conviction to be who shewas, and not to try and change or fit in for the sakeof it. It turns our that my friend's struggle was beingwatched more closely than she imagined, andthat this classmate had gone on to find the samestrength in herself and was so much the better for it.

Give what you have.To someone, it may be betterthan you dare to think.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I've read quite a bit about one of the most successfulmodes of philanthropy out there right now—the ideaof micro loans. Given mostly to individual women orgroups of women, the loans of as little as a couple ofdollars are usually used as seed money for a business,buying starter supplies to build a store, or beginninga weaving or crafts collective. The success rates arehuge, and there are all sorts of added benefits for thefamilies of the women involved, like improved nutritionand education for the children. So even whilewe feel like we're desperately struggling in a richernation, even those couple of dollars we keep in thepenny jar might be able to do something somewhere.And in a broader sense, we need to remember not tocensor to give. Giving what you have is the best youcan do, and it can make all the difference.

Thank you for giving what you have.

It is expressly at those times whenwe feel need that we willbenefit the most from giving.

Ruth Ross

Thank you for being there.

My misery loved your company.Thank you for being there!

Unknown

Thank you for giving me HOPE.

Thanks for GIVING it your all.

Thank you for HELPING methrough a difficult time.

Thank you forTEACHING by example.

Thank you forCALMING my fears.

Thank you for INSPIRING meto go on when I felt likeI couldn't make it.

To give without any reward, or anynotice, has a special quality of its own.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I would like to believe when I diethat I have given myself away like atree that sows seed every springand never counts the loss, because it isnot loss, it is adding to future life.It is the tree's way of being.Strongly rooted perhaps, butspilling out its treasure on the wind.

Mary Sarton

Expressing gratitude serves as one of the most movingcondolences I know. When my father died, I gota letter from one of his best friends with memoriesof their youth together. His appreciation for my father—hisdumb jokes, his adventurous spirit, even hisstubbornness—came through so clearly, and I readthe note again and again, feeling wrapped in the lovehis friend had for him, and it was a huge comfort.

Gratitude is the fairest blossomwhich springs from the soul.

Henry Ward Beecher

Giving flowers as a thank you means so much. Theyreflect back the sweetness of any good deed, theybrighten any room and bring the...