CHAPTER 1

Tend Your Own Garden

The first week of meditations, coupled with assignments, are written to help youkeep your focus where it belongs: on yourself! We are not privy to anyone else'sdivine plan. We generally see our own only in hindsight. But we can cultivatethe willingness to trust that we are in God's care and that our work is veryspecific. And so is everyone else's.

Day 1 Morning

Having anyone else as the focus of our attention will prevent us from doing thework that is ours to do.

It's so easy to sit in judgment of others, silently or sometimes even audiblycriticizing them for their actions. Remembering that every person alive has aspecific journey that includes a legion of activities has a way of eluding us.It's only our activities that deserve our attention.

We can learn from others, and that's why we share the path with so many. But weare not here to serve as judges; rather, we are here to be expressions of love.

I will literally count the number of times I reach out with love today and willwrite them down at the end of the day.

Day 1 Evening

Am I feeling good as I turn in for the night? Did I express my love for othersby my actions? I will take a moment to remember the details of my day. Whom didI treat with kindness? Let me name them. Did they feel my expression ofkindness. How could I tell?

Who didn't get my better self in our interactions? If I could redo theseexchanges, what would I do differently? Do I owe any amends? If I do, I willmake them tomorrow.

Day 2 Morning

Our attempts to control others are futile.

Wanting to control someone else usually grows out of our personal need to feelmore secure. If "they," whoever they might be, would only fulfill our will, itmeans they love us or honor us or accept our "superiority," thus making usworthy. How absurd our attempt to control. How destructive this thinking is.

For today, let's remember that our security and worthiness come from our HigherPower, not someone else's behavior. Ever.

If someone does what I am hoping they will do today, it's because that personhas chosen that action. Will I be able to see this idea revealed today? Takingtime to write down an example will help me remember what to look for.

Day 2 Evening

As I reflect on the day, do I feel good about letting go of what others weredoing? It's not easy. But it is possible. Every time I let a friend or strangerdo something his way, I was relieved of a burden. His success or failure wasn'ttied to me in any way.

How many burdens did I let go of today? Can I name them? Every time I let go, mylife was made more peaceful.

As I turn in for the night, I will thank my Higher Power for helping me letothers be themselves today.

Day 3 Morning

Everyone we meet is revealing something about ourselves.

Everyone on our path is divinely appointed. No one is present by accident. Andhow we choose to see each person is determined by the level of fear or love weare feeling, in the moment. Our perception reveals our strengths but also thosetraits that need correcting in ourselves.

Each person is a mirror of who I am. Making the decision to see as God wouldhave me see is the assignment. Today will present many opportunities to seepeople as God would have me see them. I will savor and remember those times Ifulfilled God's will by writing them down.

Day 3 Evening

What did I learn about myself today? How I saw the others on my path will supplythe information I now seek. Am I pleased with who I was in most encounters? Listsome examples. Which areas of my behavior need addressing? Naming them will keepme honest. Did fear rule me in any situation today? I will re-"vision" thatsituation for a few moments before going to sleep tonight.

Having God as my companion in all situations means I always have a guide whosesuggestions are impeccable. I have the capacity to follow God's lead. I knowwhich voice is holy.

Day 4 Morning

Learning and then practicing new behaviors regarding our relationships withothers can be exciting and very hopeful.

Any struggle we may be having at work or at home requires that we do somethingdifferently. We may not be totally at fault, of course, but we cannot changesomeone else's behavior or way of thinking. Fortunately, we can change our own.

That's the good news. It takes away a burden we don't need. Taking even a momentbefore responding to someone else's drama can change everything about theexperience.

An idea as simple as gently smiling at everyone before even saying a word canmake the day far more productive and peaceful, and far less dramatic. I will dothis today and follow up by writing about the experiences I had.

Day 4 Evening

Did I do anything I felt proud of in my most significant relationship today?Name that. Was it difficult to "show up" differently? How did my behavior lookin all other encounters? Writing an example will help me change it tomorrow. IfI had the chance to repeat today, what's the first thing I could do that wouldmake a difference?

Am I willing to begin tomorrow with this principle uppermost in my mind?

Day 5 Morning

Freedom from the obsession of trying to control others releases one's spirit.

Keeping our attention on others limits our own personal growth. We miss what wehave been born to do when we fail to pay heed to our own journey. Whateversomeone on our path is doing might well be edifying; it may absorb us, but theirpresence isn't meant to be the whole substance of our development. Someone elsecan't be the center of our life, or we are being held hostage.

Being attentive to fellow travelers is courteous and part of the work we arehere to do, because their presence is intentional, after all. But being overlyfocused on them or, worse yet, trying to control them, isn't.

I will enjoy my own journey today, knowing it's the one my Higher Power and Ipicked. Keeping tabs on what I like about my behavior today will help me repeatit tomorrow.

Day 5 Evening

Was today a good day? Was my life consumed, at any time, by my obsession withwhat someone else was doing? If it was, how could I have behaved instead? I willtake a moment to reflect on this. I will write a note reminding myself of what Icould do the next time I am allowing myself to be held hostage by another'sbehavior.

Being obsessed with others will never bring me success in my own life.

I will pray to remember that every life is divinely unfolding and doesn't needmy attempt...