Gotta Have Faith: Dumping Doubt Through Prayer

Faith. What does faith have to do with communicating with your loved ones on theother side? My experience is that no matter what religion you follow, practice,or don't, faith has everything to do with fostering a spiritual connection.There are countless things I could say on the topic of faith, but simply put—ifyou don't believe (have faith) that you can communicate with and receive signsfrom those on the other side, you won't. (Oh, they'll still send you messages.You'll just ignore them or attribute them to coincidence.) With faith, however,the possibilities are limitless. Your loved ones in spirit, no longer bound bythe laws of earth, may just blow the doors off your limited thinking and yourhardened heart.

But I get it. Faith can be a tricky word, and the act of being faithful,illusive. Let's break it down, shall we?

Faith. You hear it all the time, don't you? The word itself is bantered aboutlike it should be the most natural thing in the world:

• Have faith.

• Keep the faith.

• You've just got to have faith!

But what if you don't have faith, or you've temporarily lost yours? What if youonce felt faithful regularly, if not all the time, but after the loss of a lovedone, you feel robbed of your faith? Faith is our natural state, but when we loseit with a loved one's death, we don't seem to be able get it back without goingthrough the natural process of grieving (the topic of our next chapter). It's amust to work through whatever anger, depression, or pain has depleted yourfaith.

In this chapter, I share stories I've collected that are designed to inspireyour faith, as well as a few considerations to think about anytime you'refeeling low and need support.

First, I want you to know that faith waxes and wanes for most of us. Even MotherTeresa, through personal letters released upon her death, admitted being plaguedby a crisis of faith throughout much of her life. When death touches you, as itdid for Mother Teresa on a near-daily basis (as she administered to the sick anddying in Calcutta and some of the world's most impoverished locales for manyyears), it would be illogical to expect a person to have no doubts about thebenevolence of the almighty.

I think we all ask ourselves questions after experiencing deep loss. Questionslike: Is there a God? Is God really a loving God? If so, why do bad thingshappen to good people? And the big one: If we're all going to die anyway, what'sthe point of life?

I believe we're here to go through a variety of experiences (that appear bothgood and bad) to help us grow. If you're going through a crisis of spirit, myheart goes out to you. I understand what this kind of loss can do to your psycheand your view of life, God, and the Universe itself. Hang on. Things will shift.The feelings of hopelessness that often accompany grief do go away. My friendLinda used to describe the death of her mother as "the day the earth tilted onits axis," the day "nothing quite felt or looked the same way." While it took ayear for Linda to feel the beauty of life again, no one could argue that herlife wasn't forever altered. In her sadness, Linda never could have known thather mother was still with her and continued to enrich her life. She couldn'tknow that her belief in life would return. But thankfully, both proved to betrue. As I believe they will for you.

My sister has been gone a long time now. I'm on the other side of grief, so youmight think it's easy for me to be positive. True. I have learned to look beyondher death as a sad, negative, and emotional situation and see it now as ablessing in disguise. But that takes time. And it's not always easy going. I dobelieve, however, that you will find gifts in death when you look deeply enough.It may take some digging, but gifts are there. Maybe it's as simple asrecognizing your own dreams again, or listening to your heart. Remarkably, evenafter twenty-five years, I still discover new gifts from my sister's passing allthe time.

Even when something doesn't immediately seem like a gift, my trust in lifeallows me to lift my head and stare down whatever has stepped into my path. WhatI've come to believe and experience over the years is that my higher power, God,never leaves my side. God guides me and loves me unconditionally, as He doeseach of us. Most importantly, God knows exactly what I need, when I need it, andhow I need it. So, when a decision I made turns sour, or the outcome isn'tremotely close to what I envisioned, or something happens out of the blue andthe life of a loved one is taken, I believe that everyone involved is being leddown a path for their highest purpose. It may take time to see how eachexperience actually helps me individually, but proof always seems to show up andput me back in my place; a good place—a place of 100 percent faith.

It's interesting to me that faith is universal. All cultures and religionsthroughout the world have a faith in God (or Gods), Spirit, or a higher power.All have a belief that the personality or the soul continues to have life afterdeath. I like to think they're right. I cherish examples that remind me to dumpmy doubt and keep my faith. Like this one ...

Synchronistic Street Fair

A dear friend of mine, Susan Kimutis—the author of Receiving Birth—and herhusband, John, lost their nineteen-year-old son, Joe, to a tragic accident inMarch of 2011. As they were working through their grief, they began receivingsigns of peace and comfort from Joe.

May the magic of the love that exists between worlds touch you through thisstory.

In Susan's own words:

One Saturday I was headed to my local health food store for a quick stop, but myplans changed when the main road was closed for a street fair. I weaved my way,blindly following the cars in front of me until I found myself again on familiarground. I popped into the store, got what I needed, and was out. I had to parkacross the street in a funeral home parking lot because street parking was apremium, due to the street fair.

I called my friend Lisa and asked her if she was at the street fair and couldshe meet with me. She was not. I had no idea why I did that or why I stayed,since street fairs are not my thing. But I walked toward the center of townanyway, passing booths promoting the Rotary Club, the public library, and thefuneral home, where I had just parked. I didn't stop. I was disinterested andsoon decided to get back to my car and head home.

As I began walking back, however, I became slightly annoyed with myself becausethe new flip flops I was...