How I Discovered the "Cosmic Ordering Service"

The whole thing started a few years ago during an argument with a friend. Shehad read a book about positive thinking and suggested that I imagine the perfectman with all the right qualities and just ask the universe to send him my way,to "place an order" for him with the universe. Back then I was not thinkinghighly of those kinds of ideas, and got all worked up as the discussionprogressed. I thought I needed to save my friend from pending madness. Wefinally ended our argument with the agreement that I would place a "test order"to prove to her what total nonsense this was. At that time, I had a nine-itemwish list for the perfect man, which included: he must be a vegetarian, beagainst alcohol, be a non-smoker, and know T'ai Chi.

In order to minimize the statistical probability of a coincidence as much aspossible, I set an exact delivery date; it would be during a specific week inapproximately three months. With that, the discussion was temporarily concluded.

When said week arrived, a guy who had all nine characteristics was promptlydelivered.

"Wowwww!" I thought. After that I was convinced that this cosmic orderingservice was definitely worth trying and got into an ordering frenzy.

I still do everything in my daily life as well as I can in that moment, and I amsurely not the passive kind who just hops into a hammock and does nothing butorder. Nevertheless, whenever something comes up that I would like to have, butI cannot find a way of getting for myself, I order it: an office, money (thisworks for me in sums of a few thousand dollars; I have too many doubts abouthigher sums, which blocks the flow), job, apartment, etc.

Some time ago, I had a position in a public relations office, and part of my jobinvolved generating an informational flyer by cutting and pasting portions fromother sources. I had total freedom in the design of the flyer and enjoyed it somuch that I wanted to study magazine design. I checked into taking eveningclasses in computer graphics—today almost all magazines are computer generated—butthe classes were expensive and took years to finish. It wasn't worth thiskind of effort to me. So here was an obvious case for another order, just forfun.

It couldn't hurt. And while I was at it, I added that I wanted to work in asmall, comfortable place in the country, and that the director of the companyshould be my age, and a charming, non-choleric person ... if you please.

Shortly thereafter, a colleague of mine quit her job. She changed positionsseveral times during the next few months and finally ended up in a small companyin the country. Her boss was a charming, twenty-six-year old, and she was doingthe graphic work there all by herself. At first I was totally baffled. I order,and they deliver my order to her. Unbelievable!

At the same time I had another order in the making. An ex-friend, one whom I hadnot ordered, owed me quite a lot of money. I had ordered this amount returned tome, with no regard to its source. The money, therefore, would not necessarilycome from him; he did not have any more money anyway.

It so happened that I also changed jobs and started working for a magazine. Themagazine didn't make it, and discontinued after four months. But due to theirlong term-of-notice requirement, I got, approximately, the amount that I hadordered—more than twelve thousand dollars—as a settlement. Isn't thatoutrageous?

Suddenly blessed with that kind of money, my first thoughts were to leave thecountry and learn Italian. But I had to cancel these plans. The earlier orderwas in the delivery phase: my former colleague called and said she urgentlyneeded help. She had convinced her boss, the twenty-six-year-old, that sheneeded one month to find an assistant. That, she told me, would give her enoughtime to train me in computer layout design.

The office was in the country. We worked at a wooden table with bench in thegarden, the two of us designing six totally different technical journals, andthe boss throwing erasers at us for fun. I stayed there for two years. It wasgreat!

My favorite objects to order at that time were men. After the nine-item wishlist came the improved fifteen-item list. But when that also was not accurateenough, I wanted to be prepared for any contingencies, and put together theenhanced twenty-five-item "male order" list; all quite comprehensive, evenincluding the delivery date. This was in case the "ones on high" should taketheir time. But, the order had a flaw. It is amazing how many model variationsthere are that one doesn't take into account. Although the delivery model hadall twenty-five characteristics, I had more stress with the twenty-five-item guythan I have had with some "zero-item types." The number of items is, apparently,no guarantee of anything.

Only recently, a good friend of mine came up with the glorious idea to simplyorder "the one that is the best match for me at this moment." Either the ideawas so simple I didn't even think of it, or I lacked faith that "the ones onhigh" would come up with something good. This friend of mine, however, isconvinced that his wording was the key, and is highly satisfied with thedelivery that happened three days later.

I am afraid it's a trust issue for me. I secretly accuse the cosmic orderingservice of continuing to leisurely "play the harp" for a while longer beforetaking action, unless I "turn up the pressure" and specify the delivery date.And it is exactly the other way around: The more faith I have, the faster itworks.

By the way, I placed my very first order very romantically, on the balcony inthe moonlight. By now, however, I order from everywhere, and in any which way Iplease. At one time I wanted to have an inexpensive office very close to where Ilive, and I wanted it within the next few days. I placed that order very matter-of-factly,directly from my desk. Three days later my neighbor called me overand offered just such an office to me. You can imagine that I felt just a littleshocked by this rapid delivery. In the end, I didn't take the office as thewhole project for which I needed an office was still up in the air. I hadordered a little too soon.

REMEMBER: Be aware of what you wish for and order; it could come true at once!Otherwise, you may get so wrapped up in placing orders that you lose track ofwhether the things you ordered are really good for you. It is better to pausefor a moment and get in touch with your inner self before placing an order.

One of my especially dear friends always laughs so hard he almost drops thephone when I tell him about...