She’s All That meets What If It’s Us in this New York Times bestselling hate-to-love YA romantic comedy from the coauthor of Five Feet Apart Rachael Lippincott and debut writer Alyson Derrick.
Alex Blackwood is a little bit headstrong, with a dash of chaos and a whole lot of flirt. She knows how to get the girl. Keeping her on the other hand…not so much. Molly Parker has everything in her life totally in control, except for her complete awkwardness with just about anyone besides her mom. She knows she’s in love with the impossibly cool Cora Myers. She just…hasn’t actually talked to her yet.
Alex and Molly don’t belong on the same planet, let alone the same college campus. But when Alex, fresh off a bad (but hopefully not permanent) breakup, discovers Molly’s hidden crush as their paths cross the night before classes start, they realize they might have a common interest after all. Because maybe if Alex volunteers to help Molly learn how to get her dream girl to fall for her, she can prove to her ex that she’s not a selfish flirt. That she’s ready for an actual commitment. And while Alex is the last person Molly would ever think she could trust, she can’t deny Alex knows what she’s doing with girls, unlike her.
As the two embark on their five-step plans to get their girls to fall for them, though, they both begin to wonder if maybe they’re the ones falling…for each other.
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Rachael Lippincott is the coauthor of All This Time, #1 New York Times bestseller Five Feet Apart, She Gets the Girl, Make My Wish Come True, and Joy to the Girls and the author of The Lucky List and Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh. She holds a BA in English writing from the University of Pittsburgh. Originally from Bucks County, Pennsylvania, she currently resides in Pennsylvania with her wife, daughters, and dog, Hank.
Alyson Derrick is the coauthor of New York Times bestseller She Gets the Girl, Make My Wish Come True, and Joy to the Girls and the author of Forget Me Not, which was longlisted for the National Book Award for Young People’s literature. She was born and raised in Greenville, Pennsylvania. Alyson currently resides in Pennsylvania with her wife, daughters, and dog, Hank.
Chapter 1: Alex
CHAPTER 1 ALEX
Every single person in this room is looking at Natalie Ramirez.
The hipster dude clutching an IPA like it’s his firstborn son. The girl wearing a faded Nirvana shirt that screams Urban Outfitters. Brendan, the bartender, too distracted to realize he’s made not one but two rumless rum and Cokes. All of them have their eyes glued to the stage.
I finish wiping up a few water rings clinging to the counter and throw my white bar towel over my shoulder, craning my neck around the sea of people to get a better view.
The stage lights cast an odd purplish hue over everything. Her face is outlined in shades of lilac and violet, and her long black hair shines a deep burgundy. I watch as her hands move up and down the neck of the guitar without so much as a second glance, every fret memorized, the feel of the strings ingrained in her fingertips.
Because while all eyes are on her, Natalie Ramirez is only looking at me.
She gives me a small, secret smile. The same one that gave me butterflies five whole months ago, when her band first performed at Tilted Rabbit.
It was the best performance I’ve seen in the three years I’ve worked here. Being a small local venue, we’ve had our fair share of Alanis Morissette wannabes and weekend warrior cover bands. There was a guy just last week who tried to go full Neutral Milk Hotel and play a saw for an hour straight, the sound so screeching that everyone except my coworkers and his girlfriend left the building.
To be honest, between the iffy music, the weird hours, and the less-than-ideal pay, the turnover rate here is pretty high. I’d have quit ages ago, but… my mom needs money for rent. Plus, I do too, now that I’m leaving for college.
And I guess it’s all right. Because if I had quit, I wouldn’t have been there that night five months ago, and I wouldn’t be here right now, catching Natalie Ramirez’s gaze from behind the bar.
My stomach sinks as I realize this is the last time I’ll hear her play for a while, and even though I try to push that feeling away, it lingers. It sticks around through saying a final farewell to the ragtag crew of coworkers that let me study at the bar on school nights, through waiting for Natalie to get done with her celebratory drinks backstage before her band goes on their first-ever tour next week, and through the two of us veering off to spend my last night here at home exactly how I want to spend it.
With her.
We’re barely through the door of her cramped Manayunk apartment before she’s kissing me, her lips tasting like the cheese pizza and warm beer she has after every show.
It’s a blur of kicked-off Converse shoes and hands sliding up my waist as she pulls off my black T-shirt, the two of us stumbling across the space she escaped to after graduating last year from Central High, the public school just across the city from mine.
This place has pretty much been my escape all summer too, so I lead us effortlessly across the worn wooden floor into her room, dodging her bandmates’ instruments and sheet music and scattered shoes. Her bedsprings squeak as we tumble back onto her messy sheets, the door clicking shut behind us.
The moment is so alive, so perfect, but that feeling I had earlier still sits heavy on my chest. It’s impossible to not think about the bus that will whisk me away to college in the morning. The prickling nervousness I feel over leaving the place where I’ve lived my whole life. My mom, on the other side of the city, probably half a handle of tequila deep after spending the afternoon guilting me over “leaving her” just like Dad left us.
But, most importantly, I want to finally have the conversation I’ve been avoiding. The conversation about how I want to make this work long distance.
I zero in on the feeling of Natalie’s skin under my fingertips, her body pressed up against mine, working up the courage to pull away, to say something, when I feel her soft whisper against my lips.
“I love you.”
I pull her closer, so wrapped up in her that I hardly register what she just said. So wrapped up in what I’m struggling to say that I almost say it back.
More than almost. My mouth forms around the words. “I lo—”
Wait.
My eyes fly open and my heart hammers in my chest as I jerk away, those three words bringing with them a flood of moments much different from this one.
Thrown plates and screaming. My dad stooping down to say “I love you” before he got in the car and drove away, into a new life.
A life without me. Never to be seen or heard from again.
I can’t possibly say them to her now. Not like this. Not when I’m the one leaving.
I see the question in her face illuminated in the glow of the yellow streetlight outside her window, so I quickly disguise my sudden movement by reaching out to run my fingertips along the black strap of her bra.
“I, uh. I loved that new song you guys played tonight,” I whisper, trying my best to cover the words that almost came out of my mouth. I kiss her again, harder now, the kind of kiss that usually ends any conversation. But what she said lingers in the air around us like a thick fog.
“Alex,” she says, pulling her lips off mine. She studies my face, her eyes searching for something.
“Yeah?” I say, avoiding her gaze as I look down at her fingers laced with mine, the chipped black paint on her nails.
“Sometimes…” She lets out a long sigh. “Sometimes I wonder what exactly this is to you.”
I lean back and squint at her, finally meeting her gaze. “What do you mean?”
“I mean my band is going on tour. You’re leaving tomorrow for college. You’re going to be all the way in Pittsburgh,” she says as she sits back and pulls her black hair into a bun, a sign the moment is slipping away. Fast.
There’s a long pause. I can tell she’s still searching. Still waiting for me to say the words she wants me to say. “It’s our last night, and I want to know what we are. That I mean something to you. That this is going to work long distance, and you won’t just ghost me and see other people. That I’m not just…”
Yes. “Natalie.” I scooch closer to her. “I wanted to talk to you about that. I—”
My phone vibrates loudly on the white sheets beneath us, the screen lighting up to show a text from Megan Baker, littered with winky face emojis, and a message reading: HMU if ur ever back in the city!
Natalie squeezes her eyes shut, angry now, like she’s found the answer, but it’s one she didn’t want. “Megan Baker? That girl that plays the triangle in that Fleetwood Mac cover band? For real, Alex?”
“Natalie,” I say as I reach out for her. “Come on. It’s not—”
“No,” she says as she pushes my hands away and stands up, her jaw locking. I notice her hazel eyes are glistening, tears threatening to spill out of the corners. “This is so… typical. This is so fucking typical. I try to get close and you pull this. We’ve been seeing each other for five...
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