Mind

Your mind isn't new to you. You've had it your entire life, right? You've undoubtedly listened to your inner monologue every day of that life. The question is, do you run on "mind autopilot," or are you aware, and choosing to do what your mind says? The more research that I read about the mind, the more fascinated I am. Our minds are amazing in their ability to reason, think, design, create memories, and connect emotions to events, on top of regulating our entire bodies (can you imagine having to think about making your heart beat or breathe? I wouldn't make it 2 minutes). We all form habits, such as our daily morning routine, and our brains form habits of how we typically think as well. Do you know your mental routine? Did you know that you can change how you think? Scientists are learning more about neuroplasticity (the ability to create new neurological connections in the brain), and how changing the way in which we think can quite literally change our lives, our habits, and our health. Now the question becomes, how do you change your thoughts?

Step one: Learn to be aware of your thoughts in the first place.

Awareness starts when you separate consciousness from your thoughts/brain. The trick is to be aware of what is going through your mind, and to not get caught up in it. Learn to stand aside and listen, like you would listen to a "rambling colleague." This process definitely takes time and diligence – your brain will highjack your awareness often before it becomes a routine separation. One moment you will be aware of your mind thinking, "I saw Susie Q yesterday," and the next you are in the memory with Susie Q. Allow yourself time to learn how to separate. Name your brain and your awareness to help create a sense of two separate "people." Ponder over the following questions to help figure out what your brain thinks about:

• When your mind is wandering, what does it think about? To do lists? Worrying about tomorrow, or yesterday? Daydreaming about a beautiful vacation you've wanted?

• What does it tell you to do?

• Is the voice annoying, soothing, irritating, calming, or variable?

• When is your mind the loudest, quietest, testiest, or happiest?

• How does it describe your actions?

• How does it describe the world?

Exercise: Free Writing

Settle into a quiet space with a pen and paper (YES old school!).

Take a deep breath, and then literally write down any thought that runs through your head for the next 10 minutes. Do not worry about grammar, spelling, sentences, or comprehension.

Treat it as a true brain dump of thoughts. By physically writing them, you will foster a connection between your thoughts and your body.

Step two: Do you even like your brain/thoughts?

Imagine your thoughts/brain as a person standing in front of you and speaking your thoughts out loud. Would you consciously say the same exact things your mind says to a real person? If so, wonderful. If not, why allow your brain to say it to you, if you wouldn't say it to someone else? Some questions to ponder:

• Would you choose to be best friends with your mind?

• Would you always listen to the advice it gives?

• Does your mind most often speak to you kindly, or judgmentally?

• Do you trust what it says?

• Do you act upon your thoughts without critically thinking?

• Does your mind sound like a specific person in your life (i.e., a parent, sibling, or teacher)? Do you want to be like that person in real life?

• Do you feel that your mind overrides other influences about decisions regarding your life?

Step three: What is your mind's emotional default mode?

Quite often, we react to situations with a pattern or a habit. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, do you automatically curse, or try to cut them off? Or do you not react at all? Or think, "that's my payment for cutting off someone yesterday?" How does your mind automatically react to others? By giving the benefit of the doubt, or by assuming wrong-doing? What are your typical internal thoughts when you make a mistake? We have many default modes and reactions throughout our daily routines that are mostly controlled by our minds. Do you know your default mode? Think about the following:

• Do you react in a way that is productive, or in a way that causes more drama?

• How would you describe your mind based on what it rambles on about?

• Does it encourage you, or bully you?

• Support you, or try to knock you down?

• Does it believe in miracles, or constantly think that the sky is falling?

• Does its mood depend on circumstance?

• Is your mind nicer when you're in your favorite place?

• How does your mind talk to you at home? At work?

• What is your mind's default mode when a life roadblock occurs?

• Does your mind talk about you in the same way that it assesses others? If not, how is it different?

• When your mind takes over, how do you feel?

• Do you enjoy or become productive when you mind is in control, or is it the opposite?

The miraculous part of a mind is that we can change it. Don't like what your mind rambles on about? Then make a conscious effort to edit what it says. You have total control over your thoughts – you just have to break through your habitual thinking. Become aware of repetitive thoughts, and then kick the mean ones to the curb. Anytime an unwanted thought comes up, stop, and reword the comment to be supportive and positive. Any time a disruptive memory flashes, stop, breathe, and rewrite the memory (our brains can actually do that!).

Is your first thought, "There is no way I can do that?" If so, please introduce yourself to your mind. The very one you must be aware of to adjust. That voice saying, "no," "I can't," "I'm not good enough" is the one you must first become aware of (back to step 1). Once you are aware, then edit the thoughts. You may not be ready to change your habits at this moment. If you do not feel you need to edit your thoughts, you won't, and there is nothing anyone else can say to persuade you. And they shouldn't, because only you are in control of your life and thoughts. However, if you are reading this, chances are you are someone who IS ready to change (or you're a member of my family who felt obligated to read this!). It may take a while to change your habits. If you want to grow, you will, but allow yourself baby steps. Changed one thought today? Congratulate yourself! It's one more than was changed before. Habits are tough to break, and it's very easy to slip back into negative thinking. Best chance you have to win? Persistence, and the ability to give yourself a break. In my...