The Joy Is Inside You

With that in mind, what does joy mean to you? What brings you joy? What makes you feel joyful? For me, it is sitting by the window, watching trees and clouds, listening to soothing music, and writing, as I am doing now. It is being by the ocean, feeling a flower or a butterfly, or feeling my own sensations in the hot baths of Esalen. It is watching my kids grow and seeing their smiles, excitement, hopes, and dreams. It is creating a work of art, turning confusion to clarity, and manifesting a vision to reality. It is mending a broken heart and reigniting a hopeless soul. It is creating intimacy with the other, where egos dissolve and boundaries vanish. It is appreciation of beauty in all its forms.

What takes our joy away? One of the main contributors is worry. Worry comes from fear, insecurity, and not meeting one's expectations. When there is worry, there is no place for joy. All the space is taken by worry and fear. But where does this joy come from in the first place, and how does it vanish all of a sudden? All these external situations that seem to create joy in us create a resonance to our own soul's vibration, so we can see and feel the magic in that moment.

"Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics." — Albert Einstein

Have you noticed that when we are in the state of fear or worry, the same, previously joyful situation does not invoke any joy in us? We are not resonating with that vibration; we are not feeling it. There is no space to allow and take in the magic of the moment. Our minds and bodies are preoccupied with worry and fear. We are carrying the old, heavy baggage of our past as we look at our uncertain and insecure future. But how can we clear ourselves of this fog? How can we free ourselves of this uninvited guest?

Be Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

"This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor ... Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond." — Rumi

We can do it by not running away. By observing, accepting, and realizing. By consciously getting ourselves out of this maze and wake up to our true state of being. By realizing that we cannot change the past, but we can change our perspective of it. We cannot avoid insecurity and fear, but we can learn to be friends with it, take in their guidance, and move forward through action. By realizing that worry is an unhealthy mental reaction to fear and insecurity, which depletes us of our energy and vitality. We always have a choice to make: we can accept the reality as it is, and then we can choose to either shift from the inside or change the outside to a place that feels better to us. Reinhold Niebuhr captured this beautifully in a prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

You may ask, "Is it possible to be in state of joy all the time?" I don't know, but I do know that we can increase the amount of time we enter and stay in joy. That does not mean we won't have any setbacks or challenges in our lives. Rather, we face them with courage and equanimity, and we operate from a state of internal strength and joy. By consciously taking ourselves or our minds away from worry and fear-generating situations, we create space and allow joy to sprout from within. We awaken the joy inside us.

One of the main reasons for losing our joy is losing the connection to our essence. We then start comparing, judging, and doubting, and we lose our anchor, our sense of worth, and our direction. We feel lost, insecure, in need, and trapped in the land of fear and worry. We then seek approval and comfort, feeling a void that needs to be filled by external people or objects. Although this may feel uncomfortable, running away is not a solution. What irritates us often points us to aspects of ourselves that have come to surface for us to address.

Live from Your Essence

Let's explore ways we can connect to our essence. The first requisite is to stay curious about and open to our own experiences. We must see and appreciate the beauty that is in and around us. Beauty points us to our essence. When we don't see the magic in our lives, how can we see the essence of anything, let alone ourselves? Trust that there is a higher force — call it spirit, universe, divine, consciousness — and that we are not separate from it; we are always connected and guided by it. It resides in us, and we reside in it. The problem is not a lack of connection; it is lack of our awareness to the connection. It is ignoring and not trusting its presence.

I am not suggesting blind faith or a fake belief system. Our trust needs to be built on our personal experiences and observations. Not because it is written in scriptures, or even because it is scientifically proven. The only legitimate reason to believe is through observation and integration of our own experiences.

We are often so busy and entangled with life that we take things for granted and don't let our experiences touch our deepest...