Detox Your Mind

Whether you think you can, or think you can't — either way you're right.

— Henry Ford

"I don't plan to die."

I'd just shared my diagnosis with my coworkers, and I sat in silence, watching the waves of emotion wash over each face. There was sadness, there was fear, and there were even some expressions I could not interpret at the time. Every person in that room was uncertain about what would happen to me next. Hell, to be honest, so was I. My diagnosis was still so fresh that it felt surreal. Breast cancer. Surgery. Chemotherapy. I didn't know what was in store for me or my body.

I had every rational cause to feel defeated. Cancer had shown its hideous face in my family before. My grandmother was diagnosed in her late sixties and passed away after a mastectomy and subsequent treatment left her body too weak and ravaged to recover. Like her, millions of other women had been diagnosed with this disease and had not made it through the harsh treatment. I knew this because I'd spent days and hours on the Internet researching my possible fate, taking on the mental and spiritual weight of other women's stories, statistics, and outcomes.

In my heart, I didn't believe I wouldn't survive. But my belief didn't stop my mind and my thoughts from running rampant. If nothing else, this cancer's timing was horrible. I was relatively happy in my military career. I'd just launched my personal training business to help women live healthier lives and love their bodies. I was back in school. At thirty-three years old, my life looked and felt good. I was far from perfect, but I felt I'd lived a decent life. I was the best mother I could possibly be to my son. I'd been a good wife. I supported my family. I prayed and thanked God for His faithfulness even when I felt more burdened than blessed. I was a good person. What did I do to deserve this?

Let the Ping-Pong game begin.

When something unfathomable happens to us — a devastating diagnosis, losing someone we love, a snowballing series of bounced checks — our minds get downright evil. We want to blame somebody, anybody, for what's happening. We compile a mental inventory of everything we've done to anyone that could have bought the force of karma or God's disapproval to our doorstep.

At such times, you recall every mean comment, ugly thought, or failure to return a phone call. The mind bounces from one occurrence to the next, subconsciously convincing you that what's happening to you is your fault, although the rational mind knows nothing could be further from the truth. You feel guilt, shame, and anger in rotating breaths. Your mind bounces from one false belief to the next, searching for anything — everything — to discredit everything you know to be true.

Cue the cruel inner thoughts: "Maybe if I had acted differently or not made the mistakes I made, God wouldn't have punished me with this illness." You get the picture? Let me give you the same fortifying speech I had to give myself: Bad things sometimes happen to good people. Yes, sometimes we create craziness in our lives with bad decisions. But before we start spiraling into emotional despair and losing our minds when life throws us lemons, we should take a step back and remember an undeniable truth: All pain is not punishment.

In your rational, conscious mind, you know the truth. You've watched life happen to enough people, and you've been through enough of your own drama to know better. You know you don't deserve hurt or pain. You know that, despite what you've done in your past, there is more for your life.

But somewhere along your journey, you began to believe the lie that you are not worthy of the best and must settle for a mediocre life because of the poor decisions you made in the past or because of circumstances. In truth, you were created to live a life of abundance. Yes, you!

You cannot live a lie and the truth at the same time. The lie is like an overgrowth of weeds that threatens to overtake your thoughts. You can try your best to contain it, cover it, or destroy it from the surface, but it just continues to spread. And before you know it, something bigger, more significant, creeps in. You may not have realized the sneaky shift when it happened, when fear took over your fate by booting out your faith. It starts with your thoughts, and soon fear has control over your life. A life that once seemed manageable is just the opposite.

Your life lacks purpose. You've lost power. There is nothing left on this earth for you to do. Stop believing the lies!

So how do you reel in the false and get back to truth?

Cancel the noise. A positive attitude has the power to change the world around you. I want you to listen to your thoughts closely, intimately, and honestly. Now tell me what is filling your mind. What are you thinking about yourself? What are you saying to yourself? Do any of these sound familiar?

• Why did this happen?

• This is my fault.

• I'll never ...

• I am not as ...

• I don't have much of a future because ...

Have you ever allowed any of these negative thoughts to infiltrate your thinking? Sure, you have — at one point or another, we all have. But these words and thoughts are pure poison. The negativity bouncing around in your head must be silenced. These are the ideas that invade not just our minds but our spirits too. Once they seep in, negative thoughts leave us confused, crippled, and defeated. If we elevate how we think of ourselves, our actions will follow suit, and our inner champion will come to conquer.

One Sunday I was listening to a sermon from a pastor whom I didn't know at the time. His message was focused on mind-set. I had heard what I thought were similar words before. I was listening to his talk with one ear while multitasking with dishes, laundry, and all that typical weekend household work. But then he said something that immediately caught my attention, and it stopped me in my tracks: "It is time to prosper your thinking."

"Prosper," I thought. And from that moment, the word took on new meaning for me. The pastor was right. To achieve anything measurable in life and succeed in the tasks we set out to accomplish, we tend to think about the physical attributes and the professional skills we need to build up. There are also the matters of money and resources. Typically, we hear prosper in the context of money, wealth, and material possessions. But on that Sunday morning, I realized that our minds, specifically our sentiments toward ourselves and our possibilities, need to prosper too.

Think about it. If you were to prosper your thinking, how would the results play out? If you committed yourself to...