THOUGHT ENERGY EMOTION – CHANGED IN A SPLIT SECOND

From the age of about fifteen to twenty-one, I suffered with extreme depression. Depression is real, I've lived it and nearly ended myself over it. It requires a hell of a lot of energy. They call depression being flat line, and not being able to feel, but you actually feel a hell of a lot, and most of it is negative. Fear, blame, guilt, shame, anger, loss of control, hopelessness.

I was living hell in my mind, every hour of every day. It was like being in a deep, deep hole, with no way of getting out, and a heavy sky above pressing down on me. I was being buried alive, every hour of every day. My mind was living me, and I was utterly self-consumed.

I also suffered with hypochondria and was at the doctor every other day for a blood test, or with some weird ailment that didn't exist. I thought I was dying but the fear of dying was killing me, so I was trying to save myself before I died.

No doctor could help me. My thoughts actually had me believing I had brain tumours, liver disease - pretty much every illness under the sun. I could actually feel pain that didn't exist, but I made that pain exist through my thought. I was searching for reasons to feel like shit. Thought energy with strong emotion held onto for long enough invents our experience, and that's exactly what I was doing.

MY FIRST GIFT

So here I am, age 21, living my mind. I want out of my mind and my thoughts. I am drinking, doing drugs and riding my motor bike like I'm in some kind of Grand Prix. Trying to kill myself, without actually having to do it myself. Something had to give.

I thought it would be death and out of this life here on Earth. Turns out it wasn't my time. One moment I'm flying along, high as can be, the next I'm on the side of the road, my leg torn off from above my knee. I had collided with a car. I lay on the side of the road, feeling a smashing pain in my skull as the blood pumps out of my leg.

The pain is appalling, otherworldly. I really do think I am going to die. And I suddenly know it is not at all what I want. "God," I cry, "please don't let me die".

It is here that I have my first connection with the Universe.

"Jake, you are not going to die".

Instantly, I am calm. Today isn't my day to die. I know it, know it is absolutely true.

As intense and profound as this was, I would dismiss this connection with the Universe for another 20 years. I convinced myself I had made it all up in my mind.

I wake up in hospital, in what would be my home for a while. All these pins are coming out of my leg, or what used to look like a leg. Now it's like something out of an abattoir. I am in real physical trouble here. Suddenly, I know I need to get on with shit. Now I really am sick!

I instantly forget all my past mind troubles and focus on getting better. Looking back now, I realise I didn't even consciously know I was doing it. I concentrated on looking healthy and strong and getting myself out of hospital. My emotion was only on what I wanted to be, not on what I didn't want. I was already fucked, and I didn't want or need more of that.

I wanted my health. I wanted life. My first goal was to get out of my hospital bed and go for a pee on my own. I did this after seven weeks. I remember being so happy and grateful for that. Not once did I care about how much money I had, if I still had a job, what car I had or what was on TV. Judgement and worrying about what others were doing was gone. My brain tumours, liver disease, ringing in the ears and all the bullshit illnesses I made up in my mind were gone. Worrying about what other people thought of me, or didn't think of me became obsolete, not even a thought.

SO, WHAT CHANGED (APART FROM LOSING A KNEE DOWN THE GUTTER)?

Only one thing changed. My vibration. What changed my vibration? My thought. Who I AM. I realise now, I was who I thought I was, but I wasn't. I was living past conditioning, shit that didn't belong to me, other people's rights and wrongs and judgements that were not mine. We can end up living past conditionings that can happen when we are children. I was living others' lives and their thoughts, that I had allowed to become mine. I had allowed myself to be programmed because I had forgotten my truth.

Don't get me wrong. We don't need to have our legs torn off to change our thoughts. This really isn't rocket science.

Physical pain is nothing. Thought energy of the mind is hell! But it is only our thought energy vibration that needs to be tweaked. Like getting a car tuned. We get our vibration idling right first, bit by bit. Then follow the Universal Guide to Happy principles. Thought energy with our truth and remembering who we really are is bliss.

That experience feels like it was yesterday. I can laugh now because it doesn't belong to me anymore. I was living my mind at the time. The thing is, it was real, or at least that's what I let my mind believe.

It would still take me another 20 years of pain, being an arsehole, and my "cliff" experience with God/Universe, to consciously understand what I was doing. I can truthfully say, I don't think I'd be alive now if my motorcycle accident hadn't slowed me down. My leg being torn off was a gift. It sent me on a different path. Without it I probably wouldn't have got this guide. It was meant to be and is part of my soul's journey.

THOUGHT INVENTING

Remember the scene in Star Wars, the first one where the droid R2D2 shoots out the laser beam that creates the hologram of Princess Leia saying, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." This is exactly what we are doing with our thoughts. They are the beam, and our emotion, depending on its strength, creates the hologram. The hologram symbolises our physical manifestation and life experience that we are inventing with our thoughts and emotion.

So, the first thing we must become aware of is that our thoughts invent everything that we experience. When we realise our thoughts invent everything, we are immediately conscious and start to wake up. Get through this first chapter and there will be lights flicking on everywhere, and it gets really easy.

From a very early age we know what the wind is. It's so second nature to know. None of us have ever seen it, but we absolutely know that the wind exists. We see how it moves the leaves on a tree or fills a yacht's sail to push it through the water. We feel it...