Ask Three Questions

We'll begin with what may be the most important component to giving an effective speech: asking the right questions. There are three very simple questions your talk, speech, or sermon should be built upon: why? who? and what?

Why?

When I'm asked to give a speech, talk, or sermon outside of my home church, I want to know, Why am I being asked to speak? Why me? Why are others being asked to listen to me? The underlying question is really about the purpose, aim, or mission of the talk. Sometimes those who ask you to speak aren't clear about the answers to these questions. They may say, "Well, we needed someone to talk at our event and we heard you're a good speaker." Sometimes they follow this with, "You can talk on anything you want to, just be inspirational!" Here's what I've found: The less clarity I have around the purpose, the mission, the goal, or the why of a talk I'm going to give, the harder it is to prepare and the less effective my talk is. The greater clarity I have around the mission or purpose of the talk, the more likely I am to feel the talk was effective.

When someone isn't clear about the why of the talk they hope I'll give, I'll spend time trying to help them work through this. I may begin by asking them to describe the mission of their organization and the purpose of the particular event where I'll be speaking.

For preachers preparing and delivering a weekly message for their local church, the sermon should serve the mission, vision, and goals of the local church. For those who speak in the workplace, it is critically important that your presentations and talks align with the mission and purpose of your organization. If you are in charge in your organization, and speaking, you must answer these essential questions for yourself — no one else will answer them for you.

Who?

Once you are clear about the mission or purpose, of both the group you are speaking to and the particular speech you are going to give, your next step is to know to whom you will be speaking. What will be on their hearts and minds as you speak to them? What might they need to hear from you? I find this is an easier task with the congregation I serve, since I know them well. It requires more homework when I'm speaking to groups with which I'm less familiar.

I was recently asked to give a ten-minute talk to caregivers in the community — therapists, pastors, rabbis, and others who devote a great deal of their time to caring for people who struggle. I knew that the people in this audience often feel burned-out and overwhelmed from bearing the burdens of others. As I began to work on my talk, I thought about what I might share that would offer encouragement to this particular group and their unique situation. Know your audience, understand the challenges they face, and consider the questions and concerns they are wrestling with. This will enable you to offer a timely and relevant message.

When President Franklin Delano Roosevelt delivered his first inaugural address in 1933 the country was in the midst of the Great Depression. Fear had gripped the nation and hopelessness was in the air. What Roosevelt knew was that he needed to calm these fears, reassure the country, and communicate to the nation that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Eighty years later, we still recall these words as some of the most compelling in any inaugural address, but they were written in response to FDR's clear understanding of people's needs.

What?

Finally, in light of the why and the who, I begin looking for the what. I begin asking, "What do I want my hearers to know? What do I want them to feel or experience? And what do I want them to do in response to this message?" These questions correspond to the head, the heart, and the hands. You may recognize them as three of the four Hs of the 4-H clubs. The founders of 4-H believed that people learn and develop best when they engage their heads (intellect), hearts (emotions), and hands (action). This premise is important for speakers as well. Answer the what question, and you're more likely to include material that resonates with more people, on multiple levels, in multiple ways. You'll also be ready to begin writing your speech with a strong and focused idea of what your content should include.

As a speaker you should know why you are speaking, you should understand the people to whom you are speaking, and you should be clear about what you want those people to know, feel, and do as a response to your message.

Think Less Me, More We

Among the most often used words in our vocabulary are I, Me, and My. Effective speakers minimize the use of those self-oriented words in favor of We, Us, and Our.

If I, Me, and My dominate your speaking, you'll sound more self-absorbed than you actually are (or maybe your speaking betrays the fact that you are more self-absorbed than you realize). It is off-putting to many people. It also diminishes your audience, making them passive listeners instead of active participants. It is as if you're saying, "Just sit there and listen; this is all about me!"

I remember some years ago a national political leader who used I far more than he should have. Even his friends cringed at times, but most were unwilling to tell him. Those in his own political party often found his language irritating. For his political opponents, it was like hearing someone scratch their fingernails down a chalkboard. It gave people the impression that he was egotistical and that he didn't need or care about them. This is how our hearers react when we use I, Me, and My instead of We, Us, and Our.

There are times when you will need to use I, Me, and My language. It can't be avoided entirely, and there are times when telling your own story is important. The most effective use of first-person language is when you are sharing your own shortcomings to illustrate a principle, or when you are poking fun at yourself. Though this can also be effective when emphasizing your own experience or convictions.

Excellent speakers try to avoid being the hero of their own stories. Again, at times you can't avoid it. The best illustration...