1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting - Softcover

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Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author, and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. A registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr. Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.

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Welcome to 1-2-3 Magic

Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world, and it can also be one of life's most enjoyable experiences. Small children are engaging, affectionate, entertaining, curious, full of life, and fun to be around. For many adults, parenting provides profound and unique benefits unequaled by any other area of life.

Yet being a mom or a dad can also be unbelievably frustrating. Repeat the Twinkie scene more than a thousand times and you have guaranteed misery. In extreme but all-too-common situations, that misery can become the source of emotional and physical abuse. That's no way for anyone—child or adult—to live.

Children don't come with a How-To-Raise-Me training manual. That's why there is a program like 1-2-3 Magic. The 1-2-3 program is currently being used all over the world by millions of parents (including single and divorced), teachers, grandparents, day care centers, babysitters, summer camp counselors, hospital staff, and other child caretakers, all of whom are working toward the goal of raising happy, healthy children.

The 1-2-3 program is also being taught and recommended by thousands of mental health professionals and pediatricians. At parent-teacher conferences, teachers recommend 1-2-3 Magic to the parents of their students (and sometimes parents recommend 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers to the teachers!).

Why all the enthusiasm? As one parent put it, "1-2-3 Magic was easy to learn and it gave me results. I went back to enjoying my kids and being the kind of mother I knew I could be." More than twenty-five years after the launch of the program, we're hearing from parents today who say, "My kids were great kids and now they're nice adults. We enjoy being with them."

1-2-3 Magic helps children grow up to be self-disciplined adults who are competent, happy, and able to get along with others. In other words, it helps produce emotionally intelligent people—people who can manage their own feelings as well as understand and respond to the emotions of others.

The methods described in this book are easy to master and you can start the program right away. Depending on whether you use the book, the audio CD, or the two DVDs, the technique takes about three to four hours to learn. Anyone can use 1-2-3 Magic—all it takes is determination and commitment!

How to Get Started

When you finish learning the 1-2-3 Magic program it is a good idea to start practicing it immediately. Talk with your spouse or partner, if both of you are living at home, and then get going right away. If you are a single parent, take a deep breath and then explain the drill to your children. Do the same thing if you're a grandparent. If you don't start right away, you may never get around to it.

After learning 1-2-3 Magic, you will know exactly what to do, what not to do, what to say, and what not to say in just about every one of the common, everyday problem situations you run into with your kids. Because 1-2-3 Magic is based on only a few basic but critical principles, you will not only be able to remember what to do, you will be able to do it when you are anxious, agitated, or otherwise upset (which for many of us parents is every day!). You will also be able to be a kind but effective parent when you are busy, in a hurry, or otherwise preoccupied.

What to Expect When You Begin the 1-2-3 Program

When you start 1-2-3 Magic, your relationship with your children will change quickly. But there is good news and bad news. The good news is that initially about half of all kids will fall into the "immediate cooperator" category. You start the program and they cooperate right away—sometimes "just like magic." What do you do? Just relax and enjoy your good fortune!

The bad news is that the other half of the kids will fall into the "immediate tester" category. These children will get worse first. They will challenge you to see if you really mean business with your new parenting ideas. If you stick to your guns, however—no arguing, yelling, or hitting—you will get the vast majority of these little testers shaped up fairly well in about a week to ten days. Then what do you do? You start enjoying your children again.

Believe it or not, you may soon have a much more peaceful home and more enjoyable kids. You will go back to liking and respecting yourself as a parent—and it can all happen in the foreseeable future!

Before we get into the details of the 1-2-3 program and Parenting Job 1, controlling obnoxious behavior, we should identify some very important concepts that are the fundamental to understanding how 1-2-3 Magic works:

1.The most effective orientation to—or philosophy of—parenting (chapter 1).

2.The three basic parenting jobs (chapter 2).

3.The dangerous assumption parents, teachers, and other caretakers often make about young children (chapter 3).

4.The two biggest discipline mistakes made by adults (chapter 4).