Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

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9781491514139: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?

In this terrifically insightful and engaging audiobook, renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look at how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right—a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong.

Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it. Be advised: You will never be able to shun blame quite so casually again.

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From the Back Cover:

Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were made but not in this book! Daniel Gilbert, author of "Stumbling on Happiness" Why is it so hard to say I made a mistake and really believe it? When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by "Me") "offers a fascinating explanation of self-justification how it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it. This updated edition features new examples and concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves. A revelatory study of how lovers, lawyers, doctors, politicians and all of us pull the wool over our own eyes . . . Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and if we re honest ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer. Francine Prose, "O, The Oprah Magazine" CAROL TAVRIS is a social psychologist, lecturer, and writer. Her books include "Anger "and "The Mismeasure of Woman. "She has written op-eds, reviews, and articles for the "Los Angeles Times, "the "New York Times, "the "Wall Street Journal, "the "Times Literary Supplement, "and many other publications. She lives in Los Angeles. ELLIOT ARONSON, one of the world s most eminent social psychologists, has received numerous awards for his scientific research, teaching, and writing. His books include" The Social Animal, Nobody Left to Hate, "and his memoir, "Not by Chance Alone. "He lives in Santa Cruz, California."

From the Inside Flap:

"Tavris and Aronson have combined their formidable skills to produce a gleaming model of social insight and scientific engagement. Make no mistake, you need to read this book." -- Robert B. Cialdini, author of Influence: Science and Practice

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?

In this terrifically insightful, engaging new book, renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right— a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it. Turn the page, but be advised: You will never be able to shun blame quite so casually again.

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