The Empath, or highly sensitive, artistic, intuitive person, wants bonded, happy family relationships, a soul mate partnership, and a career involving her creativity. Yet many times the Empath becomes caught in an unhealthy family system or group and is unable to have enough energy for herself to achieve her dreams. This book describes the Empath as the Enneagram Type Four in relationship to the Fan, the Enneagram Type Six, and the Hero, the Enneagram Type Three. The Fan-Hero Family System is a common, stable dynamic. However, Empaths can lose themselves within such a system when the Fans and Heroes concentrate on the image of Family rather than the reality of relationships within the Family. Empaths attempting to break free of such families can become confused and disillusioned. Included are examples of interactions between Types and their typical Shadows in such families. The author, Elaine La Joie, has spent more than ten years as a shaman and certified life coach specifically helping Empaths with their personal transformation so they can create happier, more fulfilled lives and relationships. The Empath and the Fan-Hero Family System is the fifth in the series, Empath as Archetype in which Elaine shows her clients how overarching patterns common to Empaths and their family members can change using shamanic perspectives and healing techniques including Soul Retrieval, Underworld Work, and Generational Imprint Healing. Other volumes in this series: The Empath and the Archetypal Drama Triangle, The Empath and Shamanic Energy Work, Motivations of the Empath, and The Empath and Shadow Work. Each volume builds on previous volumes. Visit Elaine's website at www.elainelajoie.com for more resources for Empaths.
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The Empath and the Fan-Hero Family System is a collection of essays that I began writing back in 2007 for my clients. I wanted to publish these in book form so that more people could understand the nature of Group Shadow and how it plays out in relationships from an Empath's shamanic perspective. Originally these essays were to appear in a large volume called The Empath as Archetype. I needed to introduce disparate subjects such as the Drama Triangle, the Enneagram, and Shamanic Energy Work and Shadow Work in order to explain the transformation that could happen during client sessions, but I wasn't sure how to organize such a large book. So, I published small ebooks separately, first on my website, and then on Amazon.com, intending to someday put these essays together in one volume.
The Empath and the Archetypal Drama Triangle is meant to be read first, even if the reader is familiar with the Drama Triangle. The Empath and Shamanic Energy Work is meant to be read next. Motivations of the Empath is meant to be read after the Shamanic Energy Work book. The Empath and Shadow Work should be read after the first three books are understood. Before reading the Family System book, I recommend reading the first four books at least twice to make sure the reader is comfortable with the material. Please do not read the Family System book as a stand alone book. It will be difficult to understand and will trigger the reader's own Shadow without the information from the first four books.
In The Empath and the Fan-Hero Family System I describe the Shadow of a typical family in the United States. By all appearances this is a loving, supportive family, and it is. However, the unseen, unwanted Shadow causes relationship problems within the family, including soul loss and divorce. The dynamics of the group require family members to act out roles instead of operate from their soul-directed selves. In this particular case, which will be familiar to many Empaths, the soul-directed self is unwelcome when it does not fit in with the family rules and dynamic. We follow an Empath and her partner in how they come to understand their own personal Shadow, the Shadows of family members, and what is required to free themselves of unwanted roles and expectations so that they can be free to live their own lives. Some psychologists who have read this book describe the case study as a typical one between the Empath and a narcissist. I do not have a psychology background, but I am happy I can validate my readers' personal experience and give them further insight into their family pattern from a shamanic perspective.
My books give examples of deep personal work, which can be emotionally difficult, draining, and confusing for the client, but even for the reader since most Empaths will find much in common with my clients. They are not easy reads, but the information they provide can be transformational for Empaths ready and willing to change their lives as hundreds of my clients have done.
For my clients and my readers who have transformed their lives into much happier and fulfilled ones, you have my deepest respect and my gratitude for allowing me to be a part of your journey. Thank you for allowing me to work with you from a distance. Much love, Elaine.
From Elaine's Editor:
This is a deep and extensive exploration of our family systems and how they impact us in ways we may not even understand until much later in life. There is invaluable information in this volume that it will undoubtedly offer both support and awakening to anyone who reads it. As mentioned in other reviews, I first worked with Elaine many years agao and now regularly refer to Elaine La Joie's work for both my clients and myself and this volume will be at the top of the list.
Her main case study, which forms the basis of this volume, shows clearly how we may act out our preprogrammed role dictated to us by our family system to our own detriment, as well as to the detriment of the people we love. La Joie brings us into the world of this family and deftly shows us the roles that the system predetermines, and illustrates each person's shadow along with their (sometimes missed) opportunity for healing.
Of particular interest for Empaths is how we may lose ourselves in this type of family dynamic, becoming a scapegoat or a psychic garbage pail for others and not realizing what is happening. La Joie offers the Empath a road map for staying conscious and staying out of (or at least extricating ourselves more quickly) from these situations. Understanding The Fan and The Hero will unquestionably help those in this family system - and anyone dealing with these types of people - understand their motivations and potential outcomes of interactions.
The acknowledgement that this is not easy work, and that sometimes in order to truly create the life we want, we may have to free ourselves from our family systems, may be difficult to process. But it's essential. La Joie takes what might feel like a maze and takes the reader on a guided, illuminating journey to the exit.
Elaine La Joie is a shaman and certified life coach. She has been in private practice since 2002 helping Empaths heal old traumas and patterns so that they can create the lives and relationships that they really want. Before Elaine opened her practice she worked at the University of Texas Austin in the psychology department and at the Oregon Medical Laser center as a researcher. Elaine holds degrees in physics and applied physics. She realized a few years into this career path that she was jealous of the others researchers who loved their careers. This, plus a psychic opening led her in a completely new and unexpected direction. Not wanting to advertise as a psychic, Elaine went into Life Coaching instead. She trained with Coach For Life, became certified, and then was horrified when all her clients started asking for readings and training. After a few more years of resistance Elaine trained with the Four Winds Society and later with Marv Harwood of Alberta Canada. Elaine maintains a limited private practice so she can concentrate on writing. She lives in Oregon with her family. Visit Elaine’s website at www.elainelajoie.com for more client stories and resources for Empaths.
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