CHAPTER 1

THE DEFINITION OFCOMMUNICATION

Communication is the sharing and understanding of information. It is thesingle most critical skill needed for problem-solving and team success. Thediagram below shows the transmission or exchange of ideas, information,etc., through speech.

This example is a perfect example of effective communication, which willbe talked about in a later chapter. To communicate is to listen while theother individual talks without any interruptions. Let's look at the followingdialog:

Jesus - Give me to drink.

The Samaritan Woman - How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink ofme, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings withthe Samaritans.

Jesus - If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee,Give me to drink; thou would have given thee living water.

The Samaritan Woman - Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the wellis deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? Art thou greaterthan our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself,and his children, and his cattle?

Jesus - Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoeverdrinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the waterthat I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up intoeverlasting life.

The Samaritan Woman - Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neithercome hither to draw.

Jesus - Go, call thy husband, and come hither.

The Samaritan Woman - I have no husband.

Jesus - Thou hast well said, I have no husband: in that saidst thou truly.

The Samaritan Woman - Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. Ourfathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is theplace where men ought to worship.

Jesus - Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in thismountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. Ye worship ye knownot what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. But thehour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship theFather in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spiritand in truth.

The Samaritan Woman - I know that Messias cometh, which is calledChrist: when he is come, he will tell us all things.

Jesus - I that speak unto thee am he.

(This conversation is a complete communication.)

To prove that it was a perfect effective communication is shown by itsresult – read verses 28-39 of St. John 4. This communication changed thewoman of Samaria to a great Missionary of Jesus. Communication meansmoving toward others rather than away from them. It means speaking andbehaving in such a way that a person's life is focused toward relationship.Effective communication is that style of interacting that moves peopletoward friendship and intimacy.

The Meaning of Interpersonal Communication

Communication involves the reciprocal process in which messages aresent and received between two or more people. This book focuses on thecommunication exchange between you, our spouse, your family and others.Communication can either facilitate the development of a good relationshipor create barriers. There are two parts to face-to-face communication; theverbal expression of the sender's thoughts and feelings, and the non-verbalexpression:

(1) Verbally - cognitive and affective messages are sent through words,voice inflection and rate of speech; and

(2) Non-verbally – message are conveyed by eye movements, facialexpressions and body language.

Senders determine what message they want to transmit to the receiverand encode their thoughts and feelings into words and gestures. Senders'messages are transmitted to the receiver through sound, sight, touch andoccasionally through smell and taste.

Receivers of the messages have to decode the verbal and non-verbaltransmission to make sense of the thoughts and feelings communicatedby senders. After decoding the senders' words, speech patterns, and facialand body movements, the receivers encode return messages either verballythrough words, or non-verbally through gesture.

In an interaction between two people, each person is both a senderand a receiver and alternates between these two roles. When sendersare speaking, they are also receiving messages from the person who islistening. Listeners not only are receiving speakers' messages but also aresimultaneously sending messages.

An important function of communication is to transmit messagesfrom one person to another. The real purpose of communication is tocreate meaning. Senders of messages wish to convey meaning to receiversand vice versa. With this intent, senders choose certain words and gesturesin a way that they believe is congruent with their intended messages. Thesenders' objective is to transmit a message that is clear and understandableto receivers.

The purpose of communication does not stop there. The real purposeof creating the understanding in another person is to influence the otherperson to effect some change. The sender attempts to persuade the receiverto respond to the senders' requests.

CHAPTER 2

THE IMPORTANCE OFCOMMUNICATION

Communication brings family together, and it keeps marriages in tack,which makes a better marriage. Communication is important because theBook of Genesis speaks directly about God as the communicator: Godsaid, "Let there be light." (Genesis 1:3) God spoke a word. God used thevehicle of words; the medium of spoken communication, to effect creation.It was a word that took away the darkness and brought light to the blackconfusion. It was a word that gathered the great bodies of water. It was aword that encouraged birds to fly and animals to crawl. It was a word thatput life into seeds and flavored the fruits. And in a final burst of intimatecommunication, it was a word that called forth the...