UNDERSTANDING The Box

LIFE IS HUMOROUS

It is almost a "scream" when we see someone getting in over their heads as if they "can't wait to get there". We want to yell, "Watch out!"

When we see the whole picture, if we look closely, we can see them headed into trouble carrying trouble with them. Yep, we get ourselves into all kinds of boxed-in situations, but we also arm ourselves with the ability to box others in as well.

It is hilarious to watch the roller-coaster-like and relentless pursuit of finding the right box and winning both in it and with it at the same time. Yet, as humorous as it looks to others, it looks even funnier as we become deadly serious in chasing down our victory in The Box.

Children/youth can get "boxed in" by all the things they are told to do and all the methods used to get them to do those things. It is easy for parents to over-protect or over-control their children/youth, and to basically use the same methods at later ages they used when the kids were younger. Teachers are taught to use various behavior modification techniques, such as "assertive discipline" (etc.), primarily to control those students who are fairly undisciplined -- unfortunately it imprisons those who might be more easily motivated by other means. Their peers also use similar methods to attract and control them. For some, the feeling of being boxed-in comes from abusive forms of power and guilt used to force compliance.

Freedom is one of the growing needs of youth and adults. A steady diet or abusive forms of over-protection or over-control are extremely stressful and can lead to high feelings of victimization, which causes many to suffer in adulthood. I feel that God revealed The Box to me as a visual model for looking at what impacts the motivation of learners – children, youth and adults. He revealed it to me as I tried to help parents and teachers of Head Start children.

[] The Box is not bad in and of itself.

[] A steady diet or abusive forms of The Box are harmful.

[] Victimized thinking and co-dependencies result from too much of The Box.

[] Our lives can get "Boxed In" by our own victimized thinking.

[] We need strategies to cope with and get beyond The Box.

The early pages of this book define The Box and discuss the various implications of its use. You will be able to assess how much it plays a part in your life, including how you react to it as well as how you rely on it to control situations and others – as a parent, teacher, leader or counselor. Later pages will give your ideas and strategies for living beyond The Box.

LIFE IS HUMOROUS

Getting boxed-in happens to young and old alike. We often hear young people say, "I can't wait until I grow up so I can be my own boss". We want to scream at them that they will run the risk of becoming their own worst enemy.

BOSS SPELLED BACKWARD IS A DOUBLE SOB!

It doesn't matter what age we happen to be, we can become boxed-in by others and by ourselves. Living beyond The Box is all part of our persis