IS THERE A WILD ANIMAL WITHIN YOU? He’s a high school PE teacher. A water-polo player, a surfer, a swimmer. He spends his winters in San Francisco, working and living in the city, and his summers in the mountains, backpacking and hunting and fishing and living off the land. Engaged to be married now, Toby McAllister knows that being gone all summer is off the table. How long is he going to be gone? A couple of weeks. A couple of weeks? Toby can’t give his fiancée a definitive answer. “That’s exactly the opposite of what this is all about,” he explains to her. He’s going to get away from things: going to get away from schedules, going to get away from tasks, going to get away from having to do certain things by certain times. He’s returning to the wilds where he can just live for a while, the way man was meant to live, though in the end he finally consents to be gone for no more than three weeks. What can he do about it? He loves her, and he’s moving into a new phase of life now. Heading off on the trail, glad to be on the trail, Toby can’t shake the feeling that someone is watching him. Someone, or something. Watching him, and following him. He turns around several times and looks back, but maybe this is just getting used to the wilds again. Or maybe it’s a bobcat tracking him, like he’d been tracked by a bobcat once before. What Toby doesn’t know is that he’s about to embark on the greatest adventure that he’s ever been on in his life --- an adventure from which he may never return.
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I write because of the fragility of our existence. I write because it's my answer to impermanence. I write because it helps me stay connected to my heart. I write because we’re all different, and so much the same. I write because the world needs more tenderness. I write because I'm tired of secrets. I write because it’s my path to redemption. I write because I've forsaken those that I love. I write because I want to know myself. I write because I want to know you. I write because I'm drawn towards things I shouldn't do. I write because every flower is meant to bloom. I write because life is full of paradoxes. I write because I’ve had to leave friends behind. I write because it's my form of prayer. I write because, when I write, I lose track of time. I write because I've walked dark streets looking for love. I write because of the way the sublime slips away from words. I write because of the twice shy part of once burned. I write because it helps me learn. I write because there are plenty of people who have written, famous well-published people, literary figures, literary giants, and I didn't like what they wrote. I write because I'm always telling myself stories anyhow. I write because I don't know all of the reasons I write. I write for you. I write. I write. I write. www.tscottmcleod.com
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