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THE LOST AND FOUND BOX

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Contents

CHAPTER ONE WHERE DID I GO AND WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?............................................................................1How Do You Find Yourself? Make a Plan...........................................................................................8Start Small.....................................................................................................................13What Keeps You From Being Passionate About Yourself?............................................................................15Your Career Path................................................................................................................17If You Can't Find the Answer....................................................................................................19Don't Hang On To What Is Not Working............................................................................................21What Does This Have To Do With Your Relationships?..............................................................................25Self-Sabotage and Escape........................................................................................................25Avoidance Behaviors.............................................................................................................30Developing Resentment...........................................................................................................34Anxiety and Depression..........................................................................................................36Loss of Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect...................................................................................37Letting Yourself Go.............................................................................................................38What Are The Benefits of Finding Myself?........................................................................................39SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................42CHAPTER TWO WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS: YOU OR I?.....................................................................45What Is Keeping You From Your Happiness?........................................................................................47So What Is Keeping You from Your Happiness?.....................................................................................51Your Bad Attitude...............................................................................................................52Your Appearance.................................................................................................................53Your Baggage....................................................................................................................54The Benefits of Being Happy.....................................................................................................57How Do I Make Myself Happy?.....................................................................................................58On the Outside..................................................................................................................60On the Inside...................................................................................................................61Do What Makes You Feel Good.....................................................................................................61Surround Yourself with Happiness................................................................................................62Happiness and needs.............................................................................................................62Why It's Important to Take Control of Your Happiness............................................................................69SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................71CHAPTER THREE COMMUNICATING WHAT'S INSIDE THE RELATIONAL BOX...................................................................73Communication Safety............................................................................................................74SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................101CHAPTER FOUR EMERGENCE FROM INVISIBILITY: OFFERING AND ACCEPTING UNCONDITIONAL TRUTH...........................................103People Pleasers.................................................................................................................112People Who Believe Their Truth Is Universal.....................................................................................115What If You Don't Have ALL the Answers..........................................................................................118Finding Other "Stuff" in the Lost and Found Box.................................................................................121and Working on the Negative.....................................................................................................124SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................127CHAPTER FIVE EMERGING FROM INVISIBILITY AND THE COURAGE TO CHANGE..............................................................129Why Failing Is Important to Success.............................................................................................133Yourself........................................................................................................................137Being Proud of Me...............................................................................................................139SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................142CHAPTER SIX BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER ... HOW FINDING MYSELF ALLOWS ME TO CREATE THE RELATIONSHIP I DESERVE.....................145SELF-REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS........................................................................................157

Chapter One

Anonymous

People spend inordinate amounts of time, money, and emotion trying to figure out how to be true to themselves. They buy books, attend costly self-help workshops, and confide in experts as they try to find out who they really are. Many people assume that being true and honest with themselves will allow them to be happy in their intimate relationships. They assume that the process of exploring themselves will bring forth a higher level of satisfaction. Moreover, it is assumed that not having a sound understanding of oneself may increase the likelihood of being dissatisfied and possibly emotionally stagnant in relationships. If your partner would be okay...