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Learning to Begin Again

Trafford Publishing

Contents

Dedication...............................................................vAuthor Note..............................................................ixAcknowledgements.........................................................xiIntroduction.............................................................xiiiPart I Congratulations and Welcome.......................................1Part II Assessing Progress...............................................93Part III Reassessment, Reevaluation and Recommitting.....................185Part IV Renewal..........................................................211Part V Love, Wisdom Courage (Part 2).....................................313Appendix A. Thirteen Core Principles.....................................379Bibliography and Suggested References....................................381

Chapter One

DAY 1—HUMILITY

"Rather to bow than to break is profitable;/ Humility is a thing commendable." (Anonymous)

PREMISE

To live effectively, one needs to understand and ultimately accept, boundaries, limits and impediments. Primarily the issue for mental health and wellbeing is to distinguish between what you can and can't control. To be humble is to value yourself and understand your limits. Through humility you view the world realistically and therefore, more effectively. Weaknesses exist as learning opportunities. Each interaction, every thought and feeling, at any moment, can serve as a clue to answer where, when and how we are to proceed. The necessary components to decipher such clues are intent to learn and to do the next best thing as well as awareness of our surroundings and the effects of our thoughts, feelings and actions.

INTENTION

I will begin to realize that I am responsible for my life and my current situation. Humility will guide me in deciding my path. I will ask for help and support. I will learn that there is a power beyond me whether that is in a person, group or philosophy. I am responsible and I can choose. I have the strength to embark on this journey because I now know that true power resides behind my eyes not in front of them.

AWARENESS

Today, I will be aware of what I can and can't control as well as the effects of my behavior and decisions those I love and myself. I can make so I shall choose carefully. W. T. Watts, Ph.D.

DAY 2—GRATITUDE

"All is beautiful and life is thankfulness." (Guilin Song)

PREMISE

Gratitude is an essential component to the joy of life. Although it is generally defined as "thankfulness", gratitude comes from the Latin word "pleasing." We become grateful for something that pleases us and it pleases others when we express our thankfulness. Most importantly, gratitude requires an awareness or acknowledgement by one person about the beneficial and beneficent actions of another. Such awareness is propagated by humility. Once we appreciate our need for others and once we begin to trust in the life-affirming plan of the Cosmos, we generate a process wherein we see the gifts and bounty bestowed on us every moment of each day.

INTENTION

I can and will begin my progression towards gratitude. I will start viewing the world and my place in it from a perspective of unity and "we", rather than the narrow self-centered view of my past. I will intend, starting today, to see life as beneficent and fulfilling rather than malevolent and depriving. I have the power to choose to free myself from the self-created chains of regret, despair and resentment that keep me stagnant and filled with self-pity.

AWARENESS

For today, I plan to seek opportunities to express my gratitude to those around me and to my Higher Power for the help and insight offered for my growth. I will be aware of their reactions as well as my own feelings during this new endeavor.

DAY 3—ACCEPTANCE

"All pain comes from a futile search for what you want, insisting that it must be." A Course in Miracles (1976)

PREMISE

Acceptance guides us and is instrumental in the achievement of growth and contentment. It requires the courage, trust and humility to surrender to what is, so that each skill or trait (humility, gratitude, acceptance and patience) builds upon and reinforces the other. For wisdom, love and courage (our ultimate goals) to operate effectively in daily living, we must choose to accept that which we cannot control. The fact is that despite our wishes to the contrary, we control very little. Exercising the trait of acceptance, therefore, allows us to avoid a great deal of distress caused by our delusion of power.

An integral part of acceptance is forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us from the anger and resentment we choose to live in. This negative force is used as an excuse to avoid the self-responsibility of growth and progress. We often prefer to "romance" negative thoughts of revenge and retaliation rather than to face our obligation to advance and to become the person we were created to be. Acceptance allows us to move on.

INTENTION

I have the strength, courage and endurance, right now, to make a decision to change the course of my life. I choose to trust in the plan of a Higher Power. I may not know either the plan or the source of guidance, at this time, but I do know that my past efforts have only brought me dissatisfaction, distress and depression. Now is the time to change and now is the time to act.

AWARENESS

Today I will focus on what I can change. I can start with my attitude and my acceptance of a new plan.

DAY 4—PATIENCE/TRUST

"How poor are they that have not patience? What wound did ever heal but by degrees?" (Othello, Act 2, William Shakespeare)

PREMISE

Patience is one of the four pillars or spiritual traits that sustains love, wisdom and courage. It is a compassionate quality that emanates from and yet reinforces, humility, gratitude and acceptance. As such it helps create a continuing cycle of wellness and spirituality. Patience is the caring, nurturing mother, caressing and reassuring the growing child. It is the feeling of security that soothes the "child- self" and says that no matter the frustration or disappointment all will be well if I just trust in the goodness in life's process. All things work out, maybe not as we expect or would like, but, as they should for the Good of all.

INTENTION

I can generate the imagination and trust to choose patience over anger and frustration in my daily interactions. I now realize that a conflict that frustrates and frightens me is simply something that I wish were different but that I can't control. I can face my fear of uncertainty and ineffectiveness with acceptance. I can trust that things will be okay and that there are lessons to be learned.

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