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OBSTACLES, LESSONS, & HOPE

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Contents

Dedication......................................................ixIntroduction....................................................xiChapter 1 Family Of Four........................................1Chapter 2 Mother With Aids......................................7Chapter 3 Amazing Jazmine.......................................12Chapter 4 My Brother And I......................................21Chapter 5 Life Without A Man....................................30Chapter 6 Growing Up With My Grandma............................39Chapter 7 The Anger Within Me...................................49Chapter 8 The Turning Point And Finding God.....................55Chapter 9 High School...........................................61Chapter 10 Partying And Drinking................................71Chapter 11 Love And Relationships...............................79Chapter 12 Fighting The Weight Battle...........................89Chapter 13 The New Beginning....................................95

Chapter One

My name is Isaiah Jamal Borgum. I was born in Sioux Falls South Dakota on January 25, 1989 to a woman named Pamela Marie Borgum—my father unknown. When I was born, my mother and grandma were trying to figure out what they should name me. They had many ideas, but the most consistent name they kept coming back to was Isaiah. At that time the Pastor from our church always came to the hospital to bless the families before the new baby went home. When Pastor asked what my name was, my mom and grandma said that they weren't sure. Pastor said "I think Isaiah Jeremiah is a nice name." My grandma and mom looked at each other in amazement because Isaiah had been the named they had thought about the most. Strange, they thought, how even the pastor proposed that they should name me Isaiah. So that became my name—Isaiah Jamal Borgum.

I wasn't the only one born into this family. On October 23rd 1990 my younger brother Seth William Benjamin was born. He is something else. We still do not have the greatest relationship in the world. In fact we barely have a relationship at all. Growing up we would always fight. We'd have arguments to the point we would want to kill each other. We absolutely couldn't stand each other, and we really don't know why. That's just the way it was. We were two totally different people and couldn't see eye to eye on anything at all. We had one thing in common, though, and that was our mother. You see, we are not full brothers. He is my half brother—same mom but different dads. Never the less he is still my brother. Everyone would say "Isaiah, you should love your brother. You should be a good example for him, show him right from wrong." I know that's what you're supposed to do for your younger brother, but for some reason I couldn't. It was just too hard. There was something inside of me that honestly didn't care if he lived or died. I know it was wrong but I couldn't help it. We just had a really bad communication system between us. When he was little, Seth was always good.

I can't forget about my little sister, Jazmine Marie, who was born February 10th 1992. She was the apple of my eye and my everything. She means the world to me, the only girl in my life who never hurt me and was always there for me no matter what. I don't know what it is, but we have a bond that could never be broken. We just had something between us that couldn't be touched by anyone. Our relationship was amazing, considering that fact that she and Seth were full brother and sister, sharing both the same mother and father. To her I wasn't just a big brother, I was her hero and could never do wrong in her eyes. I did my best to be an awesome big brother to her—the best that I could have been. We would talk about everything, together while Seth would be outside playing. I chose to always be there, to hold her and do whatever she asked of me. She was my best friend. I was her hero, but little did she know she was my hero.

Growing up wasn't like the typical childhood that most kids got to experience. There were a couple key factors that made my childhood extremely hard: my mom and sister were both sick, and we lived on welfare.

Life for my mom wasn't easy. It seemed as if we would always move from place to place, never staying at one location too long. That was hard on me because I was always going to different schools and having to meet and make new friends. I would have enjoyed staying at one school, one home, and not having to move as much. Now I'm not mad about that because moving from school to school and place to place gave me the opportunity to meet new and different people, for which I am thankful. So even though the changes of school and place were hard on me, I can't complain because of the good learning experiences I gained.

Even with all of the moving around and the sickness, I remember great times. My mom did the best she could to provide for me and make sure I had everything I needed. I'm grateful for that. I did most of the stuff that kids did like going to the park and hanging out with friends—all of that good stuff. It was just different though knowing that something was wrong with my mom. Yet when I was living with her, we had a great time. One of my favorite things about her was she made sure we had video games to play. Another one of my favorite memories was watching WWE, or back then when I was little it, was called WWF. Mom would let me watch that on the bedroom floor of her room where I would fall asleep once the show was over. I thought that was the greatest. Even though I was so young, my mom would allow me to watch that show. My grandma really didn't like WWF, but she still made sure that we went got to see the show live at the Arena together. Another crazy thing my mom allowed me to do was watch the Chucky movies with her and my brother's dad in the living room. I remember my brother and I lying on the blankets on the floor while they sat on the couch watching movies. Seth and I would be really into the movie even with all the blood and crazy little doll that would kill people. My mom would let us watch that kind of stuff. I'll never forget that about her.

My Mom never allowed us to give her an attitude or act up. She would have none of that. She was a really strict. If you did something she didn't like or approve of, she would let you know about it, so, growing up I got a lot of soap and hot sauce in my mouth because of what I said. Mom would also take off her shoe and spank us. Mom would punish both Seth and me, but Seth was more obedient, and I was rebellious. It seemed as if I got punished the most because I wouldn't obey her. My mom just wanted to make sure that she did the best she could to discipline us and make sure that we turned out alright. Now that I'm older and look back to reflect, I understand why, but at the time, her discipline didn't make my bother or me very happy. It made us very upset. Being disciplined was just a learning experience, but I didn't like that she was so strict. If you did something wrong she believed you had to be taught a lesson.

She was also a neat freak. Mom had our clothes very well organized. When she put them away, she would make sure that the outfits were matching in the drawers. Seth and I would always have to do chores every day and always have to clean up after our self. If we didn't, we might not have been able to play our video games or...