The New Normal

Diversity and Complexity in 21st-Century Families

Froma Walsh

All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

— TolsToy

All happy families are more or less dissimilar; all unhappy ones are more or less alike.

— Nabokov

Families and the world around them have changed dramatically over recent decades. Many traditionalists, sharing Tolstoy's view, have contended that families must conform to one model — fitting a cultural standard of "the normal family" — to be happy and raise children well. As families have become increasingly varied over a lengthening life course, our conceptions of normality must be examined and our very definition of "family" must be expanded to encompass a broad spectrum and fluid reshaping of relational and household patterns. This is the "new normal." Supporting Nabokov's view of happy families, a substantial body of research attests to the potential for healthy functioning and well-being in a variety of family arrangements. In our turbulent times, family bonds are more vital than ever. It is important to understand the challenges families face and the family processes that can enable them to thrive.

This overview chapter seeks to advance our knowledge of the diversity and complexity of contemporary families. First, we consider the social construction of family normality and clarify four major perspectives from the clinical field and the social sciences. The value of a systems orientation is highlighted, to understand "normal" family processes in terms of average and optimal family functioning. Next, a sociohistorical lens is used to survey the emerging trends and challenges for today's families. Chapter 2 then examines the influence of assumptions about family normality and dysfunction in clinical training and practice.

WHAT IS A NORMAL FAMILY?

The Social Construction of Normality

Clinicians and family scholars have become increasingly aware that definitions of normality are socially constructed, influenced by subjective worldviews and by the larger culture (Hoffman, 1990). Most influential theory and research on the family were developed by white, middle-class scholars and professionals, predominantly male, and from a Euro-American cultural perspective. Family therapists have become wary of the term "normal," taking to heart Foucault's (1980) criticism that too often in history, theories of normality have been constructed by dominant groups, reified by religion or science, and used to pathologize those who do not fit prescribed standards. Notions of normality sanction and privilege certain family arrangements while stigmatizing and marginalizing others.

The very concept of the family has been undergoing redefinition as profound social, economic, and political changes of recent decades have altered the landscape of family life (Coontz, 1997). Amid the turmoil, individuals and their loved ones have been forging new and varied relationship patterns within and across households as they strive to build caring and committed bonds. These efforts are made more difficult by questions about their normality. Our understanding of family functioning — from healthy to average to dysfunctional — must take into account these challenges and changes in family life in our changing world.

Although some might argue that the growing diversity and complexity of families make it impossible or unwise even to address the topic of normality, the very subjectivity of constructions of "the normal family" makes it all the more imperative. They powerfully influence all clinical theory, practice, research, and policy. It is crucial to be aware of the explicit and implicit assumptions and biases about normal families that are embedded in our cultural, professional, and personal belief systems.

Varied Conceptions of Family Normality

Defining family normality is problematic in that the term "normal" is used to refer to quite different concepts and is influenced by the subjective position of the observer and the surrounding culture. The label may hold quite different meanings to a clinician, a researcher, or a family concerned about its own normality. Our language confounds understanding when such terms as "healthy," "typical," and "functional" are used interchangeably with the label "normal." In an overview of concepts of mental health in the...