Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Steve White is a retired management consultant. He has written books on psychology, parenting, and knowing God. He attends Northpoint Community Church. In addition, he is a frequent speaker and educator. He has four children and eight grandchildren, and lives in Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife, Sherrie. You may contact Mr. White and visit his website at www.BooksAboutHim.com.

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Please Change Your Mind

iUniverse, Inc.

Contents

Preface...............................................................ixIntroduction..........................................................xi1 In the Beginning....................................................12 The Lens and the Laws...............................................53 The Results We Create for Ourselves.................................114 Using the Process Diagram...........................................165 Some Everyday Examples..............................................206 Businesses Have Laws Too............................................307 Oh Baby, Will You Marry Me?.........................................388 Buddha, Muhammad, or Jesus—Take Your Pick.....................459 What Do I Do With These Kids?.......................................5210 But I Hate Dieting and Workouts....................................6111 Hey, Hey, Hey—Let's Be Careful Out There.....................7312 Hold It Right There, Louie, and Drop That Gun......................7713 The Only Unit That Matters.........................................8114 Group Think........................................................9115 John Lennon Was Right After All....................................10316 Who Works for Whom Here?...........................................11017 I Love My Car but I Don't Know Why.................................11718 I Ain't Much for Book Learnin'.....................................12019 Visionaries and Others Who Change Our Lives........................12420 Do the Right Thing and Do It Right Now.............................13021 Money Isn't Everything, but It's Way up There......................14922 What Will They Think of Next?......................................15223 They've Got a Cure for Everything..................................15524 It's Not Nice to Fool Mother Nature................................15825 Earth, Wind, and Sun—More Power to You.......................16126 She's a Lot More Than Just Pretty..................................16527 The New You........................................................171Acknowledgments.......................................................175About the Author......................................................177Chapter Notes.........................................................179

Chapter One

Life Occurs for Us

Life occurs for each of us every day at one hundred miles per hour. Our lives are so busy, it is hard to keep up with it all. Between our jobs, our families, church, recreation, civic duties, and maybe even a little rest periodically, we process so much information every day that it's a miracle we can function at all.

Technology brings everything on the Internet right to our face, 24/7. Thanks to search engines, social networks, dating services, and much more, we've never had access to more information more conveniently than we have today.

We take all this activity and information in through our five senses. The lion's share of this information gathering is done through seeing and hearing. Our brains or minds (I use these terms interchangeably) are extremely capable, fast computers that process all this life activity in nanoseconds, hundreds of thousands of times each day. No wonder we need sleep.

I have created a graphic diagram that starts in this chapter and builds in subsequent chapters. This diagram will help you follow the logic of the process I will describe.

Each of us has a lens through which we see and process life. All life activity has to pass through that lens before it gets to our brain. In addition to this lens, we all have certain human needs that we are driven to meet.

Human Needs

Psychologists and psychiatrists have written a great deal about basic human needs. Abraham Maslow wrote a paper in 1943 entitled "A Theory of Human Motivation," which proposed a hierarchy of human needs. I believe that Maslow's findings best summarize the collective wisdom of all the experts in regard to human needs. He found that all basic needs could be broken down into five major categories. He believed they were hierarchical, and perhaps they are; but for our purposes I simply agree that they are correct and will refer to them separately. The following pyramid diagram shows Maslow's five basic human needs.

Physiological Needs

For the most part, physiological needs are obvious. They are the literal requirements for human survival, the need to live. Air, water, and food are all metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements. Human sexual instinct maintains a birth rate sufficient for the survival of the species.

Safety and Security

These needs have to do with our yearning for a predictable, orderly world. These needs include personal security, financial security, health and well-being, and safety nets against accidents and illnesses.

Love and Belonging

We need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, whether it comes from large social groups, such as clubs, churches, sports teams, gangs, or professional organizations; or from small, intimate groups. This would include emotionally based relationships in general, such as friends and family. We need to love and be loved by others.

Esteem

We need to be respected and have self-esteem and self-respect. We need to be accepted and valued by others. This would include the need for status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. It would also include such things as strength, competency, mastery, self-confidence, independence, and freedom.

Self-Actualization

This need pertains to a person's realizing his or her full potential. It is the desire to become increasingly more of what one is, to become everything that one is capable of being. Individually, this need is specific. In one person it might be a strong desire to become a good parent; in others it might be expressed athletically, or in the arts, or through inventions.

While Maslow's hierarchy of needs has its critics, it is widely accepted. In fact, many courses in marketing and business use his pyramid as one basis for understanding consumers' motives for action. For our purposes in this book, we will look at these needs within individuals, and we will consider them as separate rather than hierarchical.

So our process looks like this:

The PLEASE CHANGE YOUR MIND Process

Chapter Two

The Lens and the Laws

As stated in the previous chapter, we all have a lens through which we see and process the world and all of life. It is unique to each of us, made obvious by the fact that two people can view the same thing and each see something different. Look at the following picture:

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Do you see an old woman? Or do you see a young woman? Look closely and you will see them both. So while you and I can look at the same thing, we may each see something different. But what I see is just as real to me as what you see is real to you. We are looking at the same thing, but the laws we put on our lens could be very different. Similarly, when life comes at us, you and I may witness an event but interpret it...