Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Paula Harris is part author, part financial advisor and part dream architect who takes great pride in helping her clients, particularly mid-life widowed women, obtain financial peace of mind while they get back on their feet, rise up and navigate their path forward.As WH Cornerstone Investments' co-founder, Paula is assisting people in the life planning that goes hand-in-hand with financial planning. She is a Return on Life Advisor¿, as well as, a Certified Jack Canfield Methodology Trainer in Jack Canfield's Success Principles. Paula is the author of "Rise Up: A Widow's Journal" and co-author of "Life Lessons In Success". Paula is also the founder of Rise Up Success Training and has run several Rise Up weekend retreats for women in transition. She also has YouTube channel called Wisdom Wednesday

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Dropped but Not Broken

iUniverse, Inc.

Contents

Dedication..............................................................vAcknowledgments.........................................................ixIntroduction............................................................xiPart 1: Lost Love — "The Overall Problem".........................1Love Turned into Hate...................................................5Suffering in Silence....................................................8Hostile Heart...........................................................12Dropped but Not Broken..................................................14I Won't Let that Happen Again!..........................................17Keeping the Scars.......................................................21Part 2: Loyal Love — "The Vertical Solution"......................27When Does Love Begin?...................................................29Deep-Down Desire........................................................33No Substitute for Love..................................................38From Rejection to Rejuvenation..........................................46One Size Fits All.......................................................56Yes, You Can............................................................64Part 3: Love Lens — "The Horizontal Solution".....................73What Does Love Look Like?...............................................75In Word or Tongue.......................................................83Loved Ones as Idols.....................................................87Self-Preservation.......................................................94Having Done All, Just Stand.............................................105Love When I Don't Even Trust?...........................................115Part 4: Love Light — "Daily Living It Out"........................123Deflection from Devotion................................................125Love without Limits.....................................................138Faith Versus Feelings...................................................154"I Do"..................................................................170A More Excellent Way....................................................182Passionate Purpose......................................................189Resources...............................................................195Reference...............................................................196Endnotes................................................................197

Chapter One

Wanda homeschooled her four children for many years. It took a lot of dedication and sacrifice. She was committed to a different style of parenting than what she had been raised under. She stared out of the window with tears streaming down her face. Unfortunately, at this point, two of her children had graduated from college, and it seemed all the sacrifice was for naught. They despised their mother and felt she had kept them in a prison. They rarely called her and felt they needed to establish their own way of living. Anger welled up inside as she pondered how their attendance at church was sporadic too. The more she thought about the years of sacrifice compared to the disrespect and ungratefulness, the more she became angry. She was at the point where she was ready to disown them completely. Just the thought of them made her nauseated.

What woman doesn't want to be loved? If not for who she is, then at least for what she does. In either case, she desires to be appreciated. She would like to feel special and set apart in some way. This can be in the realm of being a devoted, Christian, fabulous wife; a great mom; an outstanding single woman; a marvelous grandmother; a terrific boss; or a superb employee. It does not matter ... all of us want to feel special by knowing we are loved or appreciated. No matter how hard one may be on the exterior, there is this deep desire inside each one of us to be loved. When we experience gratitude or some expression of love, it encourages us. However, when this becomes absent in our lives, we seem to slide down a slope of discouragement. We appear no more significant than an ant crushed by a person casually walking down the street. Nothing is wrong with having a deep desire for love. It was placed inside of us by God Himself. How we fulfill this desire is what makes all the difference.

Even Christian women can get caught up in fantasies regarding love. You may want a knight in shining armor to come and rescue you from a dungeon of loneliness. Or maybe you are waiting for Cupid to shoot an arrow in your "soul mate," who will love you forever and ever. You may already be bound to a mate and believe there is a tonic he can take that would pump some romantic fluid into his veins. Of course, I am being facetious with these examples, but fantasies will prove to be unreal, and Cupid's arrows are mythical. Have you ever been disappointed by love to the point it led you down a path of hatred? Did Cupid's arrows crash? Remember, Cupid or any romantic fantasy that tries to replace or be a substitute for God's sincere love is going to crash sooner or later. When your hope is placed in something that fails, your heart is made sick. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life" (Prov. 13:12, NLT). No matter how messed up things appear at the moment, they can be changed.

Godly women are not immune to heartbreaks. Did you give your all only to find out later in a relationship you were not good enough or you did not measure up to your lover's expectations anymore? Have you ever been left feeling rejected and alone? Did you fight with all your might, only to discover those deep desires resided in you alone, and there was nothing you could do to reproduce them in him? He just was not interested anymore. When innocently confronted with a blatant judgment of "you are no longer valued," it can lead the gentlest woman down a path of bitterness or rage. It is then that you must make a choice to continue on a path of hate or take a different route. If you do not make a conscious effort to jump off this path, a whirlwind of hate will carry you away. Once you have allowed yourself to be swept away, trying to find your way back can be daunting. It could take years ... or it could never happen.

A plethora of problems can turn a heart of love into a heart of hate. There are many forms of abuse—and women being literally battered as well. These are confusing cuddles, where love appears to be present, but is a masquerade for lust or another's selfishness. Lust and love are not the same. They are opposites, just like love and hatred. Love is all about giving, and lust is all about getting. If you have been left abused or battered, you do not have to relinquish your deep desire for love. Sincere love has been in the shadows waiting all this time for you. Once you learn to open your heart again, it will flood your soul!

You need to have a clear understanding of your God-given desire for love. Not only do you need to understand it, you need to know how to function in it for love to reach its ultimate fulfillment. If your heart is shut up or closed in any degree by hurts inflicted upon it, you will need to learn to open it once again. By the end of this book, you will have this understanding and know how to receive and give...