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Parenting Unplugged!

iUniverse, Inc.

Contents

PART I Why You Need to Get Unplugged..................................................1CHAPTER 1 The Philosophy of Parenting Unplugged.......................................3CHAPTER 2 Parenting Unplugged Made Simple.............................................6CHAPTER 3 Stop, Look, Listen, and Learn...............................................15CHAPTER 4 Natural Times to Get Unplugged..............................................19CHAPTER 5 Technology: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.................................23PART II A Year Of Unplugged Activities, Month By Month Ages 2-8.......................27CHAPTER 6 JANUARY.....................................................................29CHAPTER 7 FEBRUARY....................................................................38CHAPTER 8 MARCH.......................................................................46CHAPTER 9 APRIL.......................................................................55CHAPTER 10 MAy........................................................................65CHAPTER 11 JUNE.......................................................................74CHAPTER 12 JULY.......................................................................81CHAPTER 13 AUGUST.....................................................................91CHAPTER 14 SEPTEMBER..................................................................100CHAPTER 15 OCTOBER....................................................................111CHAPTER 16 NOVEMBER...................................................................121CHAPTER 17 DECEMBER...................................................................130PART III Tweens, Teens, And The Whole Family..........................................141CHAPTER 18 Parenting Unplugged With Tweens And Teens..................................143CHAPTER 19 Fifty Unplugged Family Activities For Tweens And Teens.....................146CHAPTER 20 Dr Cindy-Approved Plugged-In Family-Time Activities........................148CHAPTER 21 Wrapping It Up!............................................................150

Chapter One

Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have! Give yourself permission to make mistakes, and don't feel guilty. We are all human.

The cornerstone of the Parenting Unplugged philosophy is the use of the term "unplugged." It means time away from the distractions of our plugged-in world (TV, video games, iPods, iPads, phones, et al.) devoted exclusively to your child when you are present and in the moment. Unplugged time does not need to be planned—it can happen in the everyday moments. I will discuss how to enjoy these simple, easy, everyday moments later in the book. Children face many hurdles as they grow up, from peer pressure to scholastics or sports anxiety. You want your child to feel that he can confide in you, and you want to be able to communicate honestly with him when he does. To get to that point, you must invest the time now, while he is young. Although it is never too late to start building trust, the sooner you begin the stronger the bond between you and your child will be.

The parents who come to my office are well aware of the challenges of raising children today. "How can I be a perfect parent?" I'm asked. I tell them there is no such thing as a perfect parent, that all they have to do is be present! Instead of trying to be perfect, I encourage parents to aim for emotional commitment by following some simple guidelines. These guidelines are intertwined and relate to each other on many levels. They involve your parental expectations, how you perceive your children, how you react to them, how you discipline your children, and most of all how you love your children—no matter what.

When we make the decision to become parents, we truly have no idea what it will encompass, because after all, this is a job we are not trained for. The following "job description" sums up what being a parent is all about:

POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent twenty-four-hour shifts on-call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to sixty mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small-gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and maintain mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery-operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required (unfortunately). On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and only wish you could do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, pension, tuition reimbursement, paid holidays, and stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Chapter Two

Parenting is a journey and a process. Just take it one step at a time.

Now that you have a better understanding of what a parent's role needs to be, I would like to share with you my philosophy on parenting and how to deal with children, whether they are age two, six, ten, fifteen, or twenty.

1. Play or Talk: Play or talk with your child every day...