How It All Began

I'm not a cowgirl, but I did live on a farm with my father and mother Arthur and Mabel Barrilleaux, my three brothers, and one sister. I was a country girl being that my father had about 50 head of cattle. My mother had her chickens, pigs, etc. So I guess we were rich with all what we had and most importantly, love.

My first and second marriages both ended in divorce. It did not matter who was at fault - two marriages were over. In my first marriage, I prayed to God for the marriage. But the need changes I prayed for never came. As a result, the marriage ended and I no longer trusting God. The second marriage was the same way. I did not understand what was going on so once again, I prayed to God for an answer. I have three boys - Allen, Lester, and Arthur. Allen and Lester were born before I was married to Lester. Arthur was born during my marriage to Lester Sr., who is also my son Lester's father. Allen's father is Alan. We were never married. During our marriage, my second husband, Nolan, was in prison. It was during one of those visits that I met my present husband, Dean.

On one particular visit to Nolan at Louisiana State Penitentiary, he decided to visit with someone besides me. I decided at that moment to leave and never return. I never went back to see him. He would write me letters but would not respond to him. I used to joke around with my present husband, Dean at Camp Win-a-Friend that both Dean and Nolan would send me Christmas, birthday, and Mother's Day cards, which would arrive on the same day.

Camp Win-a-Friend was a state trooper camp located in Holden, Louisiana. The camp was initially established to the benefit of underprivileged children. It was designed for the kids to have a great deal of fun. Inmates were also housed at the camp. The inmates were all trustees.

As time progressed, I once again began seeking God for answers concerning my personal life. It seems like my prayers were not going anywhere. Little did I know, things would change in a major way.

The Day We Met

I met my present husband, Dean through a friend around Easter in 1993. Dean's real name is Venson Dean. He prefers to use his middle name. During this time, we shared many conversations about ourselves. We talked a lot about our families. It was also during this time that he met my three boys

We started seeing each other at the Louisiana State Police camp in Holden called Camp Win-a-Friend. While I was actively visiting Nolan, I became friends with the wife of another inmate was also visiting her husband. When her husband went to this camp, I let her stay with me. At the time, I was living in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and she was living in Texas. She and her husband decided to play matchmaker and got Dean and me together. During one visit when my friend came to town to visit her husband, she persuaded me to speak to Dean on the phone. It also took some persuading on his end as well because he did not want to talk to me. He eventually decided to give us a try. We also agreed to meet.

When my friend and I went to Camp Win-a-Friend, there was a road off the main gravel road at the time. That road was long, and it was awhile before we arrived at the camp. My friend's husband and another inmate came to the road to meet us. Since I did not know which one Dean was, I ducked down in the truck so he would not see me. I wanted to surprise him.

When we arrived at the campgrounds, two men came out of the kitchen. One was in dress clothes and the other one in blue jeans. I was not sure which one was Dean until I got out and walked toward them. Dean stepped out to meet me, and I reached out my hand to shake his. One thing I immediately noticed about him is that he had calluses on his hands. This told me that I was standing before a man that was not afraid to work. This is something you just don't see today.

After some time, the boys and I would visit Dean on Sundays. The boys would swim and play in the arcade game room at the camp. Initially, Dean's daughters would come and see him. Since they were young, either the girls' mother or someone else would bring them. I did not meet his girls because their visit stopped around the time I started seeing Dean. I never found out what happened. Later, when his daughter, Rishia René became an adult, she decided to visit her Aunt Paulette and Uncle Glen - Dean's sister and brother-in-law. Paulette later called me and asked for Dean's address. She told me his daughters wanted to write him and that they wanted to visit him. I asked if I could meet her. Paulette asked Rishia René and she said yes. She looks so much like my daughter-in-law Tonya.

Dean's Story

Dean's first wife was Vivian. They were married before Dean went to prison. They have two girls - Rishia René and Sunde Gayle.

Before he went to prison, he was in the Army National Guard. He learned to be a heavy equipment operator. Dean mastered his craft in this position. He makes a talent out of it. There's more than just operating equipment. He has a gift.

About a week after Dean asked me if I wanted to know why he was in prison. I told him it was up to him. I did not want him to feel pressured to talk about it. I knew that he would tell me when he was ready. He decided that he was ready to share the detail of his incarceration with me. When I heard about the event that led to his life sentence in prison, I was in utter disbelief. I was astounded that the court system could render such an unfair version of justice during his trial. They kept evidence from the jury.

Providing For My Family

In 1994, I began working as a cashier. At this time, I was also attending classes at the Vocational Technical College in Baton Rouge, Louisiana to study mechanics and the Vocational Technical College in Port Allen, Louisiana to train as a nurses' aide. I was an experienced eighteen-wheeler driver and school bus driver. With every job I obtained, there was always an issue concerning childcare. My sons were ages 12, 9, and 6 respectively. I could not get a babysitter or day care for sons. So most of the time, they were latchkey kids. I didn't like it but at the time, I didn't have a choice. I could not afford to pay a babysitter or daycare tuition because I had a low paying job and was only receiving three hundred dollars of child support from Lester Sr. for Lester and Arthur. Although I was a hard worker, it was extremely hard for me and my sons.

My boys and I were not attending church. Time was not something I had a lot of at this time. I did not have time for me or my boys let alone to visit a man I was falling in love with in prison. Dean's inability to do things with the boys and me was a lot to digest.

The world wants you to believe that just because a person is in prison they are unlovable. That they should be cast aside as if they have no feelings or worth. This is far from the truth. These are individuals that have the same capacity to love as if they were not a part of the penal systems. Some tend to disregard the fact that a person can rehabilitate themselves even after being found guilty in a court of law by a jury of his or her peers. Society also feels that instead spending funds on inmates who are innocent or who may have been rehabilitated; the funds should be put toward something more important as further educating...