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Activating the Power Within

BALBOA PRESS

Contents

Chapter One

Take Back Your Power

"The only thing to fear is fear itself."—Franklin D. Roosevelt

If you are thinking this is a huge step to take in the first week, it is. But, if you don't dive in and empower yourself starting now, you will remain on the sidelines in the game of life. That is where most of us have been thus far. Rethink your whole approach to this game they call life. Get in gear and head for the starting line. You know you want to enjoy the game and reap the rewards of a successful life. I am here to help you dive into thinking about being empowered and stop letting others live your life for you.

Do you have to come to a point of frustration or anger in order to say what's on your mind? I used to think I was the kind of person who freely spoke her mind. But, I learned that my empowerment was coming from a place of hostility. I had to get mad in order to express myself. I worked up enough negative self-talk to convince myself that I deserved something, and demanded it while in a fighting mode. I was no longer afraid to ask, claim, or demand. This left no room for discussion of any kind. If internal arguments precede your outbursts, then you are not coming from an empowered place. Being open and honest about anything was not happening for me. I was too afraid to live my life for me.

I learned early to let others do my thinking for me. I gave away my power to others without a second thought. Something in me knew it wasn't right, but I did nothing about it. I hated myself when I behaved in such a manner. Even worse, as I became an adult, I desperately wanted to be honest and authentic. I believed in "what you see is what you get," but for a long time, masked my real self and put forth what I thought was an acceptable image, all the while living with this anger inside.

Dissolve Fear

Fear steals your power. It is a major obstacle that gets in the way of happiness or greater success. I remember being taught in religion class at an early age that I was unworthy. I was born with Original sin. This belief settled into the very core of my being. If I wasn't worthy, then there was nothing about me that was of any worth. This was my earliest encounter with fear and it resulted in not being able to speak my truth. I did not have a voice, because I misinterpreted what my Catholic teaching meant by being unworthy. It became a road map to being without power in my adult life. In high school, when I expressed a thought, or even a question, that contradicted the teachings of my religion at the time, I was punished and told I needed to be reformed. I became afraid to speak my mind. As I got older and other rules were added to how I was supposed to think, this further cemented the beliefs about myself that were false. Finding out who I was and living it was not an option for me. Fear created a distortion for me and inhibited my ability to deal with learning who I was. So, I became what I thought others wanted me to be. It was impossible for me to become empowered when my reality was so distorted.

Fear will keep you stuck as long as you make it your reality. A joyful, successful life is further and further away from you the longer you live in fear. You can only rise to the level of your greatest fear. But when you accept that fear is not your reality, you can overcome it.

What is fear? I heard the definition of fear used as an acronym: Fear means False Entity Appearing Real. We give life to fear and make it real when we hold on to a fearful emotion. Empowered people are ones who no longer hold on to or react with, a strong, fearful emotion when they have an anxious thought. My ah-ha moment came after several months of being afraid of a boss who continually spoke to me like I was a child. Every Monday, I dreaded going into a meeting where I was subjected to his way of speaking to me. After reading some material and spending some time studying how to better honor myself, I went into the meeting a different person. One Monday, as I began my day getting ready for the office, I started to observe my feelings of dread about attending the meeting. I realized that during my studying and reading, I had started embodying what I was learning. There was a process taking place out of my control that affected change in me. I spoke my truth that I didn't like how I was being talked to. I felt a new feeling, one that was not fear, as I went into the meeting. I became empowered when I started observing my thoughts rather than staying absorbed in them. I transformed from my fearful self into the powerful one.

I entered the room a new person. During the meeting, another comment was made that I felt was condescending to me. I went to my boss and asked for a minute to speak with him in his office. I spoke my mind politely, calmly, and sincerely, claiming I would not accept being spoken to as a child. He responded apologetically and I left. He never spoke to me again in that manner. Returning to my office, I felt empowered. Mind you, I had wanted to say this to him long before it actually took place. I learned, from my reading and studying, to believe that I was responsible for my experiences and free to reclaim my power. After that, I became stronger and braver. During the encounter with my boss, I trembled like a captured bird. But, the act of claiming my power was so strong and felt so right that, for the first time, I felt in control. I was not angry or hostile at all. I knew how I wanted to experience my life and acted upon it. All I did was claim my power. I have always given respect to others and I was now demanding respect for myself. I tapped into my higher self the moment I began observing my thoughts. What resulted was a newfound freedom. I spent the rest of the day letting the empowered me get in touch with my empowered self. I created a new road map for my life.

Do you find that you oftentimes say or do what others want to hear or will approve of? If you communicate from that place, you are giving your power away. The more you do, the further away you get from living your truth. I used to imagine that if I were nice to others, they would like me. I had to learn that if anyone was going to like me, it had to start with me liking myself. This often shows up as a disagreement with someone. In healthy relationships, each member of the relationship is being honest and upfront with the other. There are times when you don't say what you want because you don't want to upset anyone. When you pretend that everything is alright, you are giving your power to the behavior, which is the same as giving it to another person. And if you're in a group where no one is acknowledging the unhealthy behavior, you have a group dynamic that is powerless. I observed this in social settings and at family gatherings. Guests arrived and were greeted with open arms and kisses when only minutes before they had been talked about not being wanted at the event. Not accepting the unwanted guests required other family members to be honest about how they felt. This didn't happen, because as a group they were powerless. Instead they all gave their power to the unwanted guests.

Making a decision

I realized that I could make choices. I could make choices in every moment of my life on every subject, especially...